Does a woman never forget? It was not true perhaps as Lady Leighton said
it, but it would be vain to say that Evelyn was not moved to the bottom
of her heart by the sight of her former lover. He, about whom all the
dreams of her youth had been woven, who had deserted her, given her up
in her need, and humiliated her before all the world. To see him at all
would not have been without effect upon her, but to see him so
humiliated in his turn, so miserable a wreck, while she was in all the
flush of a late return to youth and well-being, happy in a subdued way,
and on the height of prosperity, gave her a shock of mingled feeling,
perhaps more strong than any she had experienced since he rent her life
in two, and covered her (as she felt) with shame. But it was not any
re-awakening of the extinguished fire which moved Evelyn. She could not
forget, it was true, and yet she could easily have forgotten, the
relation in which she had stood to him, and her old adoration of him, at
all times the visionary love of a girl, giving a hundred fictitious
excellencies to the hero she had chosen. This was not what had occurred
to her mind. Had she seen him in his ancient supremacy of good
fortune--a well-preserved, middle-aged Adonis, smiling perhaps, as she
had imagined, at her late marriage with a rich _parvenu_, keeping the
superior position of a man who has rejected a love bestowed upon him,
and never without that complacent sense of having “behaved badly,” which
is one of the many forms of vanity--the sight would not have disturbed
her, except, perhaps, with a passing sensation of anger. But to see him
in his downfall gave Evelyn a shock of pain. It was too terrible to
think of what he had been and what he was. Instead of the sense of
retribution which her friend had suggested, Evelyn had a horrified
revulsion of feeling, rebellious against any such possibility, angry
lest it should be supposed that she could have desired the least and
smallest punishment, or could take any satisfaction from its infliction.
She would have hated herself could she have thought this possible. There
is an old poem in which the story of Troilus and Cressida, so often
treated by the poets in its first bloom, has an after episode, an
administration of poetic justice, in which all the severity of the
mediæval imagination comes forth. The false Cressida falls into deepest
misery in this tragic strain, and becomes a leper, the last and most
awful of degradations. And while she sits with her wretched companions,
begging her miserable bread by the roadside, the injured Troilus, the
true knight, rides by. Evelyn, though I do not suppose she had ever
seen Henryson’s poem, felt the same anguish of pity which arose in the
bosom of the noble Greek. If she could have sent in secret the richest
offering, and stolen aside out of the way not to insult the sufferer
even by a look, she would have done it. Her pity was an agony, but it
had nothing in it akin to love.
Lady Leighton, however, did not leave her friend any time to brood over
this painful scene. She had no intention to confine to a mere
interchange of courtesies this sudden reappearance upon the scene of a
former companion whom, indeed, she could not help effectually in the
period of her humiliation, but to whom now, in her newly acquired
wealth, Madeline felt herself capable of being of great use. And it must
not be supposed that it was purely a vulgar inclination to connect
herself with rising fortunes, or to derive advantage from her friend’s
new position that moved her. It was in its way a genuine and natural
desire to further her old companion, whom she had been fond of, but for
whom she could do nothing when she was poor and her position desperate.
The love of a little fuss and pleasant meddling was the alloy of Lady
Leighton’s gold, not any mercenary devotion to riches or thought of
personal advantage. It was certainly delightful to have somebody to push
and help on who could be nothing but a credit to you; to whom it would
be natural to spend much money; and who yet was “one of our own set” and
a favourite friend.
On the second day accordingly after that meeting which had been so
painful an entry into the old world, Lady Leighton came in upon Evelyn
as she sat alone, not very cheerful, longing for her husband and the
new home in which she should find her natural place. She came with a
rustle and bustle of energy, and that pretty air of having a thousand
things to do, which is distinctive of a lady in the height of the
season. “Here you are, all alone,” she said, “and so many people asking
for you. Why didn’t you come to luncheon yesterday? We waited half an
hour for you. And then we expected you at five o’clock, and I had Mary
Riversdale and Alice Towers to meet you, who had both _screamed_ to hear
you were in town. And you never came! And of course they thought me a
delusion and a snare, for they had given up half a dozen engagements.
Why didn’t you come?”
“I am very sorry,” Evelyn said.
“That is no excuse,” cried her friend. “You were upset by the sight of
that wretched Ned Saumarez. And I don’t wonder; but I believe he is not
half so ill as he looks, and up to a good deal of mischief still.
However, that is not the question. I have come about business. What are
you going to do about a house?”
“About a house?”
“I came to be quite frank with you to-day. When your husband comes back
you ought to have something ready for him. My dear Evelyn, I am going to
speak seriously. If you want to know people, and be properly taken up,
you must have a house for the rest of the season. A hotel is really not
the thing. You ought to be able to have a few well chosen dinner
parties, and to see your friends a little in the evening. There is
nothing like a speciality. You might go in for Indian people. Let it be
known that people are sure to meet a few Eastern big wigs, and your
fortune would be made.”
“But----” cried Evelyn aghast.
“Don’t tell me,” said Lady Leighton solemnly, “that you don’t want to
know people, and be properly taken up again. Of course you don’t require
to be pushed into society like a mere millionaire who is nobody. You are
quite different. People remember you. They say to me, ‘Oh, that is the
Miss Ferrars of the Gloucestershire family.’ Everybody knows who you
are. You have nothing to do but to choose a nice house--and there are
plenty at this time of the season to be had for next to nothing--and to
give a few really nice dinners. Doing it judiciously, finding out when
people are free, for of course it does happen now and then that there
will be a day when there is nothing going on, you can manage it yet. And
everybody knows that your husband is very rich. You could do enough at
least to open the way for next season, and make it quite simple. But, my
dear, in that case you must not go on wasting these precious days,
without deciding on anything and living in a hotel.”
“You take away my breath,” said Mrs. Rowland. “I have not the least
desire to be taken up by society. If I had, I think what I saw the other
day would have been enough to cure me; but I never had the smallest
thought--my husband is rich, I suppose, but he does not mean to spend
his money so. He means to live--at home--among his own people.”
Evelyn’s voice, which had been quite assured, faltered a little and
trembled as she said these last words.
“Among his own people!” said Lady Leighton, with a little shudder. “Do
you mean to say----! Now, my dear Evelyn, you must forgive me, for
perhaps I am quite wrong. I have heard about Mr. Rowland. I have always
heard that he was--that he had been----” Madeline Leighton was a person
of great sense. She saw in Evelyn’s naturally mild eyes that look of the
dove enraged, which is more alarming as a danger signal than any
demonstration on the part of the eagle. She concluded hastily, “A very
excellent man, the nicest man in the world.”
“You were rightly informed,” said Mrs. Rowland, somewhat stiffly. “My
husband is as good a man as ever lived.”
“But to go and settle among--his own people! perhaps they are not all as
good as ever lived. They must be a little different to what you have
been used to. Don’t you think you should stipulate for a little freedom?
Frank’s people are as good as ever lived, and they are all of course, so
to speak, in our own set. But if I were condemned to live with them all
the year round, I should die. Evelyn! it is, I assure you, a very
serious matter. One should begin with one’s husband seriously, you know.
Very good women who always pretend to like everything they are wanted to
do, and smother their own inclinations, are a mistake, my dear. They
always turn out a mistake. In the first place they are not true any more
than you thought me to be the other day. They are cheating, even if it
is with the best of motives. And in the end they are always found out.
And to pretend to like things you hate is just being as great a humbug
as any make-believe in society. Besides, your husband would like it far
better if you provided him with a little amusement, and kept his own
people off him for part of the year.”
“I don’t think Society would amuse him at all,” said Evelyn, with a
laugh. “And besides, he has no people that I know of--so that you need
not be frightened for me--except his own children,” she added, with
involuntary gravity.
Lady Leighton gave vent to an “O!” which was rounder than the O of
Giotto. Horror, amazement, compassion were in it. “He has children!” she
said faintly.
“Two--and they, of course, will be my first duty.”
“Girls?”
“A girl and a boy.”
“Oh, you poor thing!” said Lady Leighton, giving her friend an embrace
full of sympathy. “I am so sorry for you! I hope they are little
things.”
Evelyn felt a little restored to herself when she was encountered with
such solemnity. “You have turned all at once into a Tragic Muse,” she
said; “you need not be so sorry for me. I am not--sorry for myself.”
“Oh, don’t be a humbug,” said Lady Leighton severely; “of all humbugs a
virtuous humbug is the worst. You hate it! I can see it in your eyes.”
“My eyes must be very false if they express any such feeling. To tell
the truth,” she added smiling, “I am a little frightened--one can
scarcely help being that. I don’t know how they may look upon me. I
shouldn’t care to be considered like the stepmother of the fairy tales.”
“Poor Evelyn!” said Lady Leighton. She was so much impressed as to lose
that pliant readiness of speech which was one of her great qualities.
Madeline’s resources were generally supposed by her friends to be
unlimited: she had a suggestion for everything. But in this case she was
silenced--for at least a whole minute. Then she resumed, as if throwing
off a load.
“You should have the boy sent to Eton, and the girl to a good school.
You can’t be expected to take them out of the nursery. And for their
sakes, Evelyn, if for nothing else, it is _most important_ that you
should know people and take your place in society. It makes all my
arguments stronger instead of weaker: you must bring Miss Rowland
out--when she grows up.”
Evelyn could not but laugh at the ready advice which always sprang up
like a perpetual fountain, in fine independence of circumstances. “Dear
Madeline,” she said, “there is only one drawback, which is that they are
grown up already. My stepdaughter is eighteen. I don’t suppose she will
go to school, if I wished it ever so much--and I have no wish on the
subject. It is a great responsibility; but provided they will accept me
as their friend----”
“And where have they been brought up? Is she pretty? are they
presentable? She must have money, and she will marry, Evelyn; there’s
hope in that. But instead of departing from my advice to you on that
account, I repeat it with double force. You _must_ bring out a girl of
eighteen. She must see the world. You can’t let her marry anybody that
may turn up in the country. Take my word for it, Evelyn,” she added
solemnly, “if it was necessary before, it is still more necessary now.”
“She may not marry at all--there are many girls who do not.”
“Don’t let us anticipate anything so dreadful,” said the woman of the
world. “A stepdaughter who does not marry is too much to look forward
to. No, my dear, that is what you must do. You must bring her out well
and get her off. Is she pretty? for, of course, she will be rich.”
“I don’t know. I know little about the children. My husband has been in
India for a long time. He does not himself know so much of them as he
ought.”
A shiver went through Lady Leighton’s elegant toilette. She kissed her
friend with great pity. “I will stand by you, dear,” she said, “to the
very utmost of my ability. You may be sure that anything I can do to
help you;--but put on your bonnet in the meantime I have a list of
houses I want you to look at. You can look at them at least--that does
no harm; if not for this season, it will be a guide to you for the next.
And it is always more or less amusing. After that there are some calls I
have to make. Come, Evelyn, I really cannot leave you to mope by
yourself here.”
And Evelyn went. She was lonely, and it was a greater distraction after
all than buying cabinets in Wardour Street, and looking over even the
most lovely old Persian rugs. Looking at houses, especially furnished
houses, to be let for the season, is an amusement which many ladies
like. It is curious to see the different ideas, the different habits of
the people who want to let them, and to contrast the house that is
furnished to be let and the house that is furnished to be lived in,
which are two different things. Lady Leighton enjoyed the afternoon very
much. She pointed out to her friend just how she could arrange the rooms
in every house, so that the liveliest hopes were left in the mind of
each householder; and by the time they got back to Madeline’s own house
to tea, she declared herself too tired to do anything but lie on the
sofa, and talk over all they had seen. “It lies between Wilton Place and
Chester Street,” she said. “The last is the best house, but then the
other is better furnished. That boudoir in Wilton Place is a little gem:
or you might make the drawing-room in Chester Street exceedingly pretty
with those old things you are always buying. The carpets are very bad, I
must allow, but with a few large rugs--and it is such a good situation.
Either of them would do. And so cheap!--a mere nothing for millionaires
like you.”
Evelyn allowed, not without interest, that the houses were very nice.
She allowed herself to discuss the question. Visions floated before her
eyes of old habits resumed, and that flutter of movement, of occupation,
of new things to see and hear, which forms the charm of town, caught her
with its fascination. To step a little, just a little, not much, into
the living stream, to feel the movement, though she was not carried
away by it, was a temptation. At a distance it is easy to condemn the
frivolity, the hurry, the rush of the season; but to touch its
glittering surface over again after a long interval of banishment, and
feel the thrill of the tide of life which is never still, which quickens
the pulse and stimulates the mind, has a great attraction in it. Evelyn
forgot for the moment the shock which had so driven her back from all
pleasant projects. She allowed herself to see with Madeline’s eyes. No
doubt it might be pleasant. It was now June, and a month of society in
the modified way in which a late arrival, so long separated from all old
acquaintances can alone hope to enjoy it, would not be too great an
interruption to the home life, and it would leave time to have
everything done at Rosmore. And it would postpone a little the
introduction to many new elements of which she was afraid. She had been
disappointed when her husband left her, to have the entrance upon her
new life postponed at all, and the period of suspense prolonged. But
that feeling began to give way to other feelings--feelings more natural.
After the unutterably subdued life she had led in India, and before the
novel and strange existence which was now waiting for her as the mother
and guide of human creatures unknown to her, might not a moment of
relaxation, of individuality, be worth having? She had been Mrs.
Stanhope’s friend without any identity, with a life which was all bound
up in the obscure rooms of the bungalow; and she was Mr. Rowland’s wife,
the mother of his children, the head of his house, in an atmosphere
altogether novel to her, and which of her, in her natural personality,
knew nothing. Society was not her sphere, yet it was the nearest to any
sphere in which she could stand as herself. And she allowed herself to
be seduced. She thought that perhaps for a little James might enjoy it.
Chester Street is very near the Park. To walk out in the June mornings,
when even the London air is made of sunshine, to the Row and see the
dazzling stream flow by--the beautiful horses, the beautiful
people--girls and men whom it was a sight to see--to meet every five
minutes an old acquaintance, to hear once more that babble about people
and personal incidents which is so trivial to the outsider, but always
attractive to those who know the names and can understand the situations
about which everybody talks! And in the evening, to sit at the head of
the table with perhaps a statesman, perhaps a poet, somebody of whom the
whole world has heard, at her right hand, penetrating even the society
chatter with a thread of meaning! Evelyn forgot for the moment various
things that would not be so pleasant--that her husband would like to
entertain a lord, but would not probably know much more about him,
however great he might be--that he might be inclined to tell the price
of his wine, and laugh the rich man’s laugh of satisfaction at the
costliness of everything, and the ruin that awaited him in London. These
little imperfections Evelyn was perhaps too sensitive of, but on this
occasion they stole out of her mind. She began to discuss Chester Street
with a gradually growing satisfaction. Or Park Lane? There was a house
in Park Lane--and for a hundred pounds or two of rent, if he liked the
scheme at all, James would not hesitate. She was quite sure of him so
far as that was concerned.
“Chester Street has its advantages,” said Lady Leighton. “It is such a
capital situation; and yet quite modest, no pretension. It is more like
you, Evelyn. So far as Mr. Rowland is concerned, I feel sure, though I
don’t know him, that he would prefer Belgrave Square, and the biggest
rent in London.”
“How do you know that?” said Evelyn with an uneasy laugh.
“Because I know my millionaires,” said Lady Leighton gravely. “But for
the end of the season, and an accidental sort of thing as it will be, I
should not recommend that. Next year if you come up in May, and on quite
_lancé_; but for this year, when you are only feeling your way--Chester
Street, Evelyn! that’s my idea--and a few small parties, quite select,
to meet some Indian man. I don’t want you to have just a common success
like the vulgar rich people. Dear, no! quite a different thing--a
success _d’estime_--a real good foundation for anything you might like
to do after. You might take Marlborough House then--if you could get
it--and stick at nothing.”
“We shall not attempt to get Marlborough House,” said Evelyn, with a
laugh, “nor even anything more moderate. Mr. Rowland does not care for
town. But I confess that you have beguiled me, Madeline, with your
flattering tongue. I think--I should rather like--if he approves of the
idea.”
“My dear, it is surely enough if you approve of the idea. He is not
going to make you a black slave.”
“My husband is sure to approve of what I do,” said Evelyn, with a little
dignity. “But I prefer to consult him all the same. He may have formed
other engagements. It may be necessary to go up to Rosmore at once. But
I confess that I should like--if there is nothing else in the way.”
“And that is all,” cried Lady Leighton, “after all my efforts! Well, if
it must be so, telegraph to him--or at least tell him to answer you by
telegraph: for that house might still be swept up while you are
hesitating. Oh, I know it is rather late for a house to be snapped up.
But when you want a thing it immediately becomes a chance that some one
else will want it too. I shall look for you to-morrow to luncheon,
Evelyn: now, mind that you don’t fail me, and we’ll go out after and
settle about it, and do all that is necessary. Shouldn’t you like now to
go and look at a few more Persian rugs? and that little Chippendale set
you were telling me of? The next best thing to spending money one’s self
is helping one’s friend to do it,” said Lady Leighton. “Indeed, some
people think it is almost more agreeable: for you have the pleasure,
without the pain of paying. Come, Evelyn, and we can finish with a turn
in the Park before dinner. I always like to get as much as possible into
every day.”
It was indeed a necessity with the town lady to get as much as she could
into her day. If she had not gone to choose the rugs on her friend’s
account, she would have had to make for herself some other piece of
business equally important. There was not an hour that had not its
occupation. Looking at the houses had filled the afternoon with bustle
and excitement: and doing all that was necessary, _i.e._, rearranging
all the furniture, covering up the dingy carpets, choosing new curtains,
etc., would furnish delightful “work” for two or three. Lady Leighton
had never an hour that was without its engagement, as she said with a
sigh. She envied her friends who had leisure. She had not a moment to
herself.
And Evelyn wrote a hurried letter to her husband about the Chester
Street house, and the pleasure of staying in town for a week or two, as
she put it vaguely, and introducing him to some of her friends. She even
in her haste mentioned Lord and Lady Leighton, knowing that he had a
little weakness for a title--a thing she was sadly ashamed of when she
came to think. But the best of us are so easily led away.