"But I'm not going to stand for this sort of thing," angrily protested
young Valentine as he shoved the letter at Port Captain Graham of the
Palmetto Line. "The old man may be as good a sailor as you say he is,
but it's high time we set him ashore on a half-pay pension. Why, he's
making our service ridiculous. Read it out to Mr. Holmes."
The Port Captain fidgeted and awkwardly wiped his glasses, for the task
was unwelcome:
DEAR VALENTINE: Congratulations on your decision to mix up in the
business of the old company. It seems a hefty responsibility for
so young a man, but blood will tell. By the way, here is something
for you to investigate while the new broom is sweeping the cobwebs
away. I went South on your _Suwannee_ a month ago, and have the
honor to inform you that her captain is a venerable nuisance, and
loose in his top story. He is a religious crank, clean dippy on
it, held prayer-meetings until half the passengers were driven on
deck, and had a lot of hysterical women flocking around him for
two different services on Sunday. The _Suwannee_ is a gospel ark
in command of a praying skipper, and if only the sanctified are
going to enjoy traveling in her, you will lose a lot of business. I
reckon it's time the line had an overhauling, so good luck to you.
Yours as ever,