Attempt to Rob Ben--How he Became a Minister and Married a Couple--A
Jolly Wedding--French Kate Jealous.
Continuing to recount our hero's adventures while in Babylon, we shall
find that they partook both of a tragic and comical character.
Illustrative of the former, the following may be taken:
Ben was returning to his house on a certain night, after a visit to a
neighboring town. He was obliged to make his way through the mountain
passes, which at best were dangerous places in those days. The night was
densely dark. Black clouds rolled themselves up in the sky, obscuring the
light of the moon and stars. The wind blew in angry gusts, making solemn
music in the branches of the over-arching trees. It was such a night as
best befits deeds of violence and crime.
Alone through the darkness Ben made his way. He had reached a point not
far distant from his house, but in one of the most secluded spots in the
mountains, when suddenly three men, masked, and with revolvers in their
hands, rose up in his path.
To appreciate Ben's position, it must be remembered that he was in a
country where murder was the common recreation of a large number of the
inhabitants. More than this, he carried with him wherever he went large
sums of money, amounting often to three or four thousand dollars. This
fact was well known to the desperate classes who infested the region,
and tended to make Hogan an especially tempting subject for their
villainies.
[Illustration: _FIGHT BETWEEN HOGAN AND DONNELLY NEAR FORT ERIE._]
"Halt!" came in a threatening voice from one of the bandits.
Ben halted.
"Hand over your money without kicking, and you are all right. Make any
show of resistance, and you drop where you stand!"
Ben had no idea of handing over his money, and still less of dropping
where he stood. He took in the position in an instant. He was in the hands
of desperadoes who were fully prepared to put a bullet through his heart
if the occasion demanded it. One man against three made force out of the
question. He must save himself, if at all, by strategy. His ready wit and
perfect self-possession stood him in good stead at that perilous moment.
"Gentlemen," said he, quietly, and without the slightest indication of
fear, "you have got on to the wrong track this time. I haven't money
enough with me to buy drinks for the crowd. But look here. If you want to
make a raise, I can tell you how to do it. Do you hear that sound of
carriage wheels?"
Indistinctly in the distance could be distinguished the rumbling of an
approaching vehicle.
"Yes," said one of the robbers, "we hear it, but what's that to us?"
"I'll tell you," answered Ben, speaking in a low, rapid tone. "That
carriage contains a woman who has been stopping at my place. She came down
from Pittsburgh the other day, with a boodle that would make your mouth
water. She's got five thousand dollars with her, in cash, and diamonds
that are worth as much more. She'll pass here in three minutes. There's
nobody but the driver with her. Don't kill 'em, but just make them come
down with the treasure quietly. Mind, now, I stand in with you on this
job. If it's needed, I'll help you. If not, you must divy, because I've
given you the points. Here comes the carriage now!"
The robbers were thrown completely off their guard. The prospect of making
a ten-thousand dollar haul, proved too dazzling to be resisted.
"It's a go!" said the leader, turning toward the approaching vehicle.
No sooner had the highwaymen turned their attention to their expected
game, than Ben disappeared in the darkness, and ran along the road at the
top of his speed toward his own house. This he reached in safety, leaving
the robbers to grapple with the occupants of the carriage.
It is almost unnecessary to explain that the story which Ben had told was
purely a fiction. It was his quickness of thought, combined with his
nerve, which had saved his life. It might have interested the would-be
robbers to have known that their intended victim carried with him that
night over three thousand dollars in cash.
To offset this somewhat unpleasant adventure, I will recount one of a very
opposite nature.
It so happened that Ben had procured a suit of black broadcloth, which,
together with a white cravat and silk hat, gave him very much the
appearance of a minister. One day he chanced to be standing in the street,
arrayed in this ministerial garb, when a young man, a stranger in
Babylon, came up to him and said:
"Could you tell me, sir, where I could find a German minister?"
Ben eyed the fellow for a minute, and seeing the chance for a good joke,
answered gravely:
"I have the honor to be a clergyman, and I am also a German. What can I do
for you?"
"A friend of mine wants to get married to-night. He lives only a few miles
from here, and he wanted me to come up and get a minister."
"I shall be most happy to officiate," rejoined Ben. "How am I to reach the
house?"
"Well, we can come in for you, or you can drive out yourself. I'll give
you the directions."
He did so accordingly. Hogan promising that he would be there on time.
The prospect of so rich a joke as this promised to be, tempted Ben to
harness up his horse at the appointed hour, and drive to the designated
house. There he found as jolly a company as had ever assembled at a
wedding. He was introduced to them all as the Rev. Mr. Girdler, and
created a most favorable impression, especially among the young women.
When the hour fixed for the ceremony at last arrived, the bride and groom
stood up, side by side, while the Rev. Mr. Girdler, alias Hogan, proceeded
to join them together in the holy bonds of matrimony. He went through the
ceremony as straight as a string, and if he didn't get it exactly as it is
laid down in the books, none of the guests were any the wiser. It may be
said, with perfect safety, that no regularly ordained clergyman ever
kissed a bride more scientifically than did Ben.
The happy groom slipped a ten-dollar bill into Hogan's hand, and then the
company went in for a jolly good time. Wine flowed in abundance, and it
must be confessed that the _pro tempore_ minister drank as freely as any
of the guests, and none of them would have been apt to train under the
Murphy banner.
There was an exceedingly jolly company that quite captivated the
clergyman. I don't know exactly how it came about, but Ben did not get
back to Babylon until the next morning. He found the marriage company so
agreeable that it was really impossible to break away sooner.
Ben's experience had been altogether pleasant. He had made a ten-dollar
note, met with a right jolly crowd, drank all the wine he cared for, and
enjoyed himself to the utmost.
So deeply was he impressed by the bride, that upon reaching home he began
to enlarge upon her beauties to French Kate--who, it will be borne in
mind, was at this time his friend. Ben himself had never known what
jealousy meant, although, as we shall see later, he afterward made the
discovery. On this occasion, however, he was perfectly innocent in his
praises of the young woman.
"She was a beauty, and no mistake," he said, enthusiastically.
"A beauty, was she?" rejoined Kate, her eyes flashing fire.
"She was, as sure as you live," replied Ben, who failed to see that he
was heaping coals of fire upon her inflammable nature. "She had the
prettiest face and the most perfect form I ever saw in any woman."
"And you admire her, do you?" asked Kate, her hands working convulsively.
"Yes, yes; indeed I do admire her," answered Ben, honestly.
That was more than the high-spirited woman before him could stand. With
eyes glistening like a panther's, she made a spring toward the astonished
Hogan, and seizing him by the hair, pulled and mauled him about in a very
frenzy of rage. In vain he tried to find out what he had done to call
forth such an outburst. The infuriated woman wasted no time in answering
questions, but taught Ben a lesson which he probably will never forget.
That lesson was not to praise one woman before another.
So it will be seen that although Ben made a jolly thing out of the
wedding, he was himself a good deal taken in before the adventure was
over.