Yes! I'm off for my holiday. Forty odd pieces
Of luggage, three cabs, and a van, and a 'bus too.
Without counting loose wraps, and umbrellas in creases,
And sweets that my darlings are sucking with gusto.
Yes! I'm off for my holiday--wife in hysterics,
Since nowhere on earth can her poodle be found;
And the nurses and children--ANNES, LILIANS, ERICS--
All screaming, and fussing, and fuming around!
Yes! I'm off for my holiday--Tyneside, or Deeside,
Or Lakes, or that Switzerland English, Hind Head,
Or the thousand monotonies known as "The Seaside"--
Ask not whither my fugitive footsteps are led.
For whatever the place, it is ever the same thing;
Poor Paterfamilias always must suffer.
A dyspeptic, a costly, a lame and a tame thing
Is Holiday-time for a family buffer.
Yes! I'm off for my holiday--where I won't mention;
They are pulling the blinds of my drawing-room down:
But next year--if I live--it's my solemn intention
_To stay, upon business, en garçon, in Town_.
* * * * *
FAIR PROSPECTS OF FINE WEATHER.--No rain on St. Swithin's, and last
week the County of Inverness discarded its MACKINTOSH.
* * * * *
NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS.,
Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no
case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed
Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.