On their way back to the farm-house where they were boarding, Sewell's
wife reproached him for what she called his recklessness. “You had no
right,” she said, “to give the poor boy false hopes. You ought to have
discouraged him--that would have been the most merciful way--if you knew
the poetry was bad. Now, he will go on building all sorts of castles
in the air on your praise, and sooner or later they will come tumbling
about his ears--just to gratify your passion for saying pleasant things
to people.”
“I wish you had a passion for saying pleasant things to me, my dear,”
suggested her husband evasively.
“Oh, a nice time I should have!”
“I don't know about _your_ nice time, but I feel pretty certain of my
own. How do you know--Oh, _do_ get up, you implacable cripple!” he broke
off to the lame mare he was driving, and pulled at the reins.
“Don't saw her mouth!” cried Mrs. Sewell.
“Well, let her get up, then, and I won't. I don't like to saw her
mouth; but I have to do something when you come down on me with your
interminable consequences. I dare say the boy will never think of my
praise again. And besides, as I was saying when this animal interrupted
me with her ill-timed attempts at grazing, how do you know that I knew
the poetry was bad?”
“How? By the sound of your voice. I could tell you were dishonest in the
dark, David.”
“Perhaps the boy knew that I was dishonest too,” suggested Sewell.
“Oh no, he didn't. I could see that he pinned his faith to every
syllable.”
“He used a quantity of pins, then; for I was particularly profuse of
syllables. I find that it requires no end of them to make the worse
appear the better reason to a poet who reads his own verses to you. But
come, now, Lucy, let me off a syllable or two. I--I have a conscience,
you know well enough, and if I thought--But pshaw! I've merely cheered a
lonely hour for the boy, and he'll go back to hoeing potatoes to-morrow,
and that will be the end of it.”
“I _hope_ that will be the end of it,” said Mrs. Sewell, with the
darkling reserve of ladies intimate with the designs of Providence.
“Well,” argued her husband, who was trying to keep the matter from being
serious, “perhaps he may turn out a poet yet. You never can tell where
the lightning is going to strike. He has some idea of rhyme, and some
perception of reason, and--yes, some of the lines _were_ musical. His
general attitude reminded me of Piers Plowman. Didn't he recall Piers
Plowman to you?”
“I'm glad you can console yourself in that way, David,” said his wife
relentlessly.
The mare stopped again, and Sewell looked over his shoulder at the
house, now black in the twilight, on the crest of the low hill across
the hollow behind them. “I declare,” he said, “the loneliness of that
place almost broke my heart. There!” he added, as the faint sickle
gleamed in the sky above the roof, “I've got the new moon right over my
left shoulder for my pains. That's what comes of having a sympathetic
nature.”
* * * * *
The boy was looking at the new moon, across the broken gate which
stopped the largest gap in the tumbled stone wall. He still gripped in
his hand the manuscript which he had been reading to the minister.
“There, Lem,” called his mother's voice from the house, “I guess you've
seen the last of 'em for one while. I'm 'fraid you'll take cold out
there 'n the dew. Come in, child.”
The boy obeyed. “I was looking at the new moon, mother. I saw it over my
right shoulder. Did you hear--hear him,” he asked, in a broken and husky
voice,--“hear how he praised my poetry, mother?”
* * * * *
“Oh, _do_ make her get up, David!” cried Mrs. Sewell. “These mosquitoes
are eating me alive!”
“I will saw her mouth all to the finest sort of kindling-wood, if she
doesn't get up this very instant,” said Sewell, jerking the reins
so wildly that the mare leaped into a galvanic canter, and continued
without further urging for twenty paces. “Of course, Lucy,” he resumed,
profiting by the opportunity for conversation which the mare's temporary
activity afforded, “I should feel myself greatly to blame if I thought I
had gone beyond mere kindness in my treatment of the poor fellow. But at
first I couldn't realise that the stuff was so bad. Their saying that
he read all the books he could get, and was writing every spare moment,
gave me the idea that he _must_ be some sort of literary genius in
the germ, and I listened on and on, expecting every moment that he was
coming to some passage with a little lift or life in it; and when he got
to the end, and hadn't come to it, I couldn't quite pull myself together
to say so. I had gone there so full of the wish to recognise and
encourage, that I couldn't turn about for the other thing. Well! I
shall know another time how to value a rural neighbourhood report of the
existence of a local poet. Usually there is some hardheaded cynic in the
community with native perception enough to enlighten the rest as to the
true value of the phenomenon; but there seems to have been none here. I
ought to have come sooner to see him, and then I could have had a chance
to go again and talk soberly and kindly with him, and show him gently
how much he had mistaken himself. Oh, _get_ up!” By this time the mare
had lapsed again into her habitual absent-mindedness, and was limping
along the dark road with a tendency to come to a full stop, from step to
step. The remorse in the minister's soul was so keen that he could not
use her with the cruelty necessary to rouse her flagging energies; as he
held the reins he flapped his elbows up toward his face, as if they were
wings, and contrived to beat away a few of the mosquitoes with them;
Mrs. Sewell, in silent exasperation, fought them from her with the bough
which she had torn from an overhanging birch-tree.
In the morning they returned to Boston, and Sewell's parish duties began
again; he was rather faithfuller and busier in these than he might have
been if he had not laid so much stress upon duties of all sorts, and
so little upon beliefs. He declared that he envied the ministers of the
good old times who had only to teach their people that they would be
lost if they did not do right; it was much simpler than to make them
understand that they were often to be good for reasons not immediately
connected with their present or future comfort, and that they could not
confidently expect to be lost for any given transgression, or even to be
lost at all. He found it necessary to do his work largely in a personal
way, by meeting and talking with people, and this took up a great deal
of his time, especially after the summer vacation, when he had to get
into relations with them anew, and to help them recover themselves
from the moral lassitude into which people fall during that season of
physical recuperation.
He was occupied with these matters one morning late in October when
a letter came addressed in a handwriting of copybook carefulness, but
showing in every painstaking stroke the writer's want of training,
which, when he read it, filled Sewell with dismay. It was a letter from
Lemuel Barker, whom Sewell remembered, with a pang of self-upbraiding,
as the poor fellow he had visited with his wife the evening before they
left Willoughby Pastures; and it enclosed passages of a long poem which
Barker said he had written since he got the fall work done. The passages
were not submitted for Sewell's criticism, but were offered as examples
of the character of the whole poem, for which the author wished to find
a publisher. They were not without ideas of a didactic and satirical
sort, but they seemed so wanting in literary art beyond a mechanical
facility of versification, that Sewell wondered how the writer should
have mastered the notion of anything so literary as publication, till
he came to that part of the letter in which Barker spoke of their having
had so much sickness in the family that he thought he would try to
do something to help along. The avowal of this meritorious ambition
inflicted another wound upon Sewell's guilty consciousness; but what
made his blood run cold was Barker's proposal to come down to Boston, if
Sewell advised, and find a publisher with Sewell's assistance.
This would never do, and the minister went to his desk with the
intention of despatching a note of prompt and total discouragement.
But in crossing the room from the chair into which he had sunk, with a
cheerful curiosity, to read the letter, he could not help some natural
rebellion against the punishment visited upon him. He could not deny
that he deserved punishment, but he thought that this, to say the least,
was very ill-timed. He had often warned other sinners who came to him
in like resentment that it was this very quality of inopportuneness that
was perhaps the most sanative and divine property of retribution; the
eternal justice fell upon us, he said, at the very moment when we were
least able to bear it, or thought ourselves so; but now in his own case
the clear-sighted prophet cried out and revolted in his heart. It was
Saturday morning, when every minute was precious to him for his sermon,
and it would take him fully an hour to write that letter; it must be
done with the greatest sympathy; he had seen that this poor foolish boy
was very sensitive, and yet it must be done with such thoroughness as to
cut off all hope of anything like literary achievement for him.
At the moment Sewell reached his desk, with a spirit disciplined to the
sacrifice required of it, he heard his wife's step outside his study
door, and he had just time to pull open a drawer, throw the letter into
it, and shut it again before she entered. He did not mean finally to
conceal it from her, but he was willing to give himself breath before he
faced her with the fact that he had received such a letter. Nothing in
its way was more terrible to this good man than the righteousness of
that good woman. In their case, as in that of most other couples who
cherish an ideal of dutiful living, she was the custodian of their
potential virtue, and he was the instrument, often faltering and
imperfect, of its application to circumstances; and without wishing to
spare himself too much, he was sometimes aware that she did not spare
him enough. She worked his moral forces as mercilessly as a woman uses
the physical strength of a man when it is placed at her direction.
“What is the matter, David?” she asked, with a keen glance at the face
he turned upon her over his shoulder.
“Nothing that I wish to talk of at present, my dear,” answered Sewell,
with a boldness that he knew would not avail him if she persisted in
knowing.
“Well, there would be no time if you did,” said his wife. “I'm
dreadfully sorry for you, David, but it's really a case you can't
refuse. Their own minister is taken sick, and it's appointed for this
afternoon at two o'clock, and the poor thing has set her heart upon
having you, and you must go. In fact, I promised you would. I'll see
that you're not disturbed this morning, so that you'll have the whole
forenoon to yourself. But I thought I'd better tell you at once. It's
only a child--a little boy. You won't have to say much.”
“Oh, of course I must go,” answered Sewell, with impatient resignation;
and when his wife left the room, which she did after praising him and
pitying him in a way that was always very sweet to him, he saw that he
must begin his sermon at once, if he meant to get through with it in
time, and must put off all hope of replying to Lemuel Barker till Monday
at least. But he chose quite a different theme from that on which he had
intended to preach. By an immediate inspiration he wrote a sermon on the
text, “The tender mercies of the wicked are cruel,” in which he taught
how great harm could be done by the habit of saying what are called kind
things. He showed that this habit arose not from goodness of heart,
or from the desire to make others happy, but from the wish to spare
one's-self the troublesome duty of formulating the truth so that it
would perform its heavenly office without wounding those whom it was
intended to heal. He warned his hearers that the kind things spoken
from this motive were so many sins committed against the soul of the
flatterer and the soul of him they were intended to flatter; they were
deceits, lies; and he besought all within the sound of his voice to
try to practise with one another an affectionate sincerity, which was
compatible not only with the brotherliness of Christianity, but
the politeness of the world. He enforced his points with many apt
illustrations, and he treated the whole subject with so much fulness and
fervour, that he fell into the error of the literary temperament, and
almost felt that he had atoned for his wrongdoing by the force with
which he had portrayed it.
Mrs. Sewell, who did not always go to her husband's sermons, was at
church that day, and joined him when some ladies who had lingered to
thank him for the excellent lesson he had given them at last left him to
her.
“Really, David,” she said, “I wondered your congregation could keep
their countenances while you were going on. Did you think of that poor
boy up at Willoughby Pastures when you were writing that sermon?”
“Yes, my dear,” replied Sewell gravely; “he was in my mind the whole
time.”
“Well, you were rather hard upon yourself; and I think I was rather too
hard upon you, that time, though I was so vexed with you. But nothing
has come of it, and I suppose there are cases where people are so lost
to common sense that you can't do anything for them by telling them the
truth.”
“But you'd better tell it, all the same,” said Sewell, still in a glow
of righteous warmth from his atonement; and now a sudden temptation to
play with fire seized him. “You wouldn't have excused me if any trouble
had come of it.”
“No, I certainly shouldn't,” said his wife. “But I don't regret it
altogether if it's made you see what danger you run from that tendency
of yours. What in the world made you think of it?”
“Oh, it came into my mind.” said Sewell.
He did not find time to write to Barker the next day, and on recurring
to his letter he saw that there was no danger of his taking another step
without his advice, and he began to postpone it; when he had time he was
not in the mood; he waited for the time and the mood to come together,
and he also waited for the most favourable moment to tell his wife that
he had got that letter from Barker and to ask her advice about answering
it. If it had been really a serious matter, he would have told her at
once; but being the thing it was, he did not know just how to approach
it, after his first concealment. He knew that, to begin with, he would
have to account for his mistake in attempting to keep it from her, and
would have to bear some just upbraiding for this unmanly course, and
would then be miserably led to the distasteful contemplation of the
folly by which he had brought this trouble upon himself. Sewell smiled
to think how much easier it was to make one's peace with one's God
than with one's wife; and before he had brought himself to the point of
answering Barker's letter, there came a busy season in which he forgot
him altogether.