_Where the Author comes in doubt, whether he be a_ Man, _an_ Ape, _or an_
Estridge;[1] _and of the Opinion of the Lunar Philosophers concerning_
Aristotle.
This belief would have taken rooting by being spread, had it not been
for the Learned Men of the Country, who opposed it, saying, That it
was horrid Impiety to believe not only Beasts, but Monsters, to be of
their kind. It would be far more probable, (added the calmer Sort) that
our Domestick Beasts should participate of the privilege of Humanity
and by consequence of Immortality, as being bred in our Country, than
a Monstrous Beast that talks of being born I know not where, in the
Moon; and then observe the difference betwixt us and them. We walk upon
Four Feet, because God would not trust so precious a thing upon weaker
Supporters, and he was afraid least marching otherwise some Mischance
might befall Man; and therefore he took the pains to rest him upon four
Pillars, that he might not fall, but disdaining to have a hand in the
Fabrick of these two Brutes, he left them to the Caprice of Nature, who
not concerning her self with the loss of so small a matter, supported
them only by Two Feet.
"Birds themselves," said they, "have not had so hard measure as they;
for they have got Feathers at least, to supply the weakness of their,
Legs, and to cast themselves in the Air when we pursue them; whereas
Nature, depriving these Monsters of Two Legs, hath disabled them from
scaping our Justice.
"Besides, consider a little how they have the Head raised toward
Heaven; it is because God would punish them with scarcity of all
things, that he hath so placed them; for that supplicant Posture shews
that they complain to Heaven of him that Created them, and that they
beg Permission to make their best of our Leavings. But we, on the
contrary, have the Head bending downwards, to behold the Blessings
whereof we are the Masters, and as if there were nothing in Heaven that
our happy condition needed Envy."
I heard such Discourses, or the like, daily at my Lodge; and at length
they so curbed the minds of the people as to that point, that it was
decreed, That at best I should only pass for a Parrot without Feathers;
for they confirmed those who were already perswaded, in that I had but
two Legs no more than a Bird, which was the cause that I was put into a
Cage by express orders from the Privy Council.
There the Queen's Bird-keeper taking the pains daily to teach me
to Whistle, as they do Stares[2] or Singing-Birds here, I was
really happy in that I wanted not Food; In the mean while, with the
Sonnets[3] the Spectators stunned me [with], I learnt to speak as they
did; so that when I was got to be so much Master of the Idiom as to
express most of my thoughts, I told them the finest of my Conceits.
The Quaintness of my Sayings was already the entertainment of all
Societies, and my Wit was so much esteemed that the Council was obliged
to Publish an Edict, forbidding all People to believe that I was
endowed with Reason; with express Commands to all Persons, of what
Quality or Condition soever, not to imagine but that whatever I did,
though never so wittily, proceeded only from Instinct.
Nevertheless, the decision of what I was, divided the Town into Two
Factions. The party that stood for me encreased daily; and at length
in spight of the _Anathema_, whereby they endeavoured to scare the
multitude: They who held for me, demanded a Convention of the States,
for determining that Controversie. It was long before they could agree
in the Choice of those who should have a Vote; but the Arbitrators
pacified the heat, by making the number of both parties equal, who
ordered that I should be brought unto the Assembly, as I was: But I was
treated there with all imaginable Severity. My Examiners, amongst other
things, put questions of Philosophy to me; I ingenuously told them all
that my Tutor had heretofore taught me, but they easily refuted me by
more convincing Arguments: So that having nothing to answer for my
self, my last refuge was to Principles of _Aristotle_, which stood me
in as little stead, as his Sophisms did; for in two Words, they let me
see the falsity of them.
"That same Aristotle," said they, "whose Learning you brag so much of,
did without doubt accommodate Principles to his Philosophy;[4] instead
of accommodating his Philosophy to Principles; and besides he ought to
have proved them at least to be more rational than those of the other
Sects you mentioned to us: Wherefore the good Man will not take it ill,
we hope, if we bid him God b'w'."
In fine, when they perceived that I did nothing but bawl, that they
were not more knowing than Aristotle, and that I was forbid to
dispute against those who denied his Principles: They all unanimously
concluded, That I was not a Man, but perhaps a kind of _Estridge_,[5]
seeing I carried my Head upright like them, that I walked on two
Legs, and that, in short, but for a little Down, I was every way like
one of them; so that the Bird-keeper was ordered to have me back to
my Cage. I spent my time pretty pleasantly there, for because I had
correctly learned their Language, the whole Court took pleasure to
make me prattle. The Queen's Maids, among the rest, slipt always some
Boon into my Basket, and the gentilest of them all, having conceived
some kindness for me, was so transported with Joy, when in private I
entertained her with the manners and divertisements of the People of
our World, and especially our Bells, and other Instruments of Musick,
that she protested to me, with Tears in her Eyes, That if ever I found
my self in a condition to fly back again to our World, she would follow
me with all her Heart.
[1] Ostrich.
[2] Starlings.
[3] Fr., "sornettes," _nonsense_.
[4] Wrest the facts to fit his theories.
[5] Ostrich.