_The Usual Elderly Lady_ (_who judges every picture solely by
its subject_). "No. 9. Portrait of Mrs. BRYANSTON of Portman. By
GAINSBOROUGH." I don't like that at all. Such a _disagreeable_
expression! I can't think why they exhibit such things. I'm sure
there's no _pleasure_ in looking at them!
_Her Companion_ (_who finds no pleasure in looking at any of them_).
No, I must say I prefer the Academy to these old-fashioned things. I
suppose we can get a cup of _tea_ here, though?
_An Intelligent Person_. "Mrs. BRYANSTON of Portman." Sounds like a
made-up name rather, eh? Portman Square, and all that, y'know!
[Illustration: "My dear fellow, as if it was possible to mistake his
touch!"]
_His Friend_ (_with a touching confidence in the seriousness of the
authorities_). Oh, they wouldn't do that sort of thing _here_!
_A Too-impulsive Enthusiast_. Oh, JOHN, _look_ at that lovely tiger up
there! _Isn't_ the skin marvellously painted, and the eyes so natural
and all! It's a Landseer of _course_!
_John_. Catalogue says STUBBS.
_The Enth._ (_disenchanted_). STUBBS? I never heard of him. But it's
really rather well done.
_The Man who is a bit of a Connoisseur in his way_ (_arriving at a
portrait of Mrs. BILLINGTON_). Not a bad Romney, that.
_His Friend_ (_with Catalogue_). What makes you think it's a Romney?
_The Conn._ My dear fellow, as if it was possible to mistake his
touch. (_Thinks from his friend's expression, that he had better
hedge._) Unless it's a Reynolds. Of course it _might_ be a Sir Joshua,
their manner at one period was very much alike--yes, it might be a
Reynolds, certainly.
_His Friend_. It might be a Holbein--if it didn't happen to be a
Gainsborough.
_The Conn._ (_effecting a masterly retreat_). Didn't I _say_
Gainsborough? Of course that was what I _meant_. Nothing like
Reynolds--nor Romney either. Totally different thing!