It was the day that Farmer Duff waited for all year round: Today was
Family Funday Sunday! The kids came rushing onto the farm as soon as
the gates opened. They fed the goats. They rode the horses. They
watched the pigs roll in the mud and tried to jump in with them. The
rest of the day was spent running away from the goats who were
looking for more food.
When everyone had left, all the animals gathered in the barn to fall
asleep. Just as the last chick had closed its eyes, and everything
was silent, all of a sudden... BOOM! CRRRRACK!
Something fell from the ceiling into a pile of hay. The dog started
barking loudly and the chickens ran in circles, bumping into each
other. Then the something on the floor started moving and dusting
itself off. It had the oddest little vest and a very tall top hat.
(How it had stayed on his head, we'll never know.)
"Please excuse my entrance, all my furry little friends.
Give me just a moment and I'll try to make amends,"
said the something with a hat and vest.
Then he pulled out from his vest an old wooden spoon. He waved it at
the ceiling and said, "TREMENDOUS STUPENDOUS!" And with that, the
roof was fixed, just like new. "Where did you come from?" asked the
sheep. "How'd you'd that!" said the dog.
"I arrived today from Walden where I lived inside their Zoo.
I was raised in Southern France, but I was born in Timbuktu."
About this time the hawk and the blue jay came to see what had made
all the noise. (The hawk never went anywhere without his friend, the
blue jay.) They sat high up on the windowsill and watched below.
"That's all well and good," said the hawk, "But who are you?"
"How rude of me--my name is Ferret R. Fable," he said as he bowed.
Ferret R. Fable adjusted his vest and removed his hat, carefully
placing it in the middle of the floor.
"I've traveled far to bring this here, and leave you all a treat--
My famous stew, like none before, the greatest you will eat!"
And with a wave of his spoon over the large hat, he roared,
"TREMENDOUS STUPENDOUS!"
The hat was magically filled with a stew that smelled delicious to
every single animal in the barn (which is hard to do because the
pigs and the sheep never agree on a meal). One by one the animals
came up to the hat. "I don't think it's wise to eat from this
ferret's magic hat," said the blue jay. "I would find out what's in
that stew before I ate it," said the hawk. But no one listened.
The pigs slopped the stew up. The dog slurped it off the floor. One
goat liked it so much that he gobbled up the ferret's hat, as well.
"It's delicious!" said the horse, "The best I've ever had. It's
...it's...." "TREMENDOUS STUPENDOUS!" cried the dog. "Can you make us
some more?"
"Of course I can, dog, I'm Ferret R. Fable!
I'll bring a new batch as soon as I'm able.
I take credit cards, checks, and cash does just fine,
If you'll stand to my left and please form a straight line."
All the animals looked at each other. "But we have no money," said
the dog. Ferret R. Fable didn't say a word. He just held out his
hand, and the goat coughed up his hat. Then he put the spoon back in
his vest and he walked towards the door.
"But we have food," said the horse in a soft little voice. Ferret
suddenly stopped and scratched at his head.
"For your food," said the ferret, "I'll give you a trade.
I'll share with you all how this stew can be made."
The hawk tried to stop them, "That deal is horrendous!" But it was
too late, "TREMENDOUS STUPENDOUS!"
With a flash, the ferret was gone. He took all the grain, all the
oats, all the apples, all the carrots, all the chickenfeed, and the
slop and the hay. (How he carried it all off, nobody knows.) All
that was left in the barn was a note. The dog picked it up and read
it aloud:
Recipe for Tremendous Stupendous Stew
--1 Part Carrot
--2 Parts Apple
--A bag full of grain
--A bucket of slop
--Some hay and some chickenfeed sprinkled on top
The animals looked around for the ingredients, but there wasn't a
scrap of food left. Realizing what a bad mistake they had made, they
cried themselves to sleep.
The next morning Farmer Duff woke up and saw that all the food was
gone. (How they'd eaten all of the food on the farm in one night, he
couldn't imagine.) He spent the whole afternoon gathering food from
the market. The animals worked all day without anything to eat,
except for the blue jay and hawk who dug for worms. (If you've ever
tried to work on an empty stomach, then you know how terrible that
can be.)
Afterwards, when all the animals were tired and hungry, the farmer
gave them a plate full of the only scraps he could find at the
market. Then the blue jay asked all the exhausted animals, "How does
it taste?" "TREMENDOUS STUPENDOUS!" they happily replied. And they
ate till their bellies were full.