Don't get me wrong, I think my dog is the greatest, but it just so
happens that he's not from this planet.
My parents are part-time astronauts, and one weekend they took a
trip to Neptune (they love it in the summer). Sometimes when they go
to outer space, they bring me back space rocks or plants from Mars
or my favorite dish, Pluto pancakes, but not this time...
When they arrived home from Neptune (after they parked their space
ship in the garage), they had a big cage with them. I had never seen
a creature like what was inside, so I named it after the first thing
it ate: a shoe.
They said that Shoe was the smartest dog on Neptune. He could play
dead, roll over, shuffle cards, cook, and use a computer. BUT, since
I don't speak Neptunian, I couldn't get him to do any of those
things, and I had to start teaching him all over again.
I think that on Neptune dogs must eat human food because Shoe likes
to eat what I'm eating, but he hates his earthly dog food. He's a
lot faster than any of the earth dogs in the neighborhood. He can
beat any of them in a race, but he never rubs it in, because all
Neptunians are good sports.
I think dogs and squirrels are sworn enemies on Neptune because Shoe
is always barking at them. Also, I think that on Neptune, dog bowls
are shaped like toilets because Shoe loves drinking from ours.
Shoe can eat more food than ANYONE on earth ever could. I know this
for certain because my uncle can eat the most food in the entire
world, and Shoe eats more than he does for a snack.
I think that Neptune is as good a place as any to come from, and I'm
glad Shoe is from there. I wouldn't change a single thing about him.
Next weekend my mom and dad are going to Saturn for a barbeque. Shoe
and I are both hoping that they don't bring back a cat.