Someone wrote, "Killing's no Murder."
Nothing well could be absurder!
But to many in our time
Stealing (umbrellas) seems no crime.
Therefore, to a frank plain dealer,
Killing--an umbrella-stealer--
Might be called--by Justice tried--
Justifiable Snobicide!
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[Illustration: "CRAMMING."
_Affectionate Uncle._ "GLAD TO SEE YOU, RUPERT. NOW TELL ME ALL ABOUT
IT. WHAT FORM ARE YOU IN, OLD BOY?"
_Nephew (just returned from Harrow)._ "WELL, UNCLE, NOT SO BAD,
I THINK. I CAN GENERALLY MANAGE A COUPLE OF EGGS, TWO SAUSAGES OR
KIDNEYS, SOME DUNDEE MARMALADE, AND TWO CUPS OF COFFEE FOR BREAKFAST.
I ALWAYS HAVE A LITTLE LUNCHEON, ANY AMOUNT OF ROAST BEEF OR MUTTON
FOR DINNER, AND I GENERALLY LOOK IN AT THE CONFECTIONER'S IN THE
AFTERNOON, AND INVARIABLY WIND UP WITH A GOOD SUPPER. WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THAT?"
[_Disappointed and misunderstood Uncle subsides, and thinks it
best to make no comments._]
]
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