_Which relates a most extraordinary conversation_
In the days which now ensued, while Anthea was busied out of doors and
Miss Priscilla was busied indoors, and Small Porges was diligently
occupied with his lessons,--at such times, Bellew would take his pipe
and go to sit and smoke in company with the Cavalier in the great
picture above the carved chimney-piece.
A right jovial companion, at all times, was this Cavalier, an optimist
he, from the curling feather in his broad-brimmed beaver hat, to the
spurs at his heels. Handsome, gay, and debonair was he, with lips
up-curving to a smile beneath his moustachio, and a quizzical light in
his grey eyes, very like that in Bellew's own. Moreover he wore the
knowing, waggish air of one well versed in all the ways of the world,
and mankind in general, and, (what is infinitely more),--of the Sex
Feminine, in particular. Experienced was he, beyond all doubt, in their
pretty tricks, and foibles, since he had ever been a diligent student of
Feminine Capriciousness when the "Merry Monarch" ruled the land.
Hence, it became customary for Bellew to sit with him, and smoke, and
take counsel of this "preux chevalier" upon the unfortunate turn of
affairs. Whereof ensued many remarkable conversations of which the
following, was one:
BELLEW: No sir,--emphatically I do not agree with you. To be sure, you
may have had more experience than I, in such affairs,--but then, it was
such a very long time ago.
THE CAVALIER: (Interrupting, or seeming to)!!!
BELLEW: Again, I beg to differ from you, women are not the same to-day
as they ever were. Judging by what I have read of the ladies of your
day, and King Charles's court at Whitehall,--I should say--not. At
least, if they are, they act differently, and consequently must
be--er--wooed differently. The methods employed in your day would be
wholly inadequate and quite out of place, in this.
THE CAVALIER: (Shaking his head and smirking,--or seeming to)!!!
BELLEW: Well, I'm willing to bet you anything you like that if you were
to step down out of your frame, change your velvets and laces for
trousers and coat, leave off your great peruke, and wear a derby hat
instead of that picturesque, floppy affair, and try your fortune with
some Twentieth Century damsel, your high-sounding gallantries, and
flattering phrases, would fall singularly flat, and you would be
promptly--turned down, sir.
THE CAVALIER: (Tossing his love-locks,--or seeming to)!!!
BELLEW: The "strong hand," you say? Hum! History tells us that William
the Conqueror wooed his lady with a club, or a battle-axe, or something
of the sort, and she consequently liked him the better for it; which was
all very natural, and proper of course, in her case, seeing that hers
was the day of battle-axes, and things. But then, as I said before,
sir,--the times are sadly changed,--women may still admire strength of
body, and even--occasionally--of mind, but the theory of "Dog, woman,
and walnut tree" is quite obsolete.
THE CAVALIER: (Frowning and shaking his head,--or seeming to)!!!
BELLEW: Ha!--you don't believe me? Well, that is because you are
obsolete, too;--yes sir, as obsolete as your hat, or your boots, or your
long rapier. Now, for instance, suppose I were to ask your advice in my
own case? You know precisely how the matter stands at present, between
Miss Anthea and myself. You also know Miss Anthea personally, since you
have seen her much and often, and have watched her grow from childhood
into--er--glorious womanhood,--I repeat sir glorious womanhood. Thus,
you ought to know, and understand her far better than I,--for I do
confess she is a constant source of bewilderment to me. Now, since you
do know her so well,--what course should you adopt, were you in
my place?
THE CAVALIER: (Smirking more knowingly than ever,--or seeming to)!!!
BELLEW: Preposterous! Quite absurd!--and just what I might have
expected. Carry her off, indeed! No no, we are not living in your bad,
old, glorious days when a maid's "No" was generally taken to mean
"Yes"--or when a lover might swing his reluctant mistress up to his
saddle-bow, and ride off with her, leaving the world far behind. To-day
it is all changed,--sadly changed. Your age was a wild age, a violent
age, but in some respects, perhaps, a rather glorious age. Your advice
is singularly characteristic, and, of course, quite impossible,
alas!--Carry her off, indeed!
Hereupon, Bellew sighed, and turning away, lighted his pipe, which had
gone out, and buried himself in the newspaper.