[_Mate_, an infusion of the prepared leaves of the _Ilex
paraguayensis_, or Brazilian holly, long familiar in South
America, is coming into fashion in London.]
In happy ante-bellum days,
To quote a memorable phrase,
"Whisky and beer, or even wine,
Were good enough for me"--and mine.
But now, in view of heightened taxes
And all that grim MCKENNA axes,
I have religiously tabooed
All alcohol--distilled or brewed.
But "minerals" are now expensive,
And, though the choice may be extensive,
I find them, as my strength is waning,
More effervescent than sustaining.
At cocoa's bland nutritious nibs
My palate obstinately jibs;
And coffee, when I like it best,
Plays utter havoc with my rest.
Tea is a tipple that I love
All non-intoxicants above;
But on its road to lip from cup
All sorts of obstacles crop up.
On patriotic grounds I curb
My preference for the Chinese herb,
But for eupeptic reasons think
The Indian leaf unsafe to drink.
Hence am I driven to essay
_Mate_, the "tea of Paraguay,"
As quaffed by the remote Brazilians,
Peruvians, Argentinians, Chilians.
My doctor, Parry Gorwick, who
Believes in this salubrious brew,
Has promised from its use renewal
Of my depleted vital fuel.
And so I'm bound to try it--still
I wasn't born in far Brazil,
And find it hard on leaves of holly
To grow exuberantly jolly.
* * * * *
A New Reading.
"Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree, after first posing for screen purposes
in California, promises to produce his _Henry VIII._ in New York,
with himself as _Cardinal Richelieu_."
_Munsey's Magazine._
* * * * *
"MR. BIRRELL IN THE DOCK."
_Dublin Evening Mail._
This is quite a mistake. He has only been in the nettles.
* * * * *
"The excitement in the Lobby yesterday was reminiscent of the
Irish crisis, Members remaining to discuss numberless humours
long after they had risen."
_Civil and Military Gazette._
The correspondent who sends us the above extract suggests that the
Members in question must have been Scotsmen.
* * * * *
[Illustration: GETTING THE MASCOT ON PARADE.
"COME ON!"
"GEE UP!"
"NOW, THEN--"
"WE'LL BE LATE--"