Dere Julie:
Skinny and me has at last burgled our way into society. You know
derie, that what I know about the highbrow stuff would fill a book,
and what Skinny don't know would fill a library.
Believe you me derie, you needn't get jelous for I would just as
soon get chummy with a flivver as I would with this bunch of "Janes"
who put us on exhibition, for that was exactly what we wuz in their
eyes--freeks on exhibition.
It happened like this: Lady Blue Jeans Shoddy or some name like that
was givin an afternoon funkshun (I'm quotin from the invite so I can'
tell you what it means derie) fer charity and a lot of our company was
invited to come, admission free--tickets fifty cents. Anyhow it was
a lecture by Lord Somebody for the benefit of Lord knows what; the
nearest I could make out it was a spiel on "Do married men make the
best husbands." I'd like to tell you how I enjoyed the talk--but I
don't use that kind of language; anyhow I'll lay a small peece of
change that this bird knew less about what he was trying to talk about
than you could drive into a turkey gobbler with a peggin' awl. I give
in tho, that he was a brave cuss; anybody who stood up and shot "bull"
like he did for two solid hours, must have been brave. Everytime I
looked at him I thought of that ol saw "Faint heart never kissed the
chamber maid." When he finished everyone in the audience was "out"
exceptin an ol maid who was trying to send him a love message by eye
wireless.
After his batteries went dead on him we was invited to eat. It wuz the
first time I ever eat out in company with Skinny, and believe you me,
Julie, it'll be the last time while I am conscious. I'm not going to
try to tell you of all his breeches of etiket 'twould take too long,
but he pulled one that was a beaut. He kept mixing honey with his
peas; I kep kicking him under the table, and finally I got a chanct to
whisper "What in h---- was he doin that for?" He whispers back "How am
I gonna make 'em stay on my knife if I dont mix 'em with sumpin."
Yours until country bording houses quit using canned vegtabils.