P.S. Skinny sez this means "poor simp" but lissen, derie, fer you it
means pretty sweet.
[Illustration: "Them ticks is the best lil' trench diggers in the
army."]
Friday the thirteenth.
Dere Julie:
A bugler is jest as popular round this camp in the a.m. as a roman
nose in Russia. If "yours truly" ever gets a large bunch of the mazuma
I'm gonna hire a bugler to blow the revelee every morning at 6 under
my window so I can tell him to go to H----. Skinny sed a Jane he asked
to marry him wunce told him to go to the same place; she didn't jest
zactly tell in them words, but sed to go ask her paw. Now Skinny
knowed her "old" man was dead, he also knowed what kind of a life
he'd lead, so Skinny was wise to what she ment when she piped "Ask
dad." If she'd told me that same I would have thought she was flashin
a spiel for Sweet Caps. Skinny says that's repartee, but I think
its RAP-artee. Speakin of Russia, I see by the papers that a new
revolution has busted out there. That God forsaken country reminds me
of a fly wheel on a automobeel--2000 revolutions per minute.
I had a grate peece of luck this a.m. I had three portions of bacon
for breakfast which same happed on account of my bein seated between
a young Jewish feller on one side, and a Catholic feller on the other.
It bein Friday--nuff sed. Don't ever try to tell me again that Friday
the thirteenth is unlucky.
If I was loose from the army, I could make a million dollars in the
umbrella business; its stopped pouring now, but comin in bucket fulls,
and we are looking fur orders from Washington any day to begin to
build a ark.
Last nite after taps me and Skinny wuz arguin about who wuz to blame
for this war. Confidentially Julie, I think it was Theo. Roosevelt. Do
you remember Julie, about ten years ago when Theo. was on a trip round
the world, he called on Bill the Twicer and Bill got out his army and
peeraded them in Theo.'s honor? and Theo. not wantin to be lackin in
perliteness, slapped Bill on the back and sed, "Bill with an army like
that you can lick the world," Member him sayin that Julie? Well he
did, and Bill the Two-spot, was d---- fool enuff to fall fur Theo's
bunk.
Yours 'till the Klown Quince sings the Star Spangled Banner.