THE schoolhouse at Waddy was not in the least like any of the trim State
buildings that now decorate every Victorian township and mark every
mining or agricultural centre that can scrape together two or three
meagre classes; it was the result of a purely local enthusiasm, and was
erected by public subscription shortly after Mr. Joel Ham, B.A., arrived
in the district and let it be understood that he did not intend to go
away again. Having discovered that it was impossible to make anything
else of Mr. Joel Ham, Waddy resolved to make a schoolmaster of him. A
meeting was held in the Drovers' Arms, numerous speeches, all much more
eloquently expressive of the urgent need of convenient scholastic
institutions than the orators imagined, were delivered by representative
men, and a resolution embodying the determination of the residents to
erect a substantial building and install Mr. J. Ham, B.A., as headmaster
was carried unanimously.
The original contributors were not expected to donate money towards the
good cause; they gave labour and material. The work of erection was
commenced next day. Neither plans nor specifications were supplied, and
every contributor was his own architect. Timber of all sorts and shapes
came in from fifty sources. The men of the day shift at the mines worked
at the building in the evening; those on the four-o'clock shift put in an
hour or two in the morning, and mates off the night shift lent a hand at
any time during the day, one man taking up the work where the other left
off. Consequently--and as there was no ruling mind and no general
design--the school when finished seemed to lack continuity, so to speak.
As an architectural effort it displayed evidence of many excellent
intentions, but could not be called a brilliant success as a
whole--although one astute Parliamentary candidate did secure an
overwhelming majority of votes in Waddy after declaring the schoolhouse
to be an ornament to the township. The public-spirited persons who
contributed windows, it was tacitly agreed, were quite justified in
putting in those windows according to the dictates of their own fancy,
even if the result was somewhat bizarre. Jock Summers gave a bell hung in
a small gilded dome, and this was fixed on the roof right in the centre
of the building, mainly for picturesque effect; but as there was no rope
attached and no means of reaching the bell--and it never occurred to
anybody to rectify the deficiency--Jock's gift remained to the end merely
an ornamental adjunct. So also with Sam Brierly's Gothic portico. Sam
expended much time and ingenuity in constructing the portico, and it was
built on to the street end of the schoolhouse, although there was no door
there, the only entrance being at the back.
The building was opened with a tea-fight and a dance, and answered its
purpose very well up to the time of the first heavy rains; then studies
had to be postponed indefinitely, for the floor was a foot under water. A
call was made upon the united strength of the township, and the building
was lifted bodily and set down again on piles. When the open space
between the ground and the floor was boarded up, the residents were
delighted to find that the increased height had given the structure quite
an imposing appearance. Alas! before six months had passed the place was
found to be going over on one side. Waddy watched this failing with
growing uneasiness. When the collapse seemed inevitable, the male adults
were again bidden to an onerous public duty; they rolled up like
patriots, and with a mighty effort pushed the school up into the
perpendicular propping it there with stout stays. That answered
excellently for a time, but eventually the wretched house began to slant
in the opposite direction. Once more the men of Waddy attended in force,
and spent an arduous half-day hoisting it into an upright position, and
securing it there with more stays. It took the eccentric building a long
time to decide upon its next move; then it suddenly lurched forward a
foot or more, and after that slipped an inch or two farther out of plumb
every day. But the ingenuity of Waddy was not exhausted: a few hundred
feet of rope and a winch were borrowed from the Peep o' Day; the rope was
run round the schoolhouse, and the building was promptly hauled back into
shape and fastened down with long timbers running from its sides to a
convenient red-gum stump at the back. Thus it remained for many years,
bulging at the sides, pitching forward, and straining at its tethers like
an eager hound in a leash.
It was literally a humming hot day at Waddy; the pulsing whirr of
invisible locusts filled the whole air with a drowsy hum, and from the
flat at the back of the township, where a few thousand ewes and lambs
were shepherded amongst the quarry holes, came another insistent droning
in a deeper note, like the murmur of distant surf. No one was stirring:
to the right and left along the single thin wavering line of unpainted
weatherworn wooden houses nothing moved but mirage waters flickering in
the hollows of the ironstone road. Equally deserted was the wide stretch
of brown plain, dotted with poppet legs and here and there a whim, across
the dull expanse of which Waddy seemed to peer with stupid eyes.
From within the school were heard alternately, with the regularity of a
mill, the piping of an old cracked voice and the brave chanting of a
childish chorus. Under the school, where the light was dim and the air
was decidedly musty, two small boys were crouched, playing a silent game
of 'stag knife.' Besides being dark and evil-smelling under there, it was
damp; great clammy masses of cobweb hung from the joists and spanned the
spaces between the piles. The place was haunted by strange and fearsome
insects, too, and the moving of the classes above sent showers of dust
down between the cracks in the worn floor. But those boys were satisfied
that they were having a perfectly blissful time, and were serenely happy
in defiance of unpropitious surroundings. They were 'playing the wag,'
and to be playing the wag under any circumstances is a guarantee of pure
felicity to the average healthy boy.
Probably the excessive heat had suggested to Dick Haddon the advisability
of spending the afternoon under the school instead of within the close
crowded room; at any rate he suggested it to Jacker McKnight, commonly
known as Jacker Mack, and now after an hour of it the boys were still
jubilant. The game had to be played with great caution, and conversation
was conducted in whispers when ideas could not be conveyed in dumb show.
All that was going on in the room above was distinctly audible to the
deserters below, and the joy of camping there out of the reach of Joel
Ham, B.A., and beyond all the trials and tribulations of the Higher
Fifth, and hearing other fellows being tested, and hectored, and caned,
was too tremendous for whisperings, and must be expressed in wild
rollings and contortions and convulsive kicking.
'Parrot Cann, will you kindly favour me with a few minutes on the floor?'
It was the old cracked voice, flavoured with an ominous irony. Dick
paused in the middle of a throw with a cocked ear and upturned eyes;
Jacker Mack grinned all across his broad face and winked meaningly. They
heard the shuffling of a pair of heavily shod feet, and then the voice
again.
'Parrot, my man, you are a comedian by instinct, and will probably live
to be an ornament to the theatrical profession; but it is my duty to
repress premature manifestations of your genius. Parrot, hold out!
They heard the swish of the cane and the school master's sarcastic
comments between the strokes.
'Ah-h, that was a beauty! Once more, Parrot, my friend, if you please.
Excellent! Excellent! We will try again. Practice of this kind makes for
perfection, you know, Parrot. Good, good--very good! If you should be
spoiled in the making, Parrot, you will not in your old age ascribe it to
any paltry desire on my part to spare the rod, will you, Parrot?'
'S'help me, I won't, sir!
There was such a world of pathos in the wail with which Parrot replied
that Dick choked in his efforts to repress his emotions. The lads heard
the victim blubbing, and pictured his humorous contortions after every
cut--for Parrot was weirdly and wonderfully gymnastic under
punishment--and Jacker hugged himself and kicked ecstatically, and young
Haddon bowed his forehead in the dirt and drummed with his toes, and gave
expression to his exuberant hilarity in frantic pantomime. The rough and
ready schoolboy is very near to the beginnings; his sense of humour has
not been impaired by over-refinement, but remains somewhat akin to that
of the gentle savage; and although his disposition to laugh at the
misfortunes of his best friends may be deplorable from various points of
view, it has not been without its influence in fashioning those good men
who put on a brave face in the teeth of tribulation.
'Gee-rusalem! ain't Jo got a thirst?' whispered Dick when the spasm had
passed.
'My oath, ain't he!' replied Jacker, 'but he was drunk up afore twelve.'
It is necessary to explain here that the school committee, in electing
Mr. Ham to the position of schoolmaster, compelled him to sign a formal
agreement, drawn up in quaint legal gibberish, in which it was specified
that 'the herein afore-mentioned Joel Ham, B.A.,' was to be limited to a
certain amount of alcoholic refreshment per diem, and McMahon, at the
Drovers' Arms, bound himself over to supply no more than the prescribed
quantity; but it was understood that this galling restriction did not
apply to Mr. Ham on Saturdays and holidays.
The noises above subsided into the usual school drone, and the boys under
the floor resumed their game. It was an extremely interesting game,
closely contested. Each player watched the other's actions with an alert
and suspicious eye, and this want of confidence led directly to the boys'
undoing; for presently Dick detected Jacker in an attempt to deceive, and
signalled 'Down!' with an emphatic gesture. 'Gerrout!' was the word
framed by the lips of the indignant Jacker. Haddon gesticulated an angry
protest, and McKnight's gestures and grimaces were intended to convey a
wish that he might be visited with unspeakable pains and penalties if he
were not an entirely virtuous and grievously misjudged small boy.
'It's a lie,' hissed Dick; 'it was down!
'You're another--it wasn't!
''Twas, I tell you!'
'Twasn't!
'Gimme my knife; I don't play with sharps an' sneaks.'
'Won't!'
Gimme it!
All caution had been forgotten by this time, voices were shrill, and eyes
spoke of battle. Dick made at Jacker with a threatening fist, and Jacker,
with an adroitness for which he was famous, met him with a clip on the
shin from a copper-toed boot. Then the lads grappled and commenced a
vigorous and enthusiastic battle in the dirt and amongst the cobweb
curtains.
In the schoolroom above Joel Ham, startled from a dreamy drowsiness,
heard with wonder fierce voices under his feet, the sounds of blows and
of bumping heads, and saw his scholars all distracted. The master divined
the truth in a very few minutes.
'Cann, Peterson, Moonlight,' he called, 'follow me.'
He selected a favourite cane from the rack, and strutted out with the
curious boys at his heels.
'Now then, Peterson,' he said, and he paused with artful preoccupation to
double his cane over and under, and critically examine the end thereof,
'you are a very observant youth, Peterson; you will tell me how those
boys got under the school.'
'Dunno,' said Peterson, assuming the expression of an aged cow.
The master seized him by the collar.
'Peterson, you have the faculty of divination. I give you till I have
counted ten to exert it. I am counting, Peterson.'
Very often the schoolmaster's language was Greek to the scholars, but his
meaning was never in doubt for a moment.
'Eight, Peterson, nine.'
Peterson slouched along a few yards, and kicked stupidly and resentfully
at a loose board.
'Might 'a' got in there,' he growled. 'Why couldn't you 'a' asked
Moonlight?--he don' mind bein' a sneak.'
But Mr. Ham was down on his knees removing the loose board, and for two
or three minutes after crouched at the opening like a famished yellow cat
at a rat-hole, awaiting his opportunity. Meanwhile the fight under the
school was being prosecuted with unabated fury. Dick and Jacker gripped
like twin bull-terriers, rolling and tumbling about in the confined
space, careless of everything but the important business in hand.
Suddenly Mr. Ham made his spring, and a smart haul brought a leg to
light. Another tug, and a second leg shot forth.
'Pull, boys!' he cried.
Moonlight seized the other limb, and a good tug brought the two boys out
into the open, still fighting enthusiastically and apparently oblivious
of their surroundings. Two soldier ants never fought with greater
determination or with such a whole-souled devotion to the cause. Over and
over they tumbled in the dust, clutching hair, hammering ribs, and
grunting and grasping, blind, deaf, and callous as logs; and Joel Ham
stood above them with the familiar cynical twist on his blotched visage,
twisting his cane and making audible comments, but offering no further
interference.
'After you, my boys--after you. There is no hurry, Haddon, I can wait as
you are so busy. McKnight, your future is assured. The prize ring is your
sphere: there wealth and glory await you. Peterson, you see here how
degraded that boy be comes who forgets those higher principles which it
is my earnest effort to instil into the hearts and minds of the boys of
this depraved township. Cann, my boy, behold how brutalising is
ungoverned instinct.'
But, wearying of the contest, the master made a sudden descent upon
Jacker, and tore him from his enemy's grasp. The effort brought Dick to
his feet, panting and still eager for the fray. He could not see an inch
beyond his nose, and for a few moments moved about fiercely, feeling for
his foe.
'D'you gimme best?' he spluttered. 'If you don't, come on--I ain't done
up!' Then he flung the curtain of cobweb from his eyes, and the situation
flashed upon him in all its grim significance. For a swift moment he
thought of flight, but the master's grip was on his collar.
'Blowed if it ain't Jo,' he murmured in his consternation, and yielded
meekly, like one for whom Fate had proved too strong.
The schoolmaster's white-lashed eyelids blinked rapidly for a second or
so, and he screwed his face into a hard wrinkled grin of gratification.
'Yes, Ginger, my lad,' he said genially, 'Jo, at your service--very much
at your service; and yours, McKnight. We will go inside now, boys. The
sun is painfully hot, and you are fatigued.'
He marched his captives before him into the school room and ranged them
against the wall, under the wide-open wondering eyes of the scholars, by
whom even the most trifling incident of rebellion was always welcomed
with glee as a break in the dull monotony of Joel Ham's peculiar system.
But this was no trifling incident, it was a tremendous outrage and a
delightful mystery; for the boys as they stood there presented to the
amazed classes a strange and amazing spectacle, and were clothed in an
original and, so far as the children were concerned, an inexplicable
disguise. Fighting and tumbling about under the school house, Haddon and
McKnight had gathered much mud, but more cobwebs. In fact, they had wiped
up so many webs that they were covered from head to foot in the clammy
dusty masses. Their hats were lost early in the encounter, and their hair
was full of cobwebs; sticky curtains of cobweb hung about their faces,
and swathed them from top to toe in what looked like a dirty grey fur.
Each boy had cleared his eyes of the thick veil, but so inhuman and
unheard of was their appearance that there was presently a suspicion
amongst the scholars that the master had captured two previously unknown
specimens of the animal kingdom, and consequently further astonishing
developments might be looked for.