Who has not experienced the charm of the first time in his life, when
totally removed from all the accidents of his station, the circumstance
of his fortune, and his other belongings, he has taken his place
amongst perfect strangers, and been estimated by the claims of his own
individuality? Is it not this which gives the almost ecstasy of our
first tour,--our first journey? There are none to say, “Who is this
Potts that gives himself these airs?” “What pretension has he to say
this, or order that?” “What would old Peter say if he saw his son
to-day?” with all the other “What has the world come tos?” and “What are
we to see nexts?” I say it is with a glorious sense of independence that
one sees himself emancipated from all these restraints, and recognizes
his freedom to be that which nature has made him.
As I sat on Lord Keldrum's left,--Father Dyke was on his right,--was I
in any real quality other than I ever am? Was my nature different, my
voice, my manner, my social tone, as I received all the bland attentions
of my courteous host? And yet, in my heart of hearts, I felt that if
it were known to that polite company I was the son of Peter Potts,
'pothecary, all my conversational courage would have failed me. I would
not have dared to assert fifty things I now declared, nor vouched for a
hundred that I as assuredly guaranteed. If I had had to carry about me
traditions of the shop in Mary's Abbey, the laboratory, and the rest of
it, how could I have had the nerve to discuss any of the topics on which
I now pronounced so authoritatively? And yet, these were all accidents
of my existence,--no more me than was the color of _his_ whiskers mine
who vaccinated me for cow-pock. The man Potts was himself through all;
he was neither compounded of senna and salts, nor amalgamated
with sarsaparilla and the acids; but by the cruel laws of a harsh
conventionality it was decreed otherwise, and the trade of the father
descends to the son in every estimate of all he does and says and
thinks. The converse of the proposition I was now to feel in the success
I obtained in this company. I was as the Germans would say, “Der Herr
Potts selbst, nicht nach seinen Begebenheiten”--the man Potts, not the
creature of his belongings.
The man thus freed from his “antecedents,” and owning no “relatives,”
feels like one to whom a great, a most unlimited, credit has been
opened, in matter of opinion. Not reduced to fashion his sentiments by
some supposed standard becoming his station, he roams at will over the
broad prairie of life, enough if he can show cause why he says this or
thinks that, without having to defend himself for his parentage, and the
place he was born in. Little wonder if, with such a sum to my credit,
I drew largely on it; little wonder if I were dogmatical and
demonstrative; little wonder if, when my reason grew wearied with facts,
I reposed on my imagination in fiction.
Be it remembered, however, that I only became what I have set down here
after an excellent dinner, a considerable quantity of champagne, and no
small share of claret, strong-bodied enough to please the priest. From
the moment we sat down to table, I conceived for him a sort of distrust.
He was painfully polite and civil; he had a soft, slippery, Clare
accent; but there was a malicious twinkle in his eye that showed he was
by nature satirical. Perhaps because we were more reading men than the
others that it was we soon found ourselves pitted against each other
in argument, and this not upon one, but upon every possible topic that
turned up. Hammond, I found, also stood by the priest; Oxley was _my_
backer; and his Lordship played umpire. Dyke was a shrewd, sarcastic dog
in his way, but he had no chance with me. How mercilessly I treated his
church!--he pushed me to it,--what an _exposé_ did I make of the
Pope and his government, with all their extortions and cruelties! how
ruthlessly I showed them up as the sworn enemies of all freedom and
enlightenment! The priest never got angry. He was too cunning for that,
and he even laughed at some of my anecdotes, of which I related a great
many.
“Don't be so hard on him, Potts,” whispered my Lord, as the day wore on;
“he 's not one of us, you know!”
This speech put me into a flutter of delight. It was not alone that he
called me Potts, but there was also an acceptance of me as one of
hier own set. We were, in fact, henceforth _nous autres_. Enchanting
recognition, never to be forgotten!
“But what would you do with us?” said Dyke, mildly remonstrating against
some severe measures we of the landed interest might be yet driven to
resort to.
“I don't know,--that is to say,--I have not made up my mind whether it
were better to make a clearance of you altogether, or to bribe you.”
“Bribe us by all means, then!” said he, with a most serious earnestness.
“Ah! but could we rely upon you?” I asked.
“That would greatly depend upon the price.”
“I 'll not haggle about terms, nor I 'm sure would Keldrum,” said I,
nodding over to his Lordship.
“You are only just to me, in that,” said he, smiling.
“That's all fine talking for you fellows who had the luck to be first
on the list, but what are poor devils like Oxley and myself to do?” said
Hammond. “Taxation comes down to second sons.”
“And the 'Times' says that's all right,” added Oxley.
“And I say it's all wrong; and I say more,” I broke in: “I say that of
all the tyrannies of Europe, I know of none like that newspaper. Why,
sir, whose station, I would ask, nowadays, can exempt him from its
impertinent criticisms? Can Keldrum say--can I say--that to-morrow or
next day we shall not be arraigned for this, that, or t'other? I choose,
for instance, to manage my estate,--the property that has been in my
family for centuries,--the acres that have descended to us by grants
as old as Magna Charta. I desire, for reasons that seem sufficient to
myself, to convert arable into grass land. I say to one of my tenant
farmers--it's Hedgeworth--no matter, I shall not mention names, but I
say to him--”
“I know the man,” broke in the priest; “you mean Hedgeworth Davis, of
Mount Davis.”
“No, sir, I do not,” said I, angrily, for I resented this attempt to run
me to earth.
“Hedgeworth! Hedgeworth! It ain't that fellow that was in the Rifles;
the 2d battalion, is it?” said Ozley.
“I repeat,” said I, “that I will mention no names.”
“My mother had some relatives Hedgeworths, they were from Herefordshire.
How odd, Potts, if we should turn out to be connections! You said that
these people were related to you.”
“I hope,” I said angrily, “that I am not bound to give the birth,
parentage, and education of every man whose name I may mention in
conversation. At least, I would protest that I have not prepared myself
for such a demand upon my memory.”
“Of course not, Potts. It would be a test no man could submit to,” said
his Lordship.
“That Hedgeworth, who was in the Rifles, exceeded all the fellows I ever
met in drawing the long bow. There was no country he had not been in, no
army he had not served with; he was related to every celebrated man in
Europe; and, after all, it turned out that his father was an attorney
at Market Harborough, and sub-agent to one of our fellows who had some
property there.” This was said by Hammond, who directed the speech
entirely to me.
“Confound the Hedgeworths, all together,” Ozley broke in. “They have
carried us miles away from what we were talking of.”
This was a sentiment that met my heartiest concurrence, and I nodded
in friendly recognition to the speaker, and drank off my glass to his
health.
“Who can give us a song? I 'll back his reverence here to be a
vocalist,” cried Hammond. And sure enough, Dyke sang one of the national
melodies with great feeling and taste. Ozley followed with something
in less perfect taste, and we all grew very jolly. Then there came a
broiled bone and some devilled kidneys, and a warm brew which Hammond
himself concocted,--a most insidious liquor, which had a strong odor of
lemons, and was compounded, at the same time, of little else than rum
and sugar.
There is an adage that says “in vino Veritas,” which I shrewdly suspect
to be a great fallacy; at least, as regards my own case, I know it to be
totally inapplicable. I am in my sober hours--and I am proud to say that
the exceptions from such are of the rarest--one of the most veracious
of mortals; indeed, in my frank sincerity, I have often given offence
to those who like a courteous hypocrisy better than an ungraceful truth.
Whenever by any chance it has been my ill-fortune to transgress these
limits, there is no bound to my imagination. There is nothing too
extravagant or too vainglorious for me to say of myself. All the strange
incidents of romance that I have read, all the travellers' stories,
newspaper accidents, adventures by sea and land, wonderful coincidences,
unexpected turns of fortune, I adapt to myself, and coolly relate
them as personal experiences. Listeners have afterwards told me that I
possess an amount of consistence, a verisimilitude in these narratives
perfectly marvellous, and only to be accounted for by supposing that
I myself must, for the time being, be the dupe of my own imagination.
Indeed, I am sure such must be the true explanation of this curious
fact. How, in any other mode, explain the rash wagers, absurd and
impossible engagements I have contracted in such moments, backing myself
to leap twenty-three feet on the level sward; to dive in six fathoms
water, and fetch up Heaven knows what of shells and marine curiosities
from the bottom; to ride the most unmanageable of horses; and,
single-handed and unarmed, to fight the fiercest bulldog in England?
Then, as to intellectual feats, what have I not engaged to perform? Sums
of mental arithmetic; whole newspapers committed to memory after one
reading; verse compositions, on any theme, in ten languages; and once a
written contract to compose a whole opera, with all the scores, within
twenty-four hours. To a nature thus strangely constituted, wine was a
perfect magic wand, transforming a poor, weak, distrustful modest man
into a hero; and yet, even with such temptations, my excesses were
extremely rare and unfrequent. Are there many, I would ask, that could
resist the passport to such a dreamland, with only the penalty of a
headache the next morning? Some one would, perhaps, suggest that these
were enjoyments to pay forfeit on. Well, so they were; but I must not
anticipate. And now to my tale.
To Hammond's brew there succeeded one by Oxley, made after an American
receipt, and certainly both fragrant and insinuating; and then came a
concoction made by the priest, which he called “Father Hosey's pride.”
It was made in a bowl, and drunk out of lemon-rinds, ingeniously fitted
into the wine-glasses. I remember no other particulars about it, though
I can call to mind much of the conversation that preceded it. How I gave
a long historical account of my family, that we came originally from
Corsica, the name Potts being a corruption of Pozzo, and that we were
of the same stock as the celebrated diplomatist Pozzo di Borgo. Our
unclaimed estates in the island were of fabulous value, but in asserting
my right to them I should accept thirteen mortal duels, the arrears of
a hundred and odd years un-scored off, in anticipation of which I had
at one time taken lessons from Angelo, in fencing, which led to the
celebrated challenge they might have read in “Galignani,” where I
offered to meet any swordsman in Europe for ten thousand Napoleons,
giving choice of the weapon to my adversary. With a tear to the
memory of the poor French colonel that I killed at Sedan, I turned the
conversation. Being in France, I incidentally mentioned some anecdotes
of military life, and bow I had invented the rifle called after Minié's
name, and, in a moment of good nature, given that excellent fellow my
secret.
“I will say,” said I, “that Minié has shown more gratitude than some
others nearer home, but we 'll talk of rifled cannon another time.”
In an episode about bear-shooting, I mentioned the Emperor of Russia,
poor dear Nicholas, and told how we had once exchanged horses,--mine
being more strong-boned, and a weight-carrier; his a light Caucasian
mare of purest breed, “the dam of that creature you may see below in the
stable now,” said I, carelessly. “'Come and see me one of these
days, Potts,' said he, in parting; 'come and pass a week with me at
Constantinople.' This was the first intimation he had ever given of his
project against Turkey; and when I told it to the Duke of Wellington,
his remark was a muttered 'Strange fellow, Potts,--knows everything!'
though he made no reply to me at the time.”
It was somewhere about this period that the priest began with what
struck me as an attempt to outdo me as a storyteller, an effort I should
have treated with the most contemptuous indifference but for the amount
of attention bestowed on him by the others. Nor was this all, but
actually I perceived that a kind of rivalry was attempted to be
established, so that we were pitted directly against each other. Amongst
the other self-delusions of such moments was the profound conviction
I entertained that I was master of all games of skill and address,
superior to Major A. at whist, and able to give Staunton a pawn and the
move at chess. The priest was just as vainglorious. “He'd like to
see the man who 'd play him a game of 'spoiled five'”--whatever
that was--“or drafts; ay, or, though it was not his pride, a bit of
backgammon.”
“Done, for fifty pounds; double on the gammon!” cried I.
“Fifty fiddlesticks!” cried he; “where would you or I find as many
shillings?”
“What do you mean, sir?” said I, angrily. “Am I to suppose that you
doubt my competence to risk such a comtemptible sum, or is it to your
own inability alone you would testify?”
A very acrimonious dispute followed, of which I have no clear
recollection. I only remember how Hammond was out-and out for the
priest, and Oxley too tipsy to take _my_ part with any efficiency. At
last--Row arranged I can't say--peace was restored, and the next thing
I can recall was listening to Father Dyke giving a long, and of course
a most fabulous, history of a ring that he wore on his second finger.
It was given by the Pretender, he said, to his uncle, the celebrated
Carmelite monk, Lawrence O'Kelly, who for years bad followed the young
prince's fortunes. It was an onyx, with the letters C. E. S. engraved
on it. Keldrum took an immense fancy to it; he protested that everything
that attached to that unhappy family possessed in his eyes an uncommon
interest. “If you have a fancy to take up Potto's wager,” said he,
laughingly, “I'll give you fifty pounds for your signet ring.”
The priest demurred; Hammond interposed; then there was more discussion,
now warm, now jocose. Oxley tried to suggest something, which we all
laughed at. Keldrum placed the backgammon board meanwhile; but I can
give no clear account of what ensued, though I remember that the terms
of our wager were committed to writing by Hammond, and signed by Father
D. and myself, and in the conditions there figured a certain ring,
guaranteed to have belonged to and been worn by his Royal Highness
Charles Edward, and a cream-colored horse, equally guaranteed as the
produce of a Caucasian mare presented by the late Emperor Nicholas to
the present owner. The document was witnessed by all three, Oxley's name
written in two letters, and a flourish. After that, I played, and lost!