"IT WAS INEVITABLE"
I ought to have had a ravenous appetite but I had none at all. I ought
to have been glad and thankful from the depths of my heart, but I was
so depressed that everything I said was forced and unnatural. My head
felt as if it were bursting, and I was enraged with myself and the
wretched result of my bright dream. Indeed I found myself inclined to a
spirit of recklessness and irritation that was wellnigh irresistible.
Miss Warren seemed as wholly free from any morbid, unnatural tendencies
as Mr. Yocomb himself, and she did her utmost to make the hour as
genial as it should have been. At first I imagined that she was trying
to satisfy herself that I had recovered my senses, and that my
unexpected words, spoken in the morning, were the result of a mood that
was as transient as it was abnormal. I think I puzzled her; I certainly
did not understand myself any better than did poor Adah, whose mind
appeared to be in solution from the effects of the lightning, and I
felt that I must be appearing worse than idiotic.
Miss Warren, resolutely bent on banishing every unnatural constraint,
asked Mr. Yocomb:
"How is my genuine friend, Old Plod? Did the lightning wake him up?"
"No, he plods as heavily as ever this morning. Thee only can wake him
up."
"You've no idea what a compliment that is," she said, with a low laugh.
"Old Plod inspires me with a sense of confidence and stability that is
very reassuring in a world full of lightning flashes."
"Yes," I said, "he is safe as a horse-block, and quite as exhilarating.
Give me Dapple."
She looked at me quickly and keenly, and colored slightly. She
evidently had some association in her mind with the old plow-horse that
I did not understand.
"Exhilaration scarcely answers as a steady diet, Mr. Morton."
"Little chance of its lasting long," I replied, "even in a world
overcharged with electricity."
"I prefer calm, steady sunshine to these wild alternations."
"I doubt it; 'calm, steady sunshine' would make the world as dry and
monotonous as a desert."
"That's true, Richard Morton," said Mr. Yocomb. "I like peace and quiet
more than most men, but even if we had all burned up last night, this
part of the world would have been wonderfully the better for the storm.
I reckon it was worth a million or more dollars to the county."
"That's the right way to look at it, Mr. Yocomb," I said carelessly.
"The greatest good to the greatest number. Individuals are of no
account."
"Your philosophy may be true, but I don't like it," Miss Warren
protested. "A woman doesn't generalize."
"Thy philosophy is only half true, Richard Morton. God cares for each
one of His children, and every one in my house counts for much to me."
"There's no getting ahead of thee, mother. If we want to talk heresy,
Richard Morton, we must go off by ourselves."
"I think God showed His love for us in a queer way last night," said
Adah, abruptly.
Both her father and mother looked pained at this speech, and Mrs.
Yocomb said gravely:
"Thee'll see things in the true light some day, I hope. The lightning
bolt may have been a message from Heaven to thee."
"It seems to me that Zillah got more of the message than I did, and she
didn't need any," said the matter-of-fact Adah, "At any rate I hope
Richard Morton may be here if I ever get another message."
"I shall surely be struck next time," I laughed, a trifle bitterly;
"for according to Mrs. Yocomb's view I need a message more than any of
you."
It was evident that neither Adah nor I was in a frame of mind that Mrs.
Yocomb could commend.
"As you suggested, Mr. Morton, if some other tramp from New York had
been present, what a thrilling narrative you could write for your
paper," Miss Warren began. Seemingly she had had enough of clouds the
previous evening, and was bent on clear skies to-night.
She found me incorrigible, however, for I said briefly:
"Oh, no, it would only make an item among the crimes and casualties."
Undaunted, she replied: "And such might have been its appropriate place
had not the doctor arrived so promptly. The casualty had already
occurred, and I'm quite sure you would have finished us all with
original remedies if left to yourself."
"I agree with you, Miss Warren; blunders are worse than crimes, and
I've a genius for them."
"Well, I'm not a genius in any sense of the word. Miss Adah and I look
at things as they are. One would think, Mr. Morton, accepting your view
of yourself, that you could supply your paper with all the crimes and
casualties required, as the result of the genius you claim."
"Stupid blunders would make stupid reading."
"Oh, that column in your paper is very interesting, then?"
"Why shouldn't it be? I've never had the bad taste to publish in it
anything about myself."
"I fail to find any logic in that remark. Have you a conscience, Mr.
Morton?"
"The idea of an editor having a conscience! I doubt whether you have
ever seen New York, Miss Warren, you are so unsophisticated."
"Emily, thee shouldn't be afraid of lightning when thee and Richard
Morton are so ready to flash back and forth at one another."
"My words are only heat lightning, very harmless, and Mr. Morton's
partake of the aurora in character--they are cool and distant."
"I hope they are not so mysterious," I replied.
"Their cause is, quite."
"I think I understand the cause," said Mrs. Yocomb as we rose from the
table; and she came and took my hand. "Richard Morton, thee has fever;
thy hands are hot and thy temples are throbbing."
I saw that Miss Warren was looking at me with an expression that was
full of kind, regretful interest; but with the perversity of a child
that should have been shaken, I replied, recklessly:
"I've taken cold, I fear. I sat on the piazza like an owl last night,
and I learned that an owl would have been equally useful there. I fear
I'm going to be ill, Mrs. Yocomb, and I think I had better make a
precipitate retreat to my den in New York."
"Who'll take care of thee in thy den?" she asked, with a smile that
would have disarmed cynicism itself.
"Oh, they can spare a devil from the office occasionally," I said
carelessly; but I felt that my remark was brutal. In answer to her look
of pained surprise I added, "Pardon me that I used the vile slang of
the shop; I meant one of the boys employed in the printing-rooms. Mrs.
Yocomb, I have now satisfied you that I'm too much of a bear to deserve
any gentler nurse. I truly think I had better return to town at once.
I've never been very ill, and have no idea how to behave. It's already
clear that I wouldn't prove a meek and interesting patient, and I don't
want to lose your good opinion."
"Richard Morton, if thee should leave us now I should feel hurt beyond
measure. Thee's not thyself or thee wouldn't think of it."
"Richard Morton, thee cannot go," said Mr. Yocomb in his hearty way.
"If thee knew mother as I do, thee'd give right in. I don't often put
my foot down, but when I do, it's like old South Mountain there. Ah,
here comes the doctor. Doctor Bates, if thee doesn't prescribe several
weeks of quiet life in this old farmhouse for Friend Morton, I'll start
right off to find a doctor who will."
"Please stay, and I'll gather wild strawberries for thee," said Adah,
in a low tone. She had stolen close to my side, and still had the
wistful, intent look of a child.
"You might do worse," Doctor Bates remarked.
"You'll never make him believe that," laughed Miss Warren, who
evidently believed in tonic treatment and counter-irritants. "He would
much prefer sultry New York and an imp from the printing-rooms."
"Thee may drive Dapple all thee wishes if thee'll only stay," said
Reuben, his round, boyish face shadowed with unwonted anxiety.
We were standing in the hallway, and Zillah heard our talk, for her
little figure came tottering out of the parlor in her trailing wrapper,
and her eyes were full of tears.
"Richard Morton, if thee doesn't stay I'll cry myself sick."
I caught her up in my arms and carried her back to the sofa, and I
whispered in her ear:
"I'll stay, Zillah; I'll do anything for you."
The child clapped her hands gleefully as she exclaimed:
"Now I've got thee. He's promised me to stay, mother."
"Yes," said the physician, after feeling my pulse, "you certainly must,
and you ought to be in bed this moment. Your pulse indicates a very
high fever. What's more, you seem badly run down. I shall put you under
active treatment at once; that is, if you'll trust me."
"Go ahead, doctor," I said, "and get me through one way or the other
before very long. Because these friends are so good and kind is no
reason why I should become a burden to them," and I sank down on the
sofa in the hall.
"Thee'll do us a great wrong if thee ever thinks that, Richard Morton,"
said Mrs. Yocomb earnestly. "Adah, thee see that his room is ready. I'm
going to take thee in hand myself;" and she bustled off to the kitchen.
"You couldn't be in better hands, Mr. Morton," said the physician; "and
Mrs. Yocomb can do more for you than I can. I'll try and help a little,
however, and will prescribe for you after I've seen Zillah;" and he and
Mr. Yocomb went into the parlor, while Reuben, with a triumphant
chuckle, started for the barn.
Now that I was alone for a moment, Miss Warren, who had been standing
in the doorway, and a little aloof, came to me, and her face was full
of trouble as she said hurriedly, in a low tone:
"I fear I'm to blame for this. You'll never know how sorry I am. I _do_
owe you so much! Please get well quickly or I'll--" and she hesitated.
"You are the only one who did not ask me to stay," I said reproachfully.
"I know it; I know, too, that I'd be ill in your place if I could."
"How could I help loving you!" I said impetuously. "There, forgive me,"
I added hastily as I saw her look of pain and almost fright. "Remember
I'm ill, delirious it may be; but whatever happens, also remember that
I said I wouldn't change anything. Were it all to do over again I'd do
the same. It was inevitable: I'm sane enough to know that. You are not
in the least to blame."
She hung on my last words as if I were giving her absolution from a
mortal sin.
"It's all a mistake. Oh, if you but knew how I regret--"
Steps were approaching. I shook my head, with a dreary glimmer of a
smile.
"Good-by," I said in a whisper, and wearily closed my eyes.
Everything soon became very confused. I remembered Mr. Yocomb's helping
me to my room. I saw Adah's intent, wistful look as I tried to thank
her. Mrs. Yocomb's kind, motherly face changed into the features of my
own mother, and then came a long blank.