We had a tedious winter passage, and from the distance spectres seemed
to rise up on the shores of the United States. It is a sad feeling to
be afraid of one’s native country. We arrived in New York safely, and
I hastened to Boston to look after my children. I found Ellen well,
and improving at her school; but Benny was not there to welcome me. He
had been left at a good place to learn a trade, and for several months
every thing worked well. He was liked by the master, and was a favorite
with his fellow-apprentices; but one day they accidentally discovered
a fact they had never before suspected—that he was colored! This at
once transformed him into a different being. Some of the apprentices
were Americans, others American-born Irish; and it was offensive to
their dignity to have a “nigger” among them, after they had been told
that he _was_ a “nigger.” They began by treating him with silent
scorn, and finding that he returned the same, they resorted to insults
and abuse. He was too spirited a boy to stand that, and he went off.
Being desirous to do something to support himself, and having no one
to advise him, he shipped for a whaling voyage. When I received these
tidings I shed many tears, and bitterly reproached myself for having
left him so long. But I had done it for the best, and now all I could
do was to pray to the heavenly Father to guide and protect him.
Not long after my return, I received the following letter from Miss
Emily Flint, now Mrs. Dodge:—
“In this you will recognize the hand of your friend and mistress.
Having heard that you had gone with a family to Europe, I have
waited to hear of your return to write to you. I should have
answered the letter you wrote to me long since, but as I could not
then act independently of my father, I knew there could be nothing
done satisfactory to you. There were persons here who were willing
to buy you and run the risk of getting you. To this I would not
consent. I have always been attached to you, and would not like
to see you the slave of another, or have unkind treatment. I am
married now, and can protect you. My husband expects to move to
Virginia this spring, where we think of settling. I am very anxious
that you should come and live with me. If you are not willing to
come, you may purchase yourself; but I should prefer having you
live with me. If you come, you may, if you like, spend a month with
your grandmother and friends, then come to me in Norfolk, Virginia.
Think this over, and write as soon as possible, and let me know
the conclusion. Hoping that your children are well, I remain your
friend and mistress.”
Of course I did not write to return thanks for this cordial invitation. I
felt insulted to be thought stupid enough to be caught by such professions.
“‘Come up into my parlor,’ said the spider to the fly;
‘’Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy.’”
It was plain that Dr. Flint’s family were apprised of my movements,
since they knew of my voyage to Europe. I expected to have further
trouble from them; but having eluded them thus far, I hoped to be
as successful in future. The money I had earned, I was desirous to
devote to the education of my children, and to secure a home for them.
It seemed not only hard, but unjust, to pay for myself. I could not
possibly regard myself as a piece of property. Moreover, I had worked
many years without wages, and during that time had been obliged to
depend on my grandmother for many comforts in food and clothing. My
children certainly belonged to me; but though Dr. Flint had incurred
no expense for their support, he had received a large sum of money for
them. I knew the law would decide that I was his property, and would
probably still give his daughter a claim to my children; but I regarded
such laws as the regulations of robbers, who had no rights that I was
bound to respect.
The Fugitive Slave Law had not then passed. The judges of Massachusetts
had not then stooped under chains to enter her courts of justice, so
called. I knew my old master was rather skittish of Massachusetts. I
relied on her love of freedom, and felt safe on her soil. I am now
aware that I honored the old Commonwealth beyond her deserts.