3. Through presents in money, from believers
in Bristol, not given anonymously . . . . . . 121 5 2
4. Through presents in money, from believers
not residing in Bristol . . 157 12 2
----
£445 8 8 ½
My brother-in-law, Mr. A. N. Groves, of whom mention has been made in
the first part of this Narrative, as having been helpful to me by his
example when I began my labours in England in 1829, in that he, without
any visible support, and without being connected with any missionary
society, went with his wife and children to Bagdad, as a missionary,
after having given up a lucrative practice of about 1500l. per year,
returned in Autumn 1852, from the East Indies, a third time, being
exceedingly ill. He lived, however, till May 20th, 1853, when, after a
most blessed testimony for the Lord, he fell asleep in Jesus in my
house. I should more fully dwell on this to myself amid my family's
deeply important event, had not a very full biography been published by
the widow of my dear brother-in-law, in which also full particulars are
given of the last days of this servant of Christ. I therefore refer the
reader to the deeply interesting memoir, which has been published at
Nisbet's, London, and may be had at the Bible and Tract Warehouse of
the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad, 84, Park
Street, Bristol, and through all booksellers, under the title: Memoir of
the late Anthony Norris Groves, second edition, with a portrait, cloth,
4s. 6d.; fine paper, cloth, 6s. 6d.
Further account respecting the intended Orphan-House for Seven Hundred
Children, bereaved of both parents by death, from May 26, 1853, to May
26, 1854.
In the last chapter on this subject I stated, that, on May 26, 1853, I
had actually in hand, towards the accomplishment of my object, the sum
of 12,531l. 12s. 0 ¼ d. I will now give some further particulars as to
the manner in which it pleased the Lord to supply me with means, but
must confine myself to those donations which more specially may call for
notice.
June 28, 1853. From Wakefield 40l., with 5l. for Mr. Craik, and 5l. for
my own personal expenses.--Also 220l. from the West of England, of
which the donor kindly wishes me to take 20l. for my own private
expenses, and to use the 200l. as might be most needed. I have taken,
therefore, 100l. for the Building Fund; 60l. for missionary operations,
the circulation of Bibles and Tracts; and 40l. for the Orphans.
July 14. Received 541l. 10s., which being left to me as most needed, I
took 100l. for the current expenses for the Orphans, 100l. for the other
objects, and 341l. 10s. for the Building Fund. Being just now in great
family affliction, this kindness of the Lord has been a great
refreshment to my spirit.
July 15. From Clifton 1s.--Received also 110l. from one who counts it
an honour to have this sum to lay down at the feet of the Lord Jesus. I
took of this amount 60l. for the Building Fund, and 50l. for the
circulation of the Holy Scriptures and Tracts, and for missionary
objects.
I cannot help remarking here, that the Lord has used some of the most
unlikely persons during the past twenty-two years, in providing me with
means for His service. So it was particularly in the case of this
brother in the Lord, from whom I received the last-mentioned donation of
110l. I had not the least natural expectation of receiving this sum,
when this brother, sitting before me at the New Orphan-House, took out
of his pocket a packet of Bank Notes, and gave to me this amount,
reserving to himself, as his whole property in this world, a smaller sum
than he gave to me, because of his joy in the Lord, and because of his
being able to enter into the reality of his possessions in the world to
come. I delight in dwelling upon such an instance, because 1, it shows
that there is grace, much grace, to be found among the saints even now;
2, it shows the variety of instrumentality which the Lord is pleased to
employ, in supplying me with means for His service; and 3, because it so
manifestly proves that we do not wait upon Him in vain, when we make
known our requests to Him for means.
July 20. From Philadelphia, in the United States, 5l.
Aug. 20. From the neighbourhood of Mallow in Ireland 17s. 6d, and 2s.
6d.--Anonymously from a "Brother Christian and Well-wisher," through
his bankers in London, 100l.
Aug. 27. From Caistor 5s.--From Gumeracka, near Adelaide, Australia,
2l. 10s. From the same place 10s.--From Cheltenham 2s. 6d.--From
Frampton-on-Severn seven silver coins.
You see, esteemed reader, how much variety there is in the kind of
donations as well as in the amount, the places whence they are sent, and
the friends who send them. But all these donations come from the living
God. All come to us in answer to prayer, and are received by us as
answers to prayer; and with every donation, however small, we receive
thins a fresh encouragement, to continue in prayer, and have, as it
were, another earnest from our Heavenly Father, that at last He not only
will give larger sums, but the whole amount which is needed for the
Building Fund. Every one of these donations comes unsolicited. Ever
since the Orphan Work has been in operation, we have never asked any one
for anything. Be therefore, dear reader, encouraged by this, to make
trial for yourself, to prove the power of prayer, if you have never done
so before.
Dec. 31. This is the last day of another year. Two years and a half I
have new been day by day seeking the Lord's help in player for this
object. He has also been pleased to give us many proofs, that He is
remembering our requests, still as yet I have only 13,670l. 11s. 7 ¾ d.
in hand. Considerably more than double this sum will be needed. But, by
the grace of God, I am not discouraged. The Lord is able and willing to
help us. This is my comfort. In His own time the Almighty God will
manifest His power. In the meantime I desire to continue to wait upon
Him, and to receive every fresh donation, however small, as an earnest,
that in His own time He not only will give larger sums, but the whole
amount needed for this object.
Jan. 17, 1854. This day I received the promise, that there should be
paid to me, for the work of the Lord in my hands, 5,207l., to be
disposed of as I might consider best.
This large donation was shortly after paid to me, and was portioned out
thus: For the Building Fund 3000l.; for the support of the 300 Orphans
707l.; for foreign missions 500l.; for labourers in the Word in England,
Ireland and Scotland 500l.; for the gratuitous circulation of the Holy
Scriptures among the poor 200l.; for the gratuitous circulation of
Gospel Tracts 200l.; and for the various schools, supported or assisted
by the Funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, 100l.
Behold, esteemed reader, the goodness of God! Behold also the
recompense, which sooner or hater, the Lord gives to His children, who
wait upon Him and trust in Him Often it may appear that we wait upon the
Lord in vain; but, in His own time God will abundantly prove, that it
was not in vain. Go on therefore, Christian reader, to wait upon the
Lord. Continue to make known your requests to Him; but do also expect
help from Him. You honour God, by believing that He does hear your
prayers, and that He will answer them.
The joy which such answers to prayer give, cannot be described; and the
impetus which they thus afford to the spiritual life is exceedingly
great. The experience of this happiness I desire for all my Christian
readers. Nor is there anything to hinder any believer from having these
joys. If you believe indeed in the Lord Jesus for the salvation of your
soul, if you walk uprightly and do not regard iniquity in your heart, if
you continue to wait patiently, and believingly upon God; then answers
will surely be given to your prayers. You may not be called upon to
serve the Lord in the way the writer does, and therefore may never have
answers to prayer respecting such things as are recorded here; but in
your various circumstances, as to your family, your business, your
profession, your church position, your labour for the Lord inn army way,
you may have answers as distinct as any here recorded.
Should this, however, be read by any who are not believers in the Lord
Jesus, but any who are going on in the carelessness or
self-righteousness of their unrenewed hearts, then I would
affectionately and solemnly beseech such, first of all to be reconciled
to God by faith in the Lord Jesus. You are sinners. You deserve
punishment. If you do not see this, ask God to show it unto you. Let
this now be your first and especial prayer. Ask Him also to enlighten
you not merely concerning your state by nature, but especially to reveal
the Lord Jesus to your hearts. God sent Him, that He might bear the
punishment, due to us guilty sinners. God accepts the obedience and
sufferings of the Lord Jesus, in the room of those who depend upon Him
for the salvation of their souls; and the moment a sinner believes in
the Lord Jesus, he obtains the forgiveness of all his sins. When thus he
is reconciled to God, by faith in the Lord Jesus, and has obtained the
forgiveness of his sins, he has boldness to enter into the presence of
God, to make known his requests unto God; and the more he is enabled to
realize, that his sins are forgiven, and that God, for Christ's sake,
is well pleased with those who believe on Him, the more ready he will be
to come with all his wants, both temporal and spiritual, to his Heavenly
Father, that He may supply them. But as long as the consciousness of
unpardoned guilt remains, so long shall we be kept at a distance from
God, and especially also as it regards prayer. Therefore, dear reader,
if you are an unforgiven sinner, let your first and especial subject of
your prayer be, that God would be pleased to reveal to your heart the
Lord Jesus, His beloved Son.
March 5. To day it is twenty years since the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution for Home and Abroad made its beginning. When I look back
upon that day, with reference to this work, I desire with gratitude to
exclaim, What has God wrought! His name be magnified for it! I desire to
take courage from all His former goodness, and to go on in His service.
March 6. Received 131l. 1s. 3d., which being left at my disposal, I took
31l. 1s. 3d. for the Building Fund, and 100l. for the support of the
Orphans.--Through Bethesda boxes, as a thank-offering for the mercies
of the past month, 2s. 6d.
April 22. From London, six knives, nine silver forks, three silver table
spoons, three silver dessert spoons, three silver tea spoons, one silver
salt spoon, a silver pencil case, three penholders, one mounted in
silver and two in gold, and a penknife.
May. 3. Anonymously, through banker's in London, 100l.--May 8.
Through Bethesda homes, 2s. 6d., as "A thank-offering to the Lord for
the mercies of the past month."
Month after month, for some time past, 2s. 6d. has been given as "A
thank-offering for the mercies of the past month," I am delighted with
this. Not yearly only may the saints bring their offerings to the Lord,
as He may have prospered them, but monthly. Yea the Holy Ghost, by the
Apostle Paul, gives this exhortation to the believers of the Church at
Corinth, concerning offerings for the poor saints; "Upon the first day
of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as God hath
prospered him." I Cor. xvi. 2. As the Lord had prospered them, so were
they not merely yearly, or monthly, but even weekly to contribute to the
support of the poor. We are strangers and pilgrims on the earth. The
time of our pilgrimage here is very uncertain. The opportunities which
the Lord gives us for His service are therefore readily to be embraced.
All here below is most uncertain. How long we may have the opportunity
to work for the Lord, who can tell? Therefore the present hour is to be
used with all our might. As an encouragement for all this, we have to
look to the return of our Lord Jesus.
May 26. 82l. 18s. 4d., being the proceeds arising from the sale of a
work published in English, and 14s. 3d., from the sale of a work
published in French, were given for the Building Fund.
Thus closes the period from May 26, 1853, to May 26, 1854. The whole
income for this object during the year was 5,285l. 7s. 5d., which,
together with the 12,531l. 12s. 0 ¼ d. in hand on May 26, 1853, made
the total of 17,816l. 12s. 5 ¼ d. in hand on May 26, 1854.
I add the following remarks, with reference to the intended Orphan House
for 700 Orphans, which appeared in the Report for 1854, and which are
here reprinted.
A. During this year the current expenses, for the various Objects of the
Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad, amounted to
7,507l. 0s. 11 ½ d., being 471l. 8s, 11d. more than during any previous
year; yet the Lord not only enabled me to meet them all, but to add the
sum of 5,285l. 7s, 5d. to the Building Fund.
B. There is yet a large sum required, before I shall be enabled to build
another house for 700 Orphans; nor have I now, any more than at the
first, any natural prospect of obtaining what is yet needed; but my hope
is in the living God. When I came to the conclusion that it was the will
of God I should build another Orphan House, I had not only no natural
prospect of obtaining the 35,000l. which would be needed for thus
object, but also no natural prospect of being able to provide for the
necessities of the 300 Orphans already under my care. Three years have
elapsed since then, and I have had all I needed for them, amounting to
about 10,500l., and 17,816l. 19s. 5 ¼ d. I have received for the
Building Fund. May I not well trust in the Lord, for what is yet needed
for the Building Fund? By His grace I will do so, and delight in doing
so; for I know that at last all my prayers will be turned into praises
concerning this part of the service.
C. There is one point which is particularly an encouragement to me, to
go on waiting upon the Lord for the remainder of the means, which are
required, viz.: applications for the admission of Orphans continue to be
made. On May 26, 1858, there were 480 Orphans waiting for admission.
Since then 181 more have been applied for, making in all 661. Of these,
however, thirty have been admitted during the past year into the New
Orphan-House, and twenty-nine have been otherwise provided for, so that
there are actually 602 waiting for admission. These children are from
three months old and upwards, and all bereaved of both parents by
death.
Supplies for the School , Bible, Missionary and Tract fund, sent
in answer to prayer, from May 26, 1853, to May 26, 1854.
On May 26, 1853, there was left in hand for these objects a balance of
67l. 17s. 7 ¾ d.
June 13. When I had very little in hand, comparatively, there being
about 30l. left, as little only had come in since May 26th, I received a
donation of 301l., of which I took 201l. for the support of the Orphans,
and 100l. for these objects. How much is there needed, to go on with all
these various objects, and to press into every open door, which the Lord
may set before me! How kind, therefore, of Him, to have sent me this
sum!
July 14. Only about 150l. had come in for these objects since June 18.
But though I had not much in hand, I sent out 65l. on the 11th, three
days since, for missionary objects, being assured that the sowing would
bring the reaping. On the very next day, July 12th, I received from
Chelsea 5l. and also 10s. From the north of Devon 10l. Anonymously 5l.
From Norwich, for foreign missions, 5l. The day after that, July 13th, I
received from the neighbourhood of Leeds 10l., and from Oakhill 1s. Now
today I received the 541l. 10s., spoken of under the Building Fund, of
which I took for these objects 100l.
July 15. Today the Lord has been pleased to give still more. I have
received 20l. for the Schools and 50l. for these various objects.
Sept. 15. During the last two days I sent out 85l. to brethren who
labour in the Word at home and abroad; and during the first half of this
month have already sent to them 174l. During the last two days, whilst
sending out almost the last pound in hand for missionary objects, I felt
quite comfortable in doing so, and said to myself: "The Lord can give mc
more." So it has been. This morning I have received from Weston Super
Mare, in a registered letter, 100l. with these words: "The enclosed
100l. for missionaries to the heathen, from H. E. H., Western Super
Mare, Sept, 14th." This is particularly refreshing to me, as I desired
still to send out during this month about 200l. to other brethren.
Oct. 15. During the last six weeks little only, comparatively, has been
received for these objects; but I have sent out much for missionary
objects, and for the circulation of the Holy Scriptures and Tracts. Thus
the funds for these various objects were this morning reduced to 29l.
15s. 6 ¼ d. Yet my heart desired to send out, before the close of this
month, a considerable amount to preachers of the Gospel, and to spend
further sums on the circulation of the Holy Scriptures and Gospel
Tracts. This my desire has been in a measure already granted, for I
received this morning 192l. 1s. Of this sum I took 100l. for these
objects, and the remainder for the current expenses for the Orphans. The
Lord be magnified for this kindness! There was also much need for fresh
supplies for the Orphans, when this donation was received. With more
than usual exercise of faith and patience have I had to wait upon God
for the last four weeks, during which time the income has been very
little and the outgoing very great.
Dec. 8. Today I received three autographs of King William IV., one of
Sir Robert Peel, and two of Lord Melbourne (with six postage stamps), to
be sold for the funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.--See
what a variety of donations the Lord sends us for the support of the
work!
Dec. 11. For several years I have not been so poor for these objects, as
during the last six weeks. Day by day have I besought the Lord for more
means, and almost daily has He also sent in something; yet the income
has not been adequate to help the 56 brethren, whom I seek to assist as
preachers of the Word at home and abroad, in the measure I have desired.
I had reason to believe, that several were in need, but I had nothing to
send to them, and could only labour on in prayer, finding relief in the
knowledge that God could help them irrespective of my instrumentality,
and make this their trial of faith and patience a blessing to their
souls, even as I have found this season profitable to myself. But now at
the last the Lord has refreshed my spirit exceedingly, by a donation of
300l., left at my disposal; of which I have taken 150l. for these
objects, and 150l. for the Orphans, for whom also fresh supplies were
greatly needed, so much so, that we had not once been so poor since the
New Orphan-House was first opened.
Jan. 17, 1854. Received from an anonymous donor, through London bankers,
a Bank Post Bill for 50l. "for general purposes." I took of this amount
one half for these various objects, and the other half for the benefit
of the Orphans. This donation came at a time of great need.
But the Lord helped me still mere bountifully; for I received also, on
that day, the promise of the donation of 5,207l., spoken of already
under the Building Fund, and of which donation I took for these objects
altogether 1,500l. whereby I was so abundantly helped, that, with what
the Lord was pleased to send in besides for these objects, up to May 26,
1854, I was enabled to meet all their many and heavy expenses.
The following circumstance is so remarkable, that I give it at full
length as an illustration of the various ways, and the remarkable
manner, in which the Lord is pleased, in answer to prayer, to supply me
with means.
On Aug. 9th, 1853, I received a letter, from a Christian brother,
accompanied by an order for 88l. 2s. 6d. on his bankers, of which 3l.
2s, 6d. were the proceeds of an Orphan-Box in a meeting place of
believers, and 85l. from a poor widow, who had sold her little house,
being all her property, and who had put 90l., the total amount she had
received, into that Orphan-Box two months before, on June 9, 1853. In
this box the money remained till it was opened, and then the 90l., with
a few lines, without name, were found in it. As, however, the fact of
her intending to sell the house, and sending me the money, for the
Lord's work, had been known to the brother, who sent me the money, he
did not feel free to send it to me, without remonstrating with her
through two brethren, whom he sent with the money, offering it again to
her; for he knew her to be very poor, and feared that this might be an
act of excitement, and therefore be regretted afterwards. These brethren
could not prevail on her to receive back the money, but they did
persuade her to receive back 5l. of the amount, and then the brother,
referred to, felt no longer free to keep the money from me, but sent me
the 85l.
On the receipt of this I wrote at once to the poor Godly widow, offering
her the traveling expenses for coming to Bristol, that I might have
personal intercourse with her; for I feared lest this should be an act
of excitement, and the more so, as she had received back 5l. of the sum.
This sister in the Lord, a widow of about 60 years of age, came to
Bristol, and told me in all simplicity how ten years before, in the year
1843, she had purposed that, if ever she should come into the possession
of the little house in which she lived with her husband, she would sell
it, and give the proceeds to the Lord. About five years afterwards her
husband died, and she, having no children, nor any particular claim upon
her, then sought to dispose of her little property. However one
difficulty after the other prevented her being able to effect a sale. At
last she felt in particular difficulty on account of her inability to
pay the yearly ground rent of the house and garden, and she asked the
Lord to enable her to sell the property, in order that she might be able
to carry out her desire, which she had had for ten years. He now helped
her; the house was sold, the money paid, and she put the whole 90l. into
the Orphan Box for me, being assured that the Lord would direct me how
best the money might be used for Him.--I still questioned her again
and again to find out, whether it was not excitement which had led her
to act as she had done; but I not only saw that her mind had been fully
decided about this act for ten years before, but that she was also able
to answer from the word of God all the objections which I purposely
made, in order to probe her, whether she had intelligently and from
right motives acted in what she had done. At last, being fully satisfied
that it was not from impulse nor under excitement that she had given the
money, I stated to her something like this: "You are poor, about sixty
years old, and therefore decreasing in strength, may you not therefore
keep this money for yourself?" Her reply was: "God has always provided
for me, and I have no doubt He will do so in future also. I am able to
work and to earn my bread as well as others, and am willing to work as a
nurse, or in any other way." What could I say against this? This was
just what a child of God would say, and should say.--But the greatest
of all the difficulties about accepting the 85l. remained in my mind. It
was this. The house had been sold for 90l. The whole amount had been put
into the box, but, on the persuasion of the two brethren who were
requested to remonstrate with this widow, she had been induced to take
back 5l. out of the 90l. I therefore said to myself, might she not be
willing, after a time, to take back the whole 90l., how therefore can I
feel happy in accepting this money. On this account I particularly laid
stress upon this point, and now learned the circumstances under which
she had been induced to take back this 5l.
The two brethren who had called for the purpose of pointing out the
propriety of receiving back again the 90l., or part of it, told her that
Barnabas sold his land, but afterwards lived with others on that which
he and others had thrown into the common stock, and that therefore she
might receive at least part of the 90l. back again, if she would not
take the whole. She then said to herself that, "as a child of God she
might take the children's portion," and, as she had given to God this
90l., she might receive 5l. back again. She told me, that she considered
the brethren had shown her from the Holy Scriptures what she might do,
and therefore she had taken this 5l. I did not myself agree with the
judgment of those brethren who had said this (as there is no evidence
that Barnabas ever was supported out of the common stock, the proceeds
of the sale of houses and lands, out of which the poor were supported);
but I purposely said nothing to the widow, lest she should at once be
induced to give me this 5l. also. She had, however, this 5l. untouched,
and showed it to me; and before leaving she would make me take 1l. of it
for the benefit of the Orphans, which I did not refuse, as I had no
intention to keep the 85l. She also gave me a sixpence for the Orphans,
which some one had given her for herself, a few days before.
I now asked her, as this matter concerning the remaining of the 5l. was
satisfactorily explained, as far as it respected her own state of heart,
what she wished me to do with the money, in case I saw it right to keep
it. Her reply was, that she would leave that with me, and God would
direct me concerning it; but that, if she said any thing at all, she
should most like it to be used for the support of brethren who labour in
the Word without salary, and who hazard their lives for the name of
Christ. She wished me to have a part of the money; but this I flatly
refused, lest I should be evil spoken of in this matter. I then offered
to pay her traveling expenses, as she had come to me, which she would
not accept, as she did not stand in need of it. In conclusion I told
her, that I would now further pray respecting this matter, and consider
what to do concerning it. I then prayed with this dear Godly woman,
commended her to God, separated from her, and have not seen her since.
I waited from Aug. 9, 1853, to March 7, 1854, when I wrote to her,
offering her back again the whole 85l., or a part of it. On March 9,
1854, just seven months after I had received the money, amid just nine
months after she had actually given it, and ten years and nine months
after she had made the resolution to give her house and garden to God, I
heard from her, stating that she was of the same mind as she had been
for years. I, therefore, disposed of the money, to aid such foreign
missionary brethren as, according to the best my knowledge resembled
most the class of men whom she wished to assist.
The reasons, why I have so minutely dwelt upon this circumstance, are:
1, If, as a steward of the bounties of the children of God, I should be
blamed for receiving from a poor widow almost literally her all, it may
be seen in what manner I did so. To have refused, on March 9, 1854, also
would be going beyond what I should be warranted to do. 2, I desired
also to give a practical illustration, that I only desire donations in
God's way. It is not the money only, I desire; but money received, in
answer to prayer, in God's order. 3, This circumstance illustrates how
God helps me often in the most unexpected manner. 4, I have also related
this instance, as a fresh proof, that even in these last days the love
of Christ is of constraining power, and may work mightily, as in the
days of the Apostles. I have witnessed many such instances as this,
during the twenty years I have been occupied in this my service. Let us
give thanks to God for such cases, and seek for grace rather to imitate
such Godly men and women than think that they are going too far.
I cannot, however, dismiss this subject, without commending this poor
widow to the prayers of all who love our Lord Jesus, that she may be
kept humble, lest, thinking highly of herself, on account of what she
has been enabled to do, by the grace of God, she should not only lose
blessing in her own soul, but this circumstance should become a snare to
her. Pray also, believing Reader, that she may never be allowed to
regret what she has done for the Lord.
May 23. Yesterday I looked over the list of the 56 labourers in the
Word, whom I seek to assist, in order to see to whom it would be
desirable to send help; and, having drawn out a list, with the
respective amounts for each, I found that it would be desirable to send
out this week 327l., but I wanted at least 50l. more, to be able to
accomplish this. Accordingly I gave myself to prayer, if it might please
the Lord to send me the means. And now, this morning, in answer to
prayer, I received anonymously from bankers in London 100l., which the
donor desired to be applied for the current expenses for the Orphans,
and for labourers in the Gospel at Home and Abroad. I took therefore
50l. for the Orphans, and 50l. for home and foreign labourers.
By the same post I received also from the neighbourhood of Shrewsbury
10l., the disposal of which being left to me, I took for missionary
objects.--I have now the desire of my heart granted, being able to
send out the full amount of what it yesterday appeared to me desirable
that I should send to the brethren whom I seek to help.
Means for the support of the 300 Orphans, already under our care, sent
in answer to prayer, from May 26, 1853, to May 26, 1854.
At the commencement of this period, there was in hand the balance of
117l. 10s. 9d. This was the visible support, in the way of pecuniary
means, which we had to look to for 320 inmates in the New Orphan House,
whilst often two or three days might call for such an amount as this.
But we hoped in God, as in former years, and, by His grace, were upheld,
and our faith was not allowed to fail, though it was not a little tried,
as the following pages will show.
Of the donations which came in between May 26, and June. 13, 1853, I
will only mention the following. On June 1st I received from Cape Town
2l. for the Orphans, and 3l. for tracts. On June 8th I received from
Rhode Island, United States, 20 dollars and 5 dollars (4l. 15s. 9d.
English), when I had scarcely anything left for the Orphans. Observe,
dear Reader, from Africa and from America the Lord sends help to us,
yea from almost all parts of the world. Thus is He saying to us more and
more; "Only believe." On June 10th I received 5l. from a brother in the
Lord at a distance, as a thank-offering to God, that, having been thrown
from his horse, he had not been killed, but only greatly hurt.
June. 13. We were now very poor. Not indeed in debt, nor was even all
the money gone; for there was still about 12l. in hand; but then there
needed to be bought flour, of which we buy generally 10 sacks at a tine,
300 stones of oatmeal, 4 cwt. of soap, and there were many little
repairs going on in the house, with a number of workmen, besides the
regular current expenses of about 70l. per week. Over and above all
this, on Saturday, the day before yesterday, I found that the heating
apparatus needed to be repaired, which would cost in all probability
25l. It was therefore desirable, humanly speaking, to have 100l. for
these heavy extra expenses, besides means for the current expenses. But
I had no human prospect whatever of getting even 100 Pence, much less
100l. In addition to this, today was Monday, when generally the income
is little. But, in walking to the Orphan House this morning, and praying
as I went, I particularly told the Lord in prayer, that on this day,
though Monday, He could send me much. And thus it was. I received this
morning 301l. for the Lord's service, as might be most needed.--The
joy which I had cannot be described. I walked up and down in my room for
a long time, tears of joy and gratitude to the Lord running plentifully
over my cheeks, praising and magnifying the Lord for His goodness, and
surrendering myself afresh, with all my heart, to Him for His blessed
service. I scarcely ever felt more the kindness of the Lord in helping
me.--I took of this money 201l., for the current expenses for the
Orphans, and 100l. for missionary objects, the circulation of the Holy
Scriptures and Gospel Tracts, and for the various Schools.
Of the donations which came in between June 13th and Aug. 31st,
amounting to more than 600l., I will only mention: 50l., through a most
unexpected circumstance, from Glasgow, on June 29th. 2l. from Sunderland
on July 23rd, of which 1l was made up, by an individual putting by one
half-penny daily for the Orphans, and a poor widow one penny per week.
On Aug. 19th I received from a Christian Negro in Demerara an old
silver watch, a gold pin and brooch, and Five Dollars.
Aug. 31. When there was less than 20l. in, hand, I received today a
donation of 220l., of which the donor kindly wished me to take 20l. for
my own personal expenses, and to use the other for the work of the Lord
as most needed. I therefore took 150l. for the Orphans, and 50l. for the
other objects, and was thus enabled to advance today 30l., as usual, for
the house-keeping expenses; money being called for, which, otherwise, I
should not have been able to supply.
Of the donations received between Aug. 31st and Oct. 24th, amounting to
about 550l., I only notice 2l. 7s. 6d. "From South Africa," 1l. from
Malta, and 6s. 4d. from Demerara.
I will now minutely relate the Lord's dealings with us, with reference
to meeting the expenses for the 300 Orphans, for about three weeks, as a
specimen of how the Lord was pleased to help us during a period when the
flour was twice as dear as for several years before, and when other
expenses were much greater than usual.
Oct. 24. This afternoon I was called on to advance more house-keeping
money; but as I had only about 26l. altogether in hand, I could only
give 20l. this time, instead of the usual 30l. I had then about 6l. left
for all the many other expenses, large and small, connected with the
Establishment, and which are not included in the ordinary house-keeping
expenses. Before the day is over, I have received this evening the
following amounts Through Salem boxes 1s. By sale of Reports 5s. 1d.
with 10s. as a donation. Both sums from Waterford.--From a donor in
Bristol 1l.--From Bayswater 5l.
Oct. 25. From an Orphan-box in Bristol 4s.--From Warminster 1l. 1s.
From Seven Oaks 1l.1s. 6d. This was an old debt, owed for a long
time to the donor. He expressed in prayer that, if the Lord would cause
the money to be paid, it should be sent to me; and almost immediately
afterwards it was paid.--From Durham 12l., being a dividend on shares
in gas-works.--From Braunton 5s.--From Balham Hill, London, 1l.
10s., with a variety of articles to be sold for the benefit of the
Orphans.--By sale of Reports 2s.
Oct. 26. From Keswick 7s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 1s. 6d., and 3s.--By sale of
Reports 1l. 2s. 11 ½ d.--By sale of some silver coins, a few tea
spoons, and a few trinkets 5l.--By sale of Reports 9s.--There was
found in the visitor's room at the New Orphan House a four-penny
piece.--Through the boxes in the New Orphan House 4l. 14s. This
afternoon was the time in the week when visitors see the establishment.
It was a wet afternoon, but still above 60 persons went over the house.
Being in great need of means, of which the visitors, however, could
perceive nothing, as all our stores were full as usual, I asked the
Lord, that He would be pleased to put it into their hearts to put money
into the boxes: and this sum I found in them this evening.--Yesterday
it was necessary to purchase ten sacks of flout, which, being just now
twice as dear as darning the last years, cost 27l. 10s.; and this day it
was needful to spend 8l. 1s. 2d. for smith's work. How kind,
therefore, of the Lord to have sent me today, yesterday, and the
afternoon of the day before yesterday, 34l. 11s, 4 ½ d. Thus, with the
6l. left before, I am able to meet these two items of above 35l., and
have about 5l. left.
Now observe how the Lord further helped, when I had only Five Pounds
left.
Oct. 27. By sale of Reports 3s.--From West Brixton 5s., and 5s. from
Scotland.--Through a box in the New Orphan House 6d.--By sale of a
Report 6d.
Oct. 28. "From Friends of Petersham" 1l. 2s. 6d., and from Richmond 7s.
6d.--From the neighbourhood of Stourbridge. 1l.--From Wells 3s.
From a clergyman at Weston-super-Mare 5l.--Anonymously from
Scotland 6d.--From a brother in the Lord 1l., with two pewter plates.
From Clifton 10s.--From Hackney 1s.
Oct. 29. From Chilton Polden 5s., as "A thank-offering that the
donor's children have not been left Orphans."--From Kingsbridge 5s.
6d.--From Glasgow 7s. 6d.--By sale of articles and Reports 2l.
10s.--From Royston 1l.
Oct. 30. From Lichfield 2s. 6d. and 3s. 8d.--From a medical gentleman
in Bristol 1l.--From Clifton 3s.
Oct. 31. This afternoon more money was required for house-keeping. By
the donations which had come in since the 27th, I was able to pay away
7l. 13s., and 1l. 2s., and had 12l. 17s, 2d. besides. This I gave to the
last penny for house-keeping, and had now literally not one penny left
in hand for the current expenses for the Orphans.
This evening I received, when I had nothing in hand: from Clifton 1l.
From a sister in the Lord in Bristol 2s. 6d.--Through Bethesda
boxes 5s., "from servants in Scotland,"--From Wiveliscombe 1l.--
From Clifton 10s.--Through the Chapel boxes 2s.--A pair of
silver-mounted spectacles and 2s. 6d. from Clifton.
Nov. 1. By means of those little sums, which came in last evening, I was
able to let the matron have further 2l. 17s. early this morning. Thus we
were able to meet this day's demands. There came in further today: By
sale of old clothes 6s. 4d., and from Launceston, by sale of Reports,
7s. 6d.--There was put into the letter box at my house anonymously,
1s. 6d., with these words: "I had worked hard for this money, and could
not get paid. A thought passed lately through my mind, if I ever get it,
I will devote it to some charitable purpose. To my surprise, without
asking for it, it is paid. I now send it for the Orphans."--Evening.
By sale of Reports 3s.--From Spaldwick 2s. 6d. and 1s.--From the
neighbourhood of Arundel 11s. 6d.
Nov. 2. From Hull 5s.--From Knapp 1s.--From Gosport 2l.--From
six servants at Hampton Court Palace, a parcel, containing a variety of
articles, for the use of the Orphans, or to be sold for their benefit,
with 4s. Through the boxes in the New Orphan House 1l. 16s. 5 ½ d.
Given also by a visitor from Cornwall 10s., Ditto by another 10s., Ditto
by another 2s. 6d., Ditto by another 1s.--By sale of Reports 6s.--
I was thus further able to advance last evening for house-keeping
expenses 1l. 0s. 4d., this morning 3l. 1s., and this evening 3l. 12s. 11
½ d. Thus, though we are living by the day, as it respects supplies out
of the hands of our Heavenly Father, yet we have lacked nothing!
Received further 12s. by sale of Reports.
Nov. 3. From Helensburgh 2s. and 6d.--From Bideford 12s.--From
Islington 2l.--From Clifton Park 5l.--By sale of some books 3l.
From a donor in Bristol 5l. From Norwich 5s.--Thus we have
wherewith to meet the expenses for today and tomorrow, and, it may be,
of the day after tomorrow. At all events, before this is gone, the
faithful Lord will send in more.
Nov. 4. By sale of old clothes 11s. 2 ½ d.--From Whitby 1l. Ditto
5s.--From Bodmin 1s.--By sale of rags 7s. 3d. [I transcribe from
the Income book. We think it right to turn every thing to account, so
that nothing be wasted, and that the expenses of the Institution be not
needlessly increased.]
Nov. 5. From Swansea 5s.--From Willenhall 5s.--From Bridgewater
5s.--From Worcester 5s. and 1s.--Evening, Saturday. Thus we have
had during another week everything needed.
Nov. 7. There came in yesterday 1s. from Stafford, and 3s. from Worksop.
To day from Kilkenny 1l.--When I had nothing at all in hand,
having paid out the last money today, and when more would be needed this
evening or tomorrow morning, I received this afternoon, from a most
unexpected quarter, 6l. This morning the matron had between 11l, and
12l. in hand for house-keeping expenses, but, by the time I arrived at
the New Orphan House, it had all been expended through unexpected
demands, so that she had had to add half a crown of her own. I had
received, however, this morning, at the very time while I was in prayer
for means, 1l. from Kilkenny, which, with, 9s. 3 ½ d. besides, in hand,
I gave to her. Now this afternoon came in the 6l., and we have thus a
manifest answer to prayer. The Lord be magnified.--Evening. Through
Salem boxes 1s. Through Bethesda boxes 2s. 6d. Do. 6d. From P. 2s. 6d.
Nov. 8. From Guildford 1l. 1s.
Nov. 9. By sale of Reports 3s. 6d.--From Clonmell 9s. 5d.--Our
need of means is great, very great. The Lord tries our faith and
patience. This afternoon, a brother and sister in the Lord, from
Gloucestershire, called to see mc at the New Orphan House, before going
through the house. After a few minutes I received from the sister a
sovereign, which she had been requested to bring to me for the Building
Fund, and she gave mc from herself 1l. for my own personal expenses, and
1l. for tine Building Fund, and her husband gave me 5l. for the Orphans,
and 5l. for Foreign Missions. Thus the Lord has refreshed my spirit
greatly; but I look for more, and need much more.--Evening. By sale
of Reports 13s. 2d. By the boxes in the New Orphan House 3l. 1s. 10 ½
d. I received also this evening from Walmer 10l., of which the donor
kindly wished 2l. to be used for the personal expenses of my family, and
the rest for missionary work and the support of the Orphans. I took
therefore one half for missions, and the other half for the Orphans.
Nov. 10. From Oakhill 5s.--By sale of Reports 15s. 10d.--From
Swansea 10s., 4s., and 6s.--From Anglesey 5s. and 2s. 6d.--From
Bath 2l.
Nov. 11. Anonymously from Banbury 1l.
Nov. 12. From Bideford 1l.--From Perth 1l. This evening, while
praying for means, came a little parcel, containing Ten Sovereigns, from
a Christian lady, living not far frown the New Orphan House. This was a
very great refreshment to my spirit. Also from Clydach 10s. and 1s.
Nov. 13. Further precious help. Received this morning through Bankers in
London, an anonymous donation of 50l. in a Bank Post Bill, with the
words: "To be applied to general purposes; to be used as you may judge
best." I took therefore the whole of this donation for the current
expenses of the Orphans. A most welcome and refreshing donation, the
fruit of many prayers, as just now the expenses are very great, and
there were no means in hand to meet them! From Clifton 16s. 5d. From
Easton 5l.
Nov. 14. From Melton Mowbray 2s. By sale of Reports 1s.--From Norwich
2s. 6d. Ditto 2s. 6d.--From Kingsbridge two brooches--Through the
boxes at Bethesda 1s.--From Clevedon 1l.--From F. E. B. 2s. 6d.
Nov. 15. Anonymously from Nottingham 10s.--From Cheltenham 5l.--
From the Isle of Wight 10s.--This evening I received from a Christian
lady a brooch set with amethysts, another brooch set with eight
brilliants and six other small diamonds, and a small gold necklace. My
heart was exceedingly refreshed by this donation, not only because we
arc still in need of supplies on account of our heavy daily expenses
just now; but also because this valuable donation consists of articles
which the Christian donor can spare, without the slightest
inconvenience.
Nov. 16. Anonymously in postages 3s. 6d.--From London 10l., with 5l.
for my own expenses.--By sale of Reports 7s.--Left by a visitor
from Aberdeen, at the New Orphan House 10s. Through the boxes at the New
Orphan House 2l. 11s. 6 ½ d.--From South Brent 1s. 6d.
I have thus given, minutely, the manner in which the Lord was pleased,
for 24 days in succession to supply us with means for the Orphans, from
which the spiritual reader may easily perceive our position. Thus it was
with us not merely during the 24 days of which I have now given the
history, but also to a greater or less degree at other times during this
year. But I refrain from giving minutely the account of every day, for
the sake of brevity.
The particular end, why I have been so minute, is to show that the work
is now, as much as ever, a work carried on entirely in dependence upon
the Living God, who alone is our hope, and to whom alone we look for
help, and who never has forsaken us in the hour of need. There is,
however, one thing different with reference to this year, when compared
with former years, and that is, that, while our trials of faith during
this year were just as great as in previous years, the amount needed in
former times was never so great as during this year, especially as the
bread during the greater part of this year was about twice as dear as
for several years before.
But then, it may be said, if you have had this trial of faith, with
these 300 Orphans, why do you seek to build another Orphan House for 700
more, and thus have a thousand to care for? Will you not have still
greater trials of faith?
My reply is: 1, God has never failed me all the 20 years of this my
service. 2, I am going on as easily now, with 300 Orphans, as with 30,
the number with which I commenced. Their number is ten times as large,
as it was at the first; but God has always helped me. 3, Trials of faith
were anticipated, yea were one chief end of the work, for the profit of
the Church of Christ at large. 4, I had courage given me to go forward,
solely in dependence upon God, being assured that He would help me; yet
I waited in secret upon Him for six months, before I made this my
intention known, in order that I might not take a hasty step; and have
never regretted having gone forward. 5, But it needs to be added, that
the very abundance which the Lord gave me at the time, when my mind was
exercised about this matter, was a great confirmation to me, that I had
not mistaken His mind. And even during this year, how great has been His
help; for the income for the work altogether has been 12,785l. 15s. 7 ¼
d. I am therefore assured that the Lord will, in His own time, not only
allow me to build another Orphan House, but that He will also, when He
shall have been pleased to fill it, find the means to provide for these
children.
I give now a brief reference to some of the more remarkable donations
which came in between Nov. 16, 1853, and May 26, 1854.
Jan. 1, 1854. Received three old guinea pieces, with the following
words: "The enclosed has been too long held in reserve, as an esteemed
memento from a dear departed parent (for which may the Lord grant a
pardon). A conviction of its wrong overpowers the natural desire, of its
being retained, and not expended to the glory of God: for which purpose
it is now sent to dear Mr. Müller, as a new year offering, to be used
in the way he thinks most conducive to the same,"--In this instance I
had a double answer to prayer; for we were not only much in need of
means, when the donation came in, but I had also again and again asked
the Lord to incline the hearts of His dear children to send me their
jewellery, their old gold and silver coins, and other valuable, but
needless, articles, to be turned into money for the work of the Lord.
Jan. 17. Memorable day. Today, in much need, was received from Glasgow
10l., with 10l. for Mr. Craik, and 10l. for my own personal expenses.
There came in also, a Bank Post Bill for 50l., anonymously, through
London Bankers, which amount was taken half for the Orphans and half for
the other objects.--Likewise from Stroud 10s.--From Reading 6s.
3d.--From Gloucester 2s. 6d.--But the Lord over and above all
this, allowed me to have this day the promise of that large donation
which has been spoken of under the Building Fund, of which 707l. was
taken towards the support of the Orphans, by which, together with
1,119l. 8s. 2 ½ d. which came in for the support of the Orphans from
Jan. 17 up to May 26, 1854, we were helped to the close of this period.
March 1. There was left to me, for the benefit of the Orphans, a year
ago, by an individual in Bristol, whom I had never seen, a legacy of
100l., which was paid this day, less 10l. legacy duty.
April 9. This morning I received from an anonymous donor, through
Bankers in London, a Bank Post Bill for 50l., the application of which
was left to me. I took the whole of it for the support of the Orphans.
This donation has been a great spiritual refreshment to me, as the
expenses for the Orphans are now so very great, and as for five weeks no
large sums have come in.
April 17. Received 150l., of which the donor kindly wished me to take
20l. for my own personal expenses, and to use the rest as might be most
needed for the Lord's work in my hands. I took, therefore, 100l. for
the current expenses for the Orphans, and 30l. for the other Objects.
This donation has greatly refreshed my spirit, as the expenses for
the Orphans were never so great at any period, since the work commenced,
as during the last six mouths, on account of the high price of
provisions; and as the income, compared with the expenses, has been
small of late, though considerable, were not the expenses so very
great.
May 14. This morning I have received 150l., of which I have taken for
the current expenses for the Orphans 100l., and for the other objects
50l.--Tomorrow I shall have to pay out for the Orphans 107l. 4s. The
total amount I had in hand for them, before this donation was received,
was only 120l. How kind, therefore, of the Lord to replenish our means
again, before they were almost entirely exhausted!--I received, also,
this morning from Clifton 5l.
During the following 12 days there came in further 107l. altogether for
the support of the Orphans.
Miscellaneous points respecting the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for
Home and Abroad, with reference to the period from May 26, 1853, to May
26, 1854.
1. During this year 4 Day Schools, with 202 children, were entirely
supported by the funds of the Institution. Further, one Sunday School in
Bristol, with 137 children, was entirely supported, and three others in
Devonshire, Somersetshire, and Gloucestershire, with 300 children, were
assisted. Lastly, one Adult School, with 154 Adult scholars, was
entirely supported. The total amount which was spent during this year,
in connexion with these schools, was 359l. 15s. 10 ½ d.--The number
of all the children, who were under our care, merely in the schools
which were entirely supported by this Institution, from March 5,1834, to
May 26, 1854, was 5,817 in the Day Schools, and 2,748 in the Sunday
Schools, and 2,315 persons in the Adult School.
2. During this year was expended on the circulation of the Holy
Scriptures, of the funds of the Institution, 433l. 2s. 9d. There were
circulated during this year 1890 Bibles and 1288 New Testaments; and
from the commencement of the work up to May 26, 1854, Twelve Thousand
Three Hundred and Sixty-six Bibles, and Seven Thousand Three Hundred and
Forty-nine New Testaments.
3. During this year there was spent of the Funds of the Institution for
Missionary objects the sum of 2,249l. 10s. 8 ½ d. By this sum,
fifty-six labourers in the word and doctrine, in various parts of the
world, were to a greater or less degree assisted.
During this year, the Lord was pleased to bless again abundantly the
labours of many of those servants of Christ, who were assisted through
the funds of this Institution, and this has been the case in foreign
countries as well as at home.
4. There was laid out for the circulation of Tracts, from May 26, 1853,
to May 26, 1854, the sum of 563l. 5s. 0 ½ d.; and there were circulated
869,636 Tracts.
The total number of all time Tracts circulated from the beginning up to
May 26, 1854, was Two Millions Six Hundred and Eighty-nine Thousand Six
Hundred and Seventy-six.
We desire to be grateful to the Lord, that, during no period previously
we were enabled to circulate more Tracts, and more copies of the Holy
Scriptures, and aid to a greater degree missionary labours, than during
this period; yet we would not rest in that. It is the blessing of the
Lord upon our labours which we need, which we desire, and which, by His
grace, we also seek. If never so many millions of Tracts, yea even
copies of the Holy Scriptures, were circulated, and the Lord did not
give His blessing, all these efforts would produce no results to the
glory of His name. Yea, if even tens of thousands of preachers of the
gospel could be supported with means, in the darkest places of the
earth, and they enjoyed not the blessing of the Lord upon their labours,
they would labour in vain. For this blessing God will be asked, in order
that He may bestow it; but, when it is sought at His hands, He delights
in giving it. By God's help we were enabled to seek this blessing, and
we obtained again precious answers to our prayers, during this year. It
is not merely that the Lord was pleased to give us answers to our
prayers with regard to means for carrying on the work; but also in that
the various objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution were
abundantly blessed to the conversion of very many souls; and this was
particularly also the case again with reference to the circulation of
Tracts.
If any of the Christian Readers are in the habit of circulating Tracts,
and yet have never seen fruit, may I suggest to them the following hints
for their prayerful consideration. 1, Seek for such a state of heart,
through Prayer and meditation on the Holy Scriptures, as that you are
willing to let God have all the honour, if any good is accomplished by
your service. If you desire for yourself the honour, yea, though it were
in part only, you oblige the Lord, so to speak, to put you as yet aside
as a vessel not meet for the Master's use. One of the greatest
qualifications for usefulness in the service of the Lord is a heart,
truly desirous of getting honour for Him. 2, Precede all your labours
with earnest, diligent prayer; go to them in a prayerful spirit; and
follow them by prayer. Do not rest on the number of Tracts you have
given. A million of Tracts may not be the means of converting one single
soul; and yet how great, beyond calculation, may be the blessing which
results from one single Tract. Thus it is also with regard to the
circulation of the Holy Scriptures, and the ministry of the Word itself.
Expect, then, everything from the blessing of the Lord, and nothing at
all from your own exertions. 3, And yet, at the same time, labour, press
into every open door, be instant in season and out of season, as if
everything depended upon your labours. This, as has been stated before,
is one of the great secrets in connexion with successful service for the
Lord; to work, as if everything depended upon our diligence, and yet not
to rest in the least upon our exertions, but upon the blessing of the
Lord. 4, This blessing of the Lord, however, should not merely be sought
in prayer, but should also be expected, looked for, continually looked
for; and the result will be, that we shall surely have it. 5, But
suppose, that, for the trial of our faith, this blessing were for a long
time withheld from our sight; or suppose even that we should have to
fall asleep, before we see much good resulting from our labours; yet
will they, if carried on in such a way and spirit as has been stated, be
at last abundantly owned, and we shall have a much harvest in the day of
Christ.
Now, dear Christian Reader, if you have not seen much blessing resulting
from your labours, or perhaps none at all, consider prayerfully these
hints, which are affectionately given by one who has now for about
thirty years [in 1856] in some measure sought to serve the Lord, and who
has found the blessedness, of what he has suggested, in some measure in
his own experience.
5. At the beginning of this period, there were Three Hundred Orphans in
the New Orphan House on Ashley Down, Bristol. During the year there were
admitted into it 30 Orphans; making 330 in all. Of these 330, four died,
three were received back again by their relatives, who by that time were
able to provide for them, 17 boys were, at the expense of the
establishment, fitted out and apprenticed, and eight girls were fitted
out and sent to situations, at the expense of the Establishment; so that
there were only 298 Orphans in the house at the close of the period. The
total number of Orphans, who were under our care from April, 1836, to
May 26, 1854, was Five Hundred and Fifty Eight.
I notice further the following points in connexion with the New Orphan
House.
A. The expenses during this year, for the support of the Orphans, were
3,897l. 2s. 0 ½ d.
B. Without any one having been personally applied to for anything by me,
the sum of 64,591l. 6s. 11 ¼ d. was given to me for the Orphans as the
result of prayer to God from the commencement of the work up to May 26,
1854.--It may be also interesting to the reader to know that the
total amount given for the other objects, from the commencement of the
work up to May 26, 1854, was 22,268l. 2s 11 ¼ d.; and that which came
in by the sale of Bibles and Tracts, and by the payments of the children
in the Day Schools, from the commencement up to May 26, 1854, amounted
to 3,989l. 4s. 5 ¾ d.--Besides this, also, a great variety and
number of articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, &c., were given
for the use of the Orphans.
C. Our labours continued to be blessed among the Orphans. We saw also
again fruit of our labours, during this year, with regard to Orphans who
formerly were under our care.
Matters connected with my own personal affairs, from May 26, 1853, to
May 26, 1854.
In July 1853 it pleased the Lord to try my faith in a way in which
before it had not been tried. My beloved daughter, an only child, and a
believer since the commencement of the year 1846, was taken ill on June
20th. This illness, at first a low fever, turned to typhus. On July 3rd
there seemed no hope of her recovery. Now was the trial of faith. But
faith triumphed. My beloved wife and I were enabled to give her up into
the hands of the Lord. He sustained us both exceedingly. But I will only
speak about myself. Though my only and beloved child was brought near
the grave, yet was my soul inn perfect peace, satisfied with the will of
my Heavenly Father, being assured that He would only do that for her and
her parents, which in the end would be the best. She continued very ill
till about July 20th, when restoration began. On Aug. 18th she was so
far restored, that she could be removed to Clevedon for change of air,
though exceedingly weak. It was then 59 days mince she was first taken
ill.
While I was in this affliction, this great affliction, besides being at
peace, so far as the Lord's dispensation was concerned, I also felt
perfectly at peace with regard to the cause of the affliction. When in
August 1831 the hand of the Lord was heavily laid on me in my family, as
related in the first part of this Narrative, I had not the least
hesitation in knowing, that it was the Father's rod, applied in
infinite wisdom and love, for the restoration of my soul from a state of
lukewarmness. At this time, however, I had no such feeling. Conscious as
I was of manifold weaknesses, failings, and shortcomings, so that I too
would be ready to say with the Apostle Paul, "O wretched man that I am;"
yet I was assured that this affliction was not upon me in the way of the
fatherly rod, but for the trial of my faith. Persons often have, no
doubt, the idea respecting me, that all my trials of faith regard
matters connected with money, though the reverse has been stated by me
very frequently; now, however, the Lord would try my faith concerning
one of my dearest earthly treasures, yea, next to my beloved wife, the
dearest of all my earthly possessions. Parents know what an only child,
a beloved child is, and what to believing parents an only child, a
believing child must be. Well, the Father in heaven said, as it were, by
this His dispensation, Art thou willing to give up this child to me? My
heart responded, As it seems good to Thee my Heavenly Father. Thy will
be done. But as our hearts were made willing to give back our beloved
child to Him who had given her to us, so He was ready to leave her to
us, and she lived. "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give
thee the desires of thine heart." Psalm xxxvii. 4. The desires of my
heart were, to retain the beloved daughter, if it were the will of God;
the means to retain her were, to be satisfied with the will of the
Lord.
Of all the trials of faith that as yet I have had to pass through, this
was the greatest; amid by God's abundant mercy, I own it to His
praise, I was enabled to delight myself in the will of God; for I felt
perfectly sure, that, if the Lord took this beloved daughter, it would
be best for her parents, best for herself, and more for the glory of God
than if she lived: this better part I was satisfied with; and thus my
heart had peace, perfect peace, and I had not a moment's anxiety. Thus
would it be under all circumstances, however painful, were the believer
exercising faith.