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£413 2 4
Full account of the reasons which led me to the enlargement of the
Orphan work, so that One Thousand Orphans might be provided for.
Having written down at full length the exercises of my mind respecting
this deeply important step, I give them here, in the form of a journal,
as recorded at the time.
Dec. 5, 1850. It is now sixteen years and nine months this evening,
since I began the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad.
This Institution was in its beginning exceedingly small. Now it is so
large, that I have not only disbursed, since its commencement, about
Fifty Thousand Pounds sterling, but the current expenses, after the rate
of the last months, amount to above £6,000 a year. I did "open my mouth
wide," this very evening fifteen years ago, and the Lord has filled it.
The New Orphan-House is now inhabited by 300 Orphans; and there are
altogether 335 persons connected with it. My labour is abundant. The
separation from my dear wife and child great, on account of my being the
greater part of the day at the New Orphan-House; sometimes also by
night. But notwithstanding all this, I have again and again thought
about labouring more than ever in serving poor Orphans. Within the last
ten days this matter has much occupied my mind, and for the last five
days I have had much prayer about it. It has passed through my mind to
build another Orphan-House, large enough for Seven Hundred Orphans, so
that I might be able to care for One Thousand altogether. The points
which have led me to this thought are: 1, The many distressing cases of
children, bereaved of both parents, who have no helper. I have received
207 Orphans within the last sixteen months, and have now 78 waiting for
admission, without having vacancies for any. I had about 60 children
waiting for admission about sixteen months since, so about 230 children
have been applied for within these sixteen months. But, humanly
speaking, for the next sixteen months the number of applications will be
far greater, as the work is now so much more widely known; except it be
that persons may hear that the New Orphan-House is quite full, and on
that account may consider it useless to apply. 2, The constitution of
most other charitable Institutions for Orphans makes the admission of a
really destitute Orphan, i.e. a child bereaved of both parents, and
without an influential friend, very difficult, if not hopeless; for
admission by means of the votes of donors precludes really poor persons
from having, in most instances, the benefit of these Institutions, as
they cannot give the time nor expend the money necessary for obtaining
such votes. I have myself seen that certain candidates had several
thousand votes. The necessity of this arrangement being continued may be
much regretted by many who are connected with such Institutions, but
they have no power to alter it. In our case nothing is needed but
application to me; and the very poorest person, without influence,
without friends, without any expense, no matter where he lives, or of
whatever religious denomination, who applies for children born in lawful
wedlock, bereaved of both parents, and in destitute circumstances, may
procure their admission. Now as the new Poor-law is against giving
relief to relatives for Orphan children out of the Poor Houses; and as
there is such difficulty for really poor people to get their Orphan
relatives admitted into ordinary Orphan Establishments; I feel myself
particularly called upon to be the Friend of the Orphan, by making an
easy way for admission, provided it is really a destitute case. 3, The
confidence which God has caused thousands of His children to repose in
me, calls upon me to make use of it to the utmost of my power, and to
seek yet more largely to be their almoner. 4, The experience which I
have had in this service now for fifteen years, during which time I have
gone from the smallest commencement of the work to having at present 300
Orphans under my care, calls upon me to make use of this my experience
to the utmost. No member of a committee, no president of a Society,
could possibly have the same experience, except he himself had
practically been engaged in such a work for a number of years, as I have
been. 5, This very experience makes things light to me, under God's
help, which were difficult formerly, and which would be very difficult
now to many; may I not therefore proceed still further? 6, If 700 more
young souls could be brought under regular godly training, (and their
number would be renewed from time to time,) what blessed service for the
kingdom of Christ, and what profitable expenditure of labour too, with
the blessing of God, even for this realm in a civil and moral point of
view! 7, But that which outweighs every one of these six reasons, is
lastly this: I began this Orphan Work fifteen years ago for the very
purpose of illustrating to the world and to the church that there is
verily a God in heaven who hears prayer; that God is the living God.
(See fully about this in "Narrative of the Lord's dealings with George
Muller," under the reasons why I began the Orphan Work in 1835, 1st
Part, page 143-146 of the Seventh Edition.) Now this last object is the
more fully accomplished the larger the work is, provided I am helped in
obtaining the means simply through prayer and faith.
But whilst such thoughts have passed through my mind, there are others
of another character. For instance, 1, I have already an abundance of
work. 2, My dear wife has already an abundance of work. Her whole time,
with little intermission (except for prayer and reading of the Word of
God) is occupied directly or indirectly about the Orphans. 3, Am I not
undertaking too much for my bodily strength and mental powers, by
thinking about another Orphan-House? 4, Am I not going beyond the
measure of my faith in thinking about enlarging the work so as to double
or treble it? 5, Is not this a delusion of Satan, an attempt to cast me
down altogether from my sphere of usefulness, by making me go beyond my
measure? 6, Is it not also, perhaps, a snare to puff me up, by
attempting to build a very large Orphan-House?
Under these circumstances I can only pray that the Lord in his tender
mercy would not allow Satan to gain an advantage over me. By the grace
of God my heart says: Lord if I could be sure that it is Thy will, that
I should go forward in this matter, I would do so cheerfully; and, on
the other hand, if I could be sure, that these are vain, foolish, proud
thoughts, that they are not from Thee, I would, by Thy grace, hate them,
and entirely put them aside.
My hope is in God; He will help and teach me. Judging, however, from His
former dealings with me, it would not be a strange thing to me, nor
surprising, if He called me to labour yet still more largely in this
way.
The thoughts about enlarging the Orphan Work have not arisen on account
of an abundance of money having lately come in; for I have had of late
to wait for about seven weeks upon God, whilst little, very little
comparatively, came in, i.e., about four times as much was going out as
came in; and, had not the Lord previously sent me large sums, we should
have been distressed indeed.
Lord! How can Thy servant know Thy will in this matter? Wilt Thou be
pleased to teach him!
Dec. 11, 1850. During the last six days, since writing the above, I have
been, day after day, waiting upon God concerning this matter. It has
generally been more or less all the day on my heart. When I have been
awake at night, it has not been far from my thoughts. Yet all this
without the least excitement I am perfectly calm and quiet respecting
it. My soul would be rejoiced to go forward in this service, could I be
sure that the Lord would have me to do so; for then, notwithstanding the
numberless difficulties, all would be well, and His name would be
magnified.
On the other hand, were. I assured that the Lord would have me to be
satisfied with my present sphere of service, and that I should not pray
about enlarging the work, by His grace I could, without an effort,
cheerfully yield to it; for He has brought me into such a state of
heart, that I only desire to please Him in this matter. Moreover,
hitherto I have not spoken about this thing even to my beloved wife, the
sharer of my joys, sorrows and labours for more than twenty years; nor
is it likely that I shall do so for some time to come: for I prefer
quietly to wait on the Lord, without conversing on this subject, in
order that thus I may be kept the more easily, by His blessing, from
being influenced by things from without. The burden of my prayer
concerning this matter is, that the Lord would not allow me to make a
mistake, and that He would teach me His will. As to outward things, I
have had nothing to encourage me during these six days, but the very
reverse; for the income, for the various objects of the Scriptural
Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad, has been unusually small,
only 6l. 14s. altogether, while the outgoings have been 138l. 11s. 7d.
But all this would not weigh the least with me, could I be quite sure
that the Lord would have me to go forward.
The especial burden of my prayer therefore is, that God would be pleased
to teach me His will. My mind has also been especially pondering, how I
could know His will satisfactorily concerning this particular. Sure I
am, that I shall be taught. I therefore desire patiently to wait for the
Lord's time, when He shall be pleased to shine on my path concerning
this point.
Dec. 26. Fifteen days have elapsed since I wrote the preceding
paragraph. Every day since then I have continued to pray about this
matter, and that with a goodly measure of earnestness, by the help of
God. There has passed scarcely an hour during these days, in which,
whilst awake, this matter has not been more or less before me. But all
without even a shadow of excitement. I converse with no one about it.
Hitherto have I not even done so with my dear wife. From this I refrain
still, and deal with God alone about the matter, in order that no
outward influence, and no outward excitement ay keep me from attaining
unto a clear discovery of His will. I have the fullest and most peaceful
assurance, that He will clearly show me His will. This evening I have
had again an especial solemn season for prayer, to seek to know the will
of God. But whilst I continue to entreat and beseech the Lord, that He
would not allow me to be deluded in this business, I may say I have
scarcely any doubt remaining on my mind as to what will be the issue,
even that I should go forward in this matter. As this, however, is one
of the most momentous steps that I have ever taken, I judge that I
cannot go about this matter with too much caution, prayerfulness, and
deliberation. I am in no hurry about it. I could wait for years, by
God's grace, were this His will, before even taking one single step
towards this thing, or even speaking to any one about it; and, on the
other hand, I would set to work tomorrow, were the Lord to bid me do so.
This calmness of mind, this having no will of my own in the matter, this
only wishing to tease my Heavenly Father in it, this only seeking His
and not my honour in it; this state of heart, I say, is the fullest
assurance to me that my heart is not under a fleshly excitement, and
that, if I am helped thus to go on, I shall know the will of God to the
full. But, while. I write thus, I cannot but add at the same time, that
I do crave the honour and the glorious privilege to be more and more
used by the Lord. I have served Satan much in my younger years, and
desire now with all my might to serve God, during the remaining days of
my earthly pilgrimage. I am forty-five years and three months old. Every
day decreases the number of days that I have to stay on earth. I
therefore desire with all my might to work. There are vast multitudes of
Orphans to be provided for. About five years ago, a brother in the Lord
told me he had seen in an official Report, that there were at that time
six thousand young Orphans in the prisons of England. My heart longs to
be instrumental in preventing such young Orphans from having to go to
prison. I desire to be used by the Lord as an instrument in providing
all the necessary temporal supplies, not only for the 300 now under my
care, but for 700 more. I desire to alleviate yet further the sufferings
of poor dying widows, when looking on their helpless Orphans, about to
be left behind. I desire yet further to assist poor persons to whom
destitute Orphans are left, and who are unable to provide for them. I
desire to be allowed to provide Scriptural Instruction for a thousand
Orphans; instead of doing so for 300. I desire to expound the Holy
Scriptures regularly to a thousand Orphans, instead of doing so to 300.
I desire that thus it may be yet more abundantly manifest that God is
still the hearer and answerer of prayer, and that He is the living God
now, as He ever was and ever will be, when He shall, simply in answer to
prayer, have condescended to provide me with a house for 700 Orphans,
and with means to support them. This last consideration is the most
important point in my mind. The Lord's honour is the principal point
with me in this whole matter; and just because that is the case, if He
would be more glorified by my not going forward in this business, I
should, by His grace, be perfectly content to give up all thoughts about
another Orphan-House. Surely in such a state of mind, obtained by the
Holy Spirit, Thou, O my Heavenly Father, wilt not suffer Thy child to be
mistaken, much less to be deluded! By the help of God I shall continue
further, day by day, to wait upon Him in prayer concerning this thing,
till He shall bid me act.
Jan. 2, 1851. A week ago I wrote the preceding paragraph. During this
week I have still been helped, day by day, and more than once every day,
to seek the guidance of the Lord about another Orphan-House. The burden
of my prayer has still been, that He, in His great mercy, would keep me
from making a mistake. During the last week the Book of Proverbs has
come in the course of my Scripture reading, and my heart has been
refreshed, in reference to this subject, by the following passages:
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own
understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy
paths." Prov. iii. 5, 6. By the grace of God I do acknowledge the Lord
in my ways, and in this thing in particular; I have therefore the
comfortable assurance that He will direct my paths concerning this part
of my service, as to whether I shall be occupied in it or not. Further:
"The integrity of the upright shall preserve them; but the perverseness
of fools shall destroy them." Prov. xi. 3. By the grace of God I am
upright in this business. My honest purpose is to get glory to God.
Therefore. I expect to be guided aright. Further, "Commit thy works unto
the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established." Prov. xvi. 8. I do
commit my works unto the Lord, and therefore expect that my thoughts
will be established.--My heart is more and more coming to a calm,
quiet, and settled assurance, that the Lord will condescend to use me
yet further in the Orphan Work. Here, Lord, is Thy servant!
Jan. 14. Twelve days have passed away since I wrote the last paragraph.
I have still, day by day, been enabled to wait upon the Lord with
reference to enlarging the Orphan Work, and have been, during the whole
of this period also, in perfect peace, which is the result of seeking in
this thing only the Lord's honour and the temporal and spiritual
benefit of my fellowmen. Without an effort could I, by His grace, put
aside all thoughts about this whole affair, if only assured that it is
the will of God I should do so; and, on the other hand, would at once go
forward, if He would have it to be so. I have still kept this matter
entirely to myself. Though it is now about seven weeks, since day by
day, more or less, my mind has been exercised about it, and since I have
daily prayed concerning it; yet not one human being knows of it. As yet
I have not mentioned it even to my dear wife, in order that thus, by
quietly waiting upon the Lord, I might not be influenced by what might
be said to me on the subject. This evening has been particularly set
apart for prayer, beseeching the Lord once more, not to allow me to be
mistaken in this thing, and much less to be deluded by the Devil. I have
also sought to let all the reasons against building another
Orphan-House, and all the reasons for doing so, pass before my mind; and
now, for the sake of clearness and definiteness, write them down.