Cecilia Volanges _to_ Sophia Carnay.
[In this Letter, Cecilia Volanges gives a most circumstantial account
of every thing that relates to herself, in the events which the reader
has seen at the end of the first volume, the 59th Letter, and the
following; for this reason a repetition was thought unnecessary; at
last she speaks of Viscount de Valmont, and thus expresses herself:]
I assure you he is a very extraordinary man: my mamma speaks very ill
of him, but the Chevalier Danceny is enamoured with him, and I believe
he is in the right. I never saw a man so artful; when he gave me
Danceny’s letter, it was amongst a good deal of company, and no one
knew any thing of the matter. It is true I was very much frightened,
because I had no notion of any such thing, but hereafter I shall be on
the watch. I conceive, already, how he would have me return the answer;
it is very easy to understand him, for he has an eye tells one every
thing; I do not know how he contrives: he told me in the note which I
mentioned to you, he would not seem to take any notice of me before
mamma; really one would imagine he never thinks of it, and yet every
time I want to look at him, I am sure to meet his eyes fixed upon me.
There is a lady here, also an intimate friend of mamma’s, I did not
know, who appears to me not to like Mr. de Valmont. Although he seems
to be all attention to her, I am afraid he will soon grow tired of this
life, and return to Paris; that would be dreadful indeed! He must be
an exceeding good-natured man, to come here on purpose to serve his
friend and me. I wish to know how I could testify my gratitude; but I
don’t know how to speak to him; and if I even had the opportunity, I
should be so ashamed I should not know what to say.
I cannot speak to any body freely, about my love affair, but Madame de
Merteuil; perhaps even with thee, to whom I tell every thing, if it was
in a chatting way, I should be abashed. Even with Danceny himself, I
have often felt, as it were, against my inclination, a kind of fear,
which prevented me from saying every thing I could wish. I am very
sorry for it now, and I would give any thing in the world for a moment,
to tell him only once how much I love him. Mr. de Valmont has promised
him, if I will be ruled by him, he will find an opportunity for us to
see each other. I am very well inclined to do whatever he would have
me; but I can’t conceive how it is possible.