["Amongst the candidates for the Regius Professorship of History
at Cambridge is Mr. OSCAR BROWNING."--_Daily Paper._]
The History Professorship--
Who'll from the PREMIER get the post?
Here's Mr. OSCAR BROWNING, one
Whose name is chosen from the host.
But should Lord R. o'erlook his claim,
Oh! will O. B. be wildly riled.
In fact, will OSCAR BROWNING then
Develop into OSCAR WILDE?
* * * * *
QUEER QUERIES.--COSTLY COLOURS.--Could some reader inform me whether
it would be of any use to request the Works Committee of the London
County Council to paint my back door for me? It has become a little
discoloured through age, and a local carpenter has offered to put on
"two coats of good sage-green enamel paint" for five-and-sixpence. But
as I see that the Works Committee only spent £2,186 over the painting
of Hammersmith Bridge, I fancy that it would be cheaper to employ
them, if I could. It is pleasant to think what exceptionally fair
wages they must have paid over this job (using the word in its natural
meaning), and how much time the poor men engaged in it must have been
able to give to their family circles. This is as it should be.--TRUE
PROGRESSIVE.
* * * * *
NIAGARA HALL.--They say the sham ice here is almost perfect, very
nearly as good as the real ice, in fact so little is the difference
between the real and sham that a skater, unless he had tried it, would
hardly real-ice it! The band plays, "Hwfa (Williams) of thee I'm
fondly dreaming!" as the _patineurs_ and _patineuses_ who have paid
their three or five shillings glide about at the rate of either
eighteenpence or two-and-sixpence a foot.