“_Et Balbus bellum horridum fecit._”
--CONVULSIUS.
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HE Marquis led us from the station into a road, where we found the van
already under way and two carriages awaiting us. In one Dick and Teddy
were already installed; the Marquis and Kate entered the other. I
joined my friends, and Halfred sprang upon the box; and off we set for
a destination which our leader, after his habit, kept till the last a
profound secret. So far as I could see, our force consisted of the
party I have named, the men in the van, and the three drivers. Hankey, I
presumed, must be one of the last. Where we were to find a ship, and how
soon we were to find our French allies, I had no notion at all.
That drive seemed as interminable as the railway journey, and certainly
it was far more uncomfortable. We were all three too sleepy to talk
much, but, to my constant wonder and delight, I found my two companions
as ready as ever to go ahead and take their chance of what might befall
them.
“I say,” said Teddy, in a drowsy tone, “do you think there's any chance
of getting a bath before we begin?”
“The despised sandwich would come in handy, too,” added Dick. “I say,
monsieur, why didn't you bring a flask?”
“I did,” I replied, “and here it is.”
“He is another Napoleon,” said Dick. “Nothing is forgotten.”
Meantime the day began to break, and, though the sun had not yet risen,
it was quite light when we felt our carriage stop.
“Alight!” said the voice of the Marquis. “We have arrived!”
We were in a side track that ran through the fields of a sheltered
valley; on one side a grove of trees concealed us; on the other, through
the end of the valley and only at a little distance off, I saw something
that roused me with a thrill of excitement. It was the open, gray sea,
with a small steamboat lying close inshore.
“Peste!” cried the Marquis, taking me aside. “Hankey is not here!”
“Not with us?”
“No; he must have been left at the station. It is a nuisance!”
“It seems to me worse than that.”
“Yes, for we cannot wait; we must leave him behind. It is a great
loss. And now, my brave comrade, the drama commences--the drama of the
restoration! You will open the van, and as the men come out I shall
address them.”
“In English?” I asked.
“Yes; I have prepared and learned by heart an oration. It will not be
long, but it will be moving. Ah, you will see that I can be eloquent!”
With his wife at his side, and the drivers a few paces behind him, he
drew himself up and threw out his chest, while I unlocked the door of
the van.
Throwing it open I stepped back, curious to see the desperadoes he had
collected, and wondering how they would regard the business, while the
Marquis cleared his throat.
A moment's expectant pause, and then--conceive my sensations--out
stepped, first, the burly form of Sir Henry Horley, then the upright
figure of General Sholto, next the benevolent countenance of the Bishop
of Battersea, and after him the remainder of my invited guests. The
Marquis had kidnapped the wrong men!
“What the devil!” began Sir Henry, glancing round him to see in what
country and company he found himself; but before there was time for
a word of explanation, the Marquis had launched upon his passionate
appeal. As the original manuscript afterwards came into my possession,
I am able to give the exact words of this remarkable oration.
“Brave, gallant men,” he cried; “you have come to share adventures
stupendous, miraculous, which you will enjoy! I lead you, my good
Britannic sportsmen, whither or why obviously can be seen, to establish
the anointed and legal King in his right country! To die successfully
is glorious! But you will not; you will live forever conquering, and
gratefully recollected in France!
“You” [here he waved his hand towards the astonished baronet] “will
enjoy drink of all beers and spirits that an English proverbially adores
ever after and always! Also you” [here he indicated the dumfounded
bishop] “will enjoy women, the most lively and sporting in the
wide world, always and ever after! Also you” [pointing towards the
substantial form of Mr. Alderman Guffin] “shall bask and revel in the
land of song, of music, of light fantastic toes, amid all which once and
more having been never stopping again bravo and hip, hip, my sportsmen!
Once, twice, thrice, follow me to victor!”
He stopped and looked eagerly for the fruits of this appeal, and his
Britannic sportsmen returned his gaze with interest. I am free to
confess that long before this my two companions and I had shrunk from
publicity behind the door of the van, awaiting a more fitting moment to
greet our friends.
“Is this a dashed asylum, or a dashed nightmare?” demanded Sir Henry.
Not quite comprehending this, but seeing that these recruits displayed
no great alacrity, the Marquis again raised his voice and cried:
“Are you afraid, brave garçons?”
But now an unexpected light was thrown on their captors.
“Kate!” exclaimed General Sholto in a bewildered voice.
That the unfortunate General should have his domestic drama played in
public was more than I could bear. I stepped forward, and I may honestly
say that I effectually distracted attention. It was not a pleasant
process, even when assisted by the explanations of Teddy to his father
and the loyal assurances of Dick; but it at least cleared the air.
As for the unfortunate Marquis, his chagrin was so evident that,
diabolically unpleasant as he had made my own position, I could not but
feel sorry for him.
“And so,” he said to me, sadly, “Heaven has been unkind to me again. I
acted for the best, my dear d'Haricot, believe me! But I fear I do not
excel so much in carrying out details as in conceiving plans. I see, it
was my fault! I allowed these gentlemen to enter that house by the wrong
door. Well, if they will not follow us--and I fear they are reluctant,
though I do not understand all they say--we three must go alone!”
“Three?” I asked.
“My wife and you and I. Say farewell to your friends and come! The
vessel awaits us and our forces in France will at all events be ready.”
But Heaven was to prove still more unkind to our unfortunate leader.
“Who are these?” I exclaimed.
“The English police!” he cried. “We are betrayed!”
And indeed we were. A force of mounted policemen swept round the corner
of the wood and trotted up to us, and in the midst of them we recognized
the double-faced Hankey.
“What do you want, gentlemen?” asked the Marquis, calmly, though his
eyes flashed dangerously at the traitor.
“We come in the Queen's name!” replied the officer in command. “Are you
the Marquis de la Carrabasse?”
I am.
“I have a warrant, then, for your arrest.”
But now, for the first time, fortune turned in the Marquis's favor,
though I fear it seemed to that zealous patriot a poor crumb of
consolation that she threw.
Instead of finding, as our betrayer had calculated, a crew of
suspicious-looking adventurers, he beheld a small party of middle-aged
gentlemen attired in evening clothes and anxious only to find their way
home again; and, to add to our good luck, when they came to look for our
case of arms and ammunition it appeared that the Marquis had forgotten
to bring it. Also, these same elderly gentlemen showed a very marked
disinclination to have their share in the adventure appear in the
morning papers, even in the capacity of witnesses.
And, finally, as the French government had been informed of our plans
for some weeks past, so that we were absolutely powerless for mischief,
the police decided to overlook my share altogether and make a merely
formal matter of my friend's arrest.
“What will my King say?” cried the poor Marquis. “Oh, d'Haricot, I am
disgraced, and my honor is lost! Tell me not that I am unfortunate; for
what difference does that make? Such misfortunes must not be survived!
Adieu, my friend! Pardon my suspicions!”
Before I could prevent him, the unfortunate man quickly thrust his hand
into his pistol-pocket, and in that same instant would have blown out
those ingenious, unpractical brains. But, with a fresh look of despair,
he stopped, petrified, his hand still in his pocket.
“My revolver also is forgotten!” he exclaimed. “I am neither capable of
living nor of dying!”
“Thank Heaven who mislaid that pistol,” I replied. “Had you forgotten
your bride, too?”
“Mon Dieu! I had! I thank you for reminding me. Ah, yes, I have some
consolation in life left, me!”
But though the Marchioness no doubt consoled him later, she was at that
moment in anything but a sympathetic mood.
“Well, my dear,” I overheard the General saying to her, “as you make
your bed so you must lie in it. This--er--Marquis, doesn't he call
himself?--of yours hasn't started very brilliantly, but, I dare say, by
the time he has been before the magistrate and cooled down, and had a
shave and so forth, he will do better. I shouldn't let him mix himself
up in any more of these plots of his, though, if I were you.”
She tossed her head, and the defiant flash of her eyes told her uncle
plainly to mind his own business; but I fear his words had stung her
more than he intended, for when her husband said to her, dramatically,
“My love, we have failed!” she merely replied, with a sarcastic air,
“Naturaly; what else could you have expected?”
She beamed upon me with contrasting kindness, lingered to say farewell
to the admiring Teddy, who had just been presented to her, went by her
uncle with a disdainful glance, and then the happy couple passed out of
this story.
“A devilish fine woman!” said Teddy.
“Others have made the same reflection,” I replied.
“And now, monsieur,” said Dick, “I think it's about time we were getting
back to London, bath, and breakfast.”
“Carriage is ready, sir,” said the voice of Halfred.
“Whose carriage?”
“Carriage as we came down in, sir. I've give the driver the tip, and
he's waiting behind them trees.”
“But what about all these unfortunate gentlemen?”
“Thought as 'ow they might prefer travelling in the van they comed
in,” he replied, with a semblance of great gravity.
But I had not the hardihood to do this, and concerning my journey to
town with my dinnerless, sleepless, and breakfastless guests, I should
rather say as little as possible.
I confess I envied the Marquis accompanying his escort of constables.
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