The recent disclosures concerning the enormous stocks of frozen mutton
held by the Ministry of Food--some of it killed two years ago--have
put the Government on their mettle, and a vigorous campaign is now in
preparation with the object of inducing the public to assist in the
disposal of these overgrown supplies. Mr. Punch, being in touch with
sources of information not accessible to the general Press, has been
able to secure an advance copy of a popular appeal Which is about to
be issued broadcast by the Government. It runs as follows:--
"Men, Women and Children of the United Kingdom!"
"The time has now arrived when each one of you is privileged to
illumine these drab days of peace with a show of patriotism no less
brilliant than that which lit up the dark years of war. The task that
is demanded is a simple one, and no heavy price is exacted; all that
is required is a single-minded concentration upon the one essential
need of the moment.
"Your Government, solicitous as always for your welfare, has during
the past two years accumulated a vast store of nutritious mutton
to safeguard you against the peril of starvation. That danger being
happily averted, it is now up to you to eat the stuff. This is not
a problem that can be tackled by half-measures. If you desire to
preserve the financial stability of the Empire, and if you do not wish
to go on eating antiquated corpses of Australasian sheep for the rest
of your lives, you must set your teeth in grim earnest, eating against
time and chewing over time. You must consume mutton for breakfast,
mutton for luncheon, mutton for tea and mutton for dinner. In fact,
each one of you must in the interests of the State become a mutton
glutton.
"Do you shrink from the task? Do you shirk the chop now that you
know what is at stake? An army marches on its stomach; the nation's
well-being hangs on yours. Henceforth, until the 'Cease Fire' sounds,
you must fall upon the domestic enemy as our gallant soldiers fell
upon the alien foe. No quarter must be given, no quarter, fore or
hind, be permitted to escape. Beef must be banned and veal avoided as
the plague; no Briton worthy of the name will claim a fowl.
"What are you going to do about it? Do you intend (to borrow a
Trans-atlantic phrase) to give the frozen mitt to the frozen mutt?
Or are you going to take it to your bosom and give it there, or
thereabouts, the home for which it has so long been vainly seeking?
"Do it now and do it always. Let your daily motto be--'_Revenons à nos
moutons_.'"
In addition to the foregoing, every British housewife is to be
supplied with a valuable booklet containing a number of official
recipes for dealing with mutton. Among the tasty dishes thus described
may be mentioned Whitehall Hash, Ministerial Mince, Reconstruction
Rissoles, Control Cutlets and Separation Stew.
Mr. Punch also learns that in honour of the campaign the Yeomen of the
Guard are henceforth to be popularly known as the "Muttoneaters."
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