_How doth the Barrister delight,_
_According to his sort,_
_To mix in any form of fight_
_In any kind of Court._
When Nurse's temper runs amok,
And Cook is by the ears,
And all the home is terror-struck
By notices and tears,
And Madame begs me estimate
What argument or bounce'll
Restore and keep the peace, I state
Opinion of Counsel:--
"With language dignified and terse
And with a haughty look
I should annihilate the Nurse
And coldly crush the Cook;
And, if they started in to weep,
A word would make them stow it:--
'That's not effective, merely cheap;
And, what is more, you know it.'"
"You'd bring the Cook," says she, "to book
By just a look?" "I should."
"By something terse you'd make the Nurse
Feel even worse?" "I would."
"You'd say to weep was merely cheap
And, what was more, they knew it?"
"I should," say I; and her reply
Is: "Come along and do it."
_How doth the Barrister delight_
_In any low resort,_
_And hurry from the losing fight_
_To seek another Court._
* * * * *
"Mme. Tetrazzini had not been heard in London for five years
and some little ooooooo aaaaaaaay shd cf cwyyy might have been
busy on her voice. Well, it has scarcely."--_South African
Paper_.
Her many admirers will be glad to know this.
* * * * *
[Illustration: BEHIND THE SCENES IN CINEMA-LAND.
"HAND OVER YOUR MONEY!"
"CERTAINLY, MY GOOD MAN. NOW I DON'T WANT TO BE PERSONAL, BUT YOU'VE
GOT THE VERY FACE I WANT FOR MY NEW FILM, 'THE BAD MAN OF CRIMSON
CREEK.' I'LL GIVE YOU FIFTY POUNDS A WEEK FOR AN EXCLUSIVE CONTRACT.
CAN I TEMPT YOU?"]
* * * * *