_Which contains several very curious Conversations betwixt the
King and our Author._
'Tis not to be imagin'd how assiduous this Monarch was at first
to see us at work, and how attentive to hear us talk of our Part
of the World. Above all, he took an unspeakable Pleasure in
conversing about the Sciences, and particularly Philosophy, in
which he exercis'd himself very much: And we were seldom
together, but he put some Question to me in Natural Philosophy,
and Mechanics, or Astronomy.
He was mightily fond of the System of _Copernicus_, and to his
Praise be it spoken, I made him easily comprehend all the
different Motions which the Earth was under a Necessity of making
to answer the apparent Motions according to the Opinion of the
Vulgar, which are distinguish'd by Diurnal from West to East, by
annual round the Sun, the Motion of the fix'd Stars, and the two
Motions of Vibration ascrib'd heretofore to the Crystalline
Heavens. For I took a Bowl, and having mark'd on it the chief
Points and Circles of a Terrestrial Globe, I shew'd him how the
Earth turn'd from West to East round its Centre in a Natural Day,
and in the Space of 365 Days 6 Hours wanting 11 Minutes, round
the Sun, which I plac'd in the Centre of the World. I afterwards
observ'd to him how this annual Motion was not perform'd upon the
Equator but according to the Ecliptic, because the Axis of the
Earth, instead of being perpendicular to the Plan of the annual
Circle, inclines to it on both Sides 23 Degrees 30 Minutes which
we call the Motion of Parallelism. Then we discours'd of the
fourth Motion occasion'd by the Impulsion or Pressure which the
Earth feels more or less according to the Places where it passes
in its Tour; for by that means it happens that its Axis rises or
falls sometimes several Minutes, and that consequently the
Ecliptic appears nearer the Equator at certain Times than at
others. This is also explain'd perfectly well by the subtile
Matter which enters and passes by the Vortexes; but I did not
choose then to expatiate upon a Point which perhaps would have
puzzled him, or at least requir'd more Time. As to the
Calculation of Eclipses, this Prince understood it as well as
_Copernicus_ himself; he reason'd very well about Comets,
Planets, Meteors, and all the most agreeable Parts of Natural
Philosophy. But he was absolutely ignorant of the Cause of the
Ebbing and Flowing of the Sea, which he had indeed scarce ever
heard of; and he was all in Admiration to hear of the Proportion
of Spaces which Falling Bodies pass through in certain determin'd
Times, of the Vibration of Pendulums, of the Force of the Lever,
and in general of every thing relating to Statics.
Fire-Arms were also quite unknown to him, but the bad Use that
they were put to, took off his liking to them. Nothing affected
him with so much Horror as the Narratives I gave him now and
then, of our Wars and bloody Battles. He could not conceive how
People could be so silly as to rush into Slaughter, and to the
Destruction of their Species, for such trifling Causes, and often
only for gratifying the Covetousness, Ambition, or Caprice of one
Man. 'Tis near four Centuries ago, he said to me one Day, that
the King then reigning was declar'd incapable, because under
pretence of his Origin and such a miraculous Birth, as
distinguish'd him from other Men, he treated his Subjects at his
Will and Pleasure. You would have said, added he, that his Vanity
was sufficient to excite him to great Undertakings in order to
maintain himself on the Throne; but so far from it, that he
scarce said a Word in his own Vindication, and to appease the
Wrath of those who sent him to the Mines; and when he heard it
was his People's Will, he instantly obey'd. And I swear to you,
that instead of exposing Armies to the Fury of my Enemies, I
would rather by a thousand times be the meanest Man in my
Kingdom, than keep the Sovereignty at the Expence of one single
Man's Life.
I own, said I, that there is something cruel and inhuman in War;
but just Wars are often enter'd into, and then God himself gives
a Sanction to them, and as a Mark that he takes Pleasure in them,
he has term'd himself the _God of Hosts_. O Heavens! said the
King, What's that you say? I am angry to hear you talk so. 'Tis
very well for you that none of our Judges hears you, for tho' you
are but a Stranger, you would pass your Time very ill; because,
according to our Principles, you could not have utter'd a more
enormous Blasphemy. I ask your Pardon, Sir, said I; the most holy
Men that have written our Law, affect in many Places thus to
characterise the Deity: To him alone they ascribe all the
Victories and Conquests obtained by the _Jews_, and they put him
at the Head of their Troops like a formidable General, who
demolishes every thing in his way. I am far from thinking it a
Crime to tread in the Steps of such great Men, and to have their
Lives, Precepts, and Sentiments in Veneration; yet I have so much
Respect for your Person, that I had rather be for ever silent,
than give you any Cause of Disgust. What, said the King, do your
Legislators talk in this Strain? Really, I think it very
extraordinary that a God, who, according to you, forbids the
shedding of one Man's Blood, should authorise a general Slaughter
of whole Nations. There is undoubtedly a great deal of Passion
and Cruelty in your Laws; the very Thought of it makes me shiver.
Let us talk no more of it, for fear I should say more than you
would choose to hear. I am really charm'd with your Sciences, but
your Religion and your Politicks don't please me at all. That's
because you don't understand 'em, Sir, said I; I want Books, and
am not a Divine good enough to convert you; but we have a
thousand Doctors in our Country capable of pointing out so many
Marks of the Divinity in our Bible, and to shew you the Contents
of it so clearly that you wou'd be forc'd to give your Consent to
it as much as to any Demonstration in the Mathematics.
Very well, reply'd the King; but till such time as we see one,
tell me, how those Armies which you talk to me so much of, are
compos'd and subsisted, how they fight, what Reward the
Conquerors have, and what Profit the Widows and Orphans; whether
such Wars have no End, and whether you never have a Peace. Very
seldom, Sir, said I: The Earth is immensely great, in comparison
to your Empire; there's a vast Number of such Kingdoms in the
Parts from whence we came. So many great Lords cannot possibly
live long without a Misunderstanding: The Interests of the Royal
Families, more than those of private Men, often cause Broils.
Jealousy, the Desire of Aggrandisement, Precedence, the Diversity
of Religions almost in every Kingdom; all these things are Causes
of Ruptures, which are seldom accommodated till there has been a
great Effusion of Blood. We have an Empire call'd _Spain_, in the
Bowels of which a War broke out some time ago, which rag'd fifty
or sixty Years, and cost the Lives of a Million of Men.
The prevailing Religion of that Country, and in which I was born,
is the Christian, which differs extremely from all others; nor
have all that profess it the same Sentiments in every respect.
The greatest part pretend, 'tis not sufficient to worship one
God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, but that Prayers should
also be made to the departed Saints, to the end that they may
intercede for us in Paradise. The Prelates of this Church injoin
the Necessity of believing Purgatory, which is a Place full of
Fire and Brimstone, where, after Death, Souls are to fry in
Torment, for a certain Number of Years, more or less, according
to the Crimes they have committed, that they may be enabled to
appear pure and undefiled before the Throne of God. This same
Church demands a Confession that Jesus Christ is alive still in
Flesh and Bones, and altogether as large, as when he was
crucify'd, in a Wafer or Piece of Paste no bigger than the Palm
of one's Hand, which the Priest gives to every Layman on certain
Days of the Year appropriated to that Ceremony, _&c_. Many People
finding these Maxims as inconsistent with common Sense, as they
are with the Precepts contain'd in the sacred Book of our Laws,
thought in their Consciences they should be to blame if they
observ'd them. The Clergy perceiving this Disorder in the Church,
erected a severe Tribunal, which impos'd great Penalties on those
that took the Liberty to reform the Divine Worship. To this we
must add, that besides the Clergy who drain'd the People's
Purses, and took their Money for reading Prayers, by which they
pretended effectually to deliver the Souls of their Ancestors out
of Purgatory, the King's Officers loaded them every Day with new
Taxes, insomuch that the most resolute Inhabitants, in order to
shake off the Yoke, form'd secret Cabals, and made themselves
Masters of some wall'd Cantons or Cities. Thereupon Commerce
decay'd, the Labourers suffer'd for want of Work, and a Foreign
Prince puts himself at the Head of the Malecontents, who are
join'd by other Monarchs jealous of the King of _Spain_'s
Greatness, who only seek to raise themselves upon his Ruin.
Companies of Tradesmen are form'd, who are glad to serve for
their Subsistence. Of these Companies, which consist of 100 Men,
more or less, with their proper Officers, are form'd Regiments,
and of these Regiments Armies, which are commanded by Generals
experienced in the Art of War, who take care to furnish them with
Arms, Clothes, and all sorts of Ammunition, at the Expence of the
Public, whom the Magistrates charge with Subsidies for that
Purpose. When the Forces are ready in the Field, a thousand
Artifices and Stratagems are invented and made use of to surprise
the Enemy; at length they come to close Engagement, and after
they have fought a whole Day many times, it happens sometimes
that the greatest Advantage which the Conqueror has to boast of
is, having kept the Field of Battle, which costs him upon those
Occasions 15 or 20000 fighting Men, while perhaps his Enemy
retreats about 500 Paces, with the Loss of not half that Number.
When the one has intirely defeated the other, he improves his
Victory by gaining Countries and Towns, where sometimes he lays
all waste with Fire and Sword. Mean time his Adversary endeavours
to recruit himself, either by raising new Troops, or by
contracting Alliances with other Princes whom he draws into his
Party. Then he returns to the Charge, when Fortune declares
sometimes for the one, sometimes for the other, till their Men
and Money are exhausted, and they are forc'd to come to an
Accommodation; which is sure to last not long, because there are
turbulent Spirits that never want Pretences to disturb the
Tranquillity.
But what becomes of those Troops? said the King. They are
disbanded, I reply'd. That's well, continu'd he, for the Ease of
the People; but are Men who are accustom'd in War-time to a
licentious way of living, and undoubtedly to all sorts of
Pleasures, are such fit for any other Imployment? and how do they
subsist when their Pay is at an end? I have already told your
Majesty, said I, that there's an infinite Number of Countries in
the World, govern'd by different Princes, so that when Troubles
are over in one Place, they generally begin again in another, to
which the Soldiers repair for Employment; or else they return
home to their Callings. I confess, however, that there's a great
Number, who having lost the Spirit of Industry, or not knowing
any Trade to follow, beg from Door to Door with their Wives and
Children (and if they dy'd in the Wars, their Widows and Orphans
do the same), or else abandon themselves to ill Courses for a
better Livelihood. Some rob upon the Highway, others coin Money,
and some keep company with lewd Women, whom they help to ruine,
and sometimes to murder such as haunt the Stews. In short, there
are no Intrigues but what they commit to support their idle
Courses, which obliges honest People to take very great care that
they ben't gull'd by them, as they but too often are. I could
confirm this Truth by a hundred shocking Instances, but one shall
suffice at present, to give you an Idea of the rest.
About eight Months before I left _Paris_, that famous City,
which is the Metropolis of the finest Kingdom in _Europe_, a
Counsellor of the Parliament travelling in his Coach, in a
By-Street, where there was but little Trade, spy'd a very pretty
young Woman at a distance, who by extending her Arms, joining her
Hands, and lifting up her Eyes sometimes to Heaven, and then
calling them down to the Earth, gave Proofs that she was in some
very great Agonies of Grief. The Noise of the Coach-Wheels and
the Horses, made her stop all of a sudden, so that she
immediately wiped her Face, and with a slow Pace walk'd on. The
Counsellor, who soon overtook her, halted, and ask'd her very
civilly, what was the Matter. I see, said he, you have been
weeping plentifully, has any Disaster happen'd to your Family?
Speak freely, you are happily fallen into good Hands; there are
many People who would take an Advantage of the Confusion you are
in, but from me you have nothing to fear. I am a frank honest
Man, of some Reputation, and if I can be of Service to you in any
thing, I will exert my self with all the Zeal I'm capable of.
Tho' the Girl was no more than sixteen or seventeen Years old,
she put on a serious Air at first, and held it out stifly for a
long time, that she ail'd nothing, that she did not want his
Protection, tho' however she was oblig'd to him for the Offer,
and that all she desired of him was, that he would let her
proceed. But at length, after many Intreaties, which were the
real Effect of the Gentleman's compassionate Temper, the young
Woman falling again into Tears, which she could refrain no
longer, said to him, You are in the right, Sir, I am not my self,
I am disorder'd in my Mind, I run up and down like one mad, and
am within an Ace sometimes of making away with my self. I am the
only Daughter of a Father who perfectly ador'd me. My Will was a
Law to him, which he took a Pleasure in observing, whatever it
was; so that I never ask'd him any thing but he immediately
granted it. But about a Twelvemonth ago, when he was in the Prime
of his Years, God call'd him to himself, at which time the
Thoughts of our Separation gave him a thousand times more
Uneasiness than the Prospect of Death. He was so loth to leave
me, that he recommended me, in the most earnest manner, to the
Care of his Wife, my Mother-in-law, who promis'd him whatever he
desir'd, embrac'd me in his Presence, and swore by an Oath,
accompany'd with a Torrent of Tears, that I should for ever have
a Share in her tenderest Friendship. But alas! my poor Father had
scarce clos'd his Eyes, when she began to tyrannize over me in
such a manner, that there is scarce a Moment but she insults and
threatens me; from Menaces she often proceeds to Blows; and this
very Day, after having us'd me extremely ill, she turn'd me out
of Doors. That's bad indeed, said the Counsellor; you have
reason, without dispute, to complain; come into my Coach, if you
please; I must make you Friends, if possible, or at least know
what's the Cause of such a dangerous Quarrel. She express'd a
Reluctance against taking him home with her; she was very fearful
of being seen, and her Mother-in-law's Indignation made her
tremble; but she was fain to comply at last. The Widow's House
made a goodly Appearance, and was separated from the Street by a
strong Wall, and a large Yard before the Door. The Counsellor
having sent in to know whether the Gentlewoman was at leisure,
was carry'd into a fine Hall, hung with Tapestry, to which Madam
came in a Moment. He was surpris'd to find her a tall handsome
Woman, about fifty Years of Age, with a sweet engaging
Countenance, and the Porte of a Queen, rather than the Widow of a
private Man. After mutual Compliments, he gave her an exact
Account of what had pass'd betwixt him and her Daughter, shew'd
her what would be the Consequence, and having begg'd her Pardon
for the Liberty he took to intermeddle in an Affair which was
properly Domestic, he intreated her very courteously to tell him
the Reason of the Difference. The old Lady thank'd him for the
kind Concern he shew'd for her Family, and did not spare to
reproach her Daughter-in-law; but at length, in Complaisance to
the Arbitrator, Miss was sent for in, restor'd to Madam's good
Graces, and they made reciprocal Promises, the one to be very
obedient for the future, the other to be more indulgent, and to
shew all the tender Regard that a Mother is capable of to a Child
of her own, which was very much to the Satisfaction of the
Counsellor, who was glad at his Heart that he had been so
successful a Mediator. Then the Daughter was order'd to withdraw,
and Madam took that Opportunity to confess her vast Obligation to
the Counsellor. She earnestly intreated him to bring her into the
Acquaintance of his Lady, that she might have more Opportunities
of being benefited by his wholesome Counsels: She hop'd he would
vouchsafe to honour her with his Company at Dinner, the rather
because the Cloth was already laid, and as she had invited some
Friends, she was the better prepar'd to regale him with three or
four good Dishes. This Compliment was utter'd with so good a
Grace, that the Counsellor gave his Consent, order'd his
Coachman to go home and tell his Family not to wait for him, and
bid him return again with the Coach in two Hours. Mean time the
Lady, with his Leave, retir'd to give Orders concerning the
Dinner. As he was walking alone, expecting her Return, he
accidentally struck his Elbow against the Hangings, and found a
void Space, which excited his Curiosity to lift them up, when, to
his great Astonishment, he saw the naked Corps of a Man all
bloody, who seem'd to have been but lately murder'd, extended at
full length upon a Bed of Straw contriv'd in the Wall. This
horrid Spectacle, which threaten'd him with the like Fate, made
him run precipitantly out of the Room, and when he was got into
the middle of the Yard, some body saw him and call'd to him,
intreating him to have a little Patience, adding, that the old
Lady would be with him in a Trice, that every thing was ready to
be serv'd up, _&c_. But all these fine Words could not stop him.
He told them, as he ran out, that something was just come into
his Head which would admit of no Delay, that he would be back
again almost as soon as gone, and that fall to as soon as they
pleas'd, there would be enough left for him. Just as he was got
out of the Gate, who shou'd enter but four great cut-throat
Villains, who were hir'd no doubt to reward him for his good
Offices; but they came a little too late, so that the honest Man
escap'd the Snare that was laid for him, and the old Bawd and the
young Whore had the Mortification to find that they had acted
their Parts in vain.
Verily, said the King, that was a Stratagem deep enough to have
caught the wisest Man in the World; but what was the Consequence
of it? Was no Search made after the Criminals, that they might be
punish'd for an Example to such Ruffians? None at all, said I.
People who are too busy upon such Occasions, generally come off
very scurvily. The Gangs of those Villains are so numerous, that
the least Disturbance you give any one of 'em, is sure to be
doubly reveng'd sooner or later, by the rest of them, either by
Day or by Night, upon you and yours, in one manner or another.
And is this all that you get, said the King, by the Wars to which
you are expos'd? I pity your Fate; for at this rate you are only
a Prey to the Wicked, and wretched Victims to the Ambition and
Self-Interest of your Sovereigns. The very Dogs have a better
time on't in my Country, than Men have in yours. You reason upon
your own Principles, said I, and we act according to ours: Every
one thinks his own Opinion the best, and is offended with those
that differ from him. 'Tis true, he reply'd, that Education has a
great Ascendant over our Minds. Our Ancestors would have been
content to be sacrificed rather than admit of the least Doubt of
the Excellence of their Origin. The Sun had engender'd them, as
they believ'd, and the Earth had brought them forth; but now, a
Man would be sent to the Mines that should go about to maintain
that Opinion. What we suck in with our Milk, we retain; the first
Lessons of our Preceptors are the most prevalent, and take such
deep Root, that the Winds of a contrary Opinion are not able to
shake them.
But as to your Ancestors, said I, were they all so ignorant of
the Nature of Things, that not one of them doubted of the Reality
of this pretended miraculous Birth? For, in short, nothing can be
more obvious than the impossibility of the Union of the Sun with
the Earth, and that those two inanimate Creatures, being
destitute of Understanding and Thought, are incapable of the
Effects which are so absurdly ascrib'd to them. Indeed, said the
King, there were some of a contrary Opinion, but no body durst
declare it, because if they had, the Populace were so
prepossess'd in favour of this idle Notion, that they would have
been ready to have cut 'em in pieces. Besides, the Kings, every
now and then, made use of a very extraordinary Stratagem to put
them out of the World, which contributed not a little to fortify
the others in their Opinion. They had contriv'd a subterraneous
Passage from the Palace to the Temple, under this Footstool,
where there was a great deep Well, and when any Person was
accus'd of having said any thing tending to invalidate the
Mystery of the Birth of the first Man, which was accounted no
less than Blasphemy, he was oblig'd to appear before the Court,
where the Governors never fail'd to condemn him to the Mines: But
the King, in order to be reputed a merciful Prince, immediately
revok'd the Sentence, on pretence that it had not been pass'd in
due Form, and according to the Rules of Equity, and order'd the
Assembly to repair to the Senate at Midnight, with all that had
a mind to be Spectators, nor did he fail to be upon his Throne at
the Time appointed. Then one of his Sons, Brothers, or nearest
Kindred, brought the Criminal before him, with his Hands ty'd
behind his Back, and made him sit upon the Footstool just now
mentioned: And the King, with his Eyes fix'd on the Ground,
pronounc'd four Verses with a loud Voice, in which, after
applauding the Justice of his Mother Earth, he call'd on her
instantly to swallow up either of the two that was most guilty in
the Sight of Heaven.
At that same time, a Person that lay conceal'd under the Stage,
unbolted a Trap-Door made on purpose in the Footstool, and the
poor Victim sunk down all at once into the deep Well underneath,
which was done so suddenly and dexterously, that the Door was
shut again as soon as open'd, so that it was hardly to be
perceiv'd. Nevertheless, in order to play their Game sure, they
took care that the Place should not be very much illuminated;
besides, as the Footstool was plac'd high, the Governors and
others present, who were sitting or kneeling, could not well see
what pass'd above, where, one of those concern'd in the Secret,
pretending as if he saw the Earth open, made a great Noise,
started back, and cry'd out as loud as if he was really afraid of
being swallow'd up alive with the guilty Person.
But how were those Impostures discover'd, said I? The King's
Priests, reply'd _Bustrol_, seeing their Master banish'd, and the
Face of Affairs quite chang'd, propos'd, on condition that they
might not be punish'd, to discover every pernicious Thing they
knew, for they were not only privy to the Secret, but engag'd by
an Oath to assist in those cruel Executions. The subterraneous
Passage is still in being, and when you please I'll shew it to
you. As to the Well, it is quite fill'd up, and the Trap-Door was
chang'd with the rest, and made a Part of the Cieling.
Another Imposture which was carry'd on several Centuries, is
this. When there happen'd to be any great Debates betwixt the
Sovereign and his Subjects, which threaten'd his Family with some
fatal Revolution, a Person who could be trusted with the Secret,
us'd to steal up into the Dome, between the Cupola and the
Cieling, where, when the Council was assembled, he bawl'd out as
loud as he could, thro' a Hole made for the Purpose, which
answer'd the Centre of the Copper Sun in the middle of the
Edifice, _My Son is righteous, and you are wicked_. This Voice,
which rattled over their Heads like Thunder, was extremely
surprising to the Assembly, and never fail'd of the desired
Effect. Some of them perhaps might have a Suspicion, but the
Generality were ready to swear that those Words were utter'd by
the Sun himself; and perhaps they would not have suffer'd any Man
that had but seem'd to entertain the least Suspicion, to have
gone unpunish'd.