_A Restore-Wrong Rhyme_
"_Attendance is charged in the bill!_"
Delighted we sit down to dine;
And order our food and our wine.
The waiter is passing polite,
We eat with a grand appetite
Of dishes compounded with skill.
The room is so cosy and light;
The glass and the silver are bright;
Our flag of defiance is furled,
We seem all at peace with the world,
And rest quite contented until----
Attendance is charged one and nine.
We pay its collector a fine;
And give to the waiter polite
A tip he regards as his right
And duty of ours to fulfil!
The carver, too, looks for a fee;
The man with our coat, so does he!
The porter expects something more,
Who calls us a cab at the door!----
"_Attendance is charged in the bill!_"
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[Illustration: THE GOLDEN KEY.--_Mr. Montgomerie._ "Ah! my dear boys,
you're right. The extent to which our English system of 'tipping' has
grown is something monstrous! Why, I can assure you--that--at some of
the big country houses I stop at, it costs me a ten-pound note _to get
out of 'em_!"
_Jones_ (_to his neighbour, sotto voce_). "Wonder how much it costs him
to _get into_ 'em?"]
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