Present: To split.
Past: To have been a party.
* * * * *
AFTER-DINNER CONSIDERATION.--"Hippopotamuses" is a better test-word of
fitness for joining the ladies than "British Constitution."
* * * * *
[Illustration: DISCUSSING AN ABSENT FRIEND
"Yes, Robinson's a clever feller, and he's a modest feller, and he's a
honest feller; but, betwixt you and I and the _post_, Mr. Jones," said
Brown, confidentially, picking his wisdom tooth with his little finger
nail, "Robinson ain't got neither the looks, nor yet the language, nor
yet the manners of a _gentleman_!"
"Right you are, sir!" said Jones, shovelling the melted remains of his
ice pudding into his mouth with a steel knife (which he afterwards wiped
on the tablecloth). "_You've 'it 'im orf to a T!_"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _First Convivial._ "'Sh two o'clock! Wha'll er misshus
shay?"
_Second Convivial._ "Thash allri'! Shay you bin wi' me--(_hic_)!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "IN CONFIDENCE"
_Dining-room, Apelles Club_
_Diner._ "Thomson, do the members ask for this wine?"
_Head Waiter (sotto voce)._ "Not twice, sir!"]
* * * * *