His opinion was that one ounce of suffering was worth more than a pound of
action; but then it must be of suffering sent by God, and not self-chosen.
Indeed, to endure pain which is of our own choosing is rather to do than
to suffer, and, speaking in general, our having chosen it spoils our good
work, because self-love has insinuated itself into our motives. We wish to
serve God in one way, while He desires to be served in another; we wish
_what_ He wishes, but not _as_ He wishes it. We do not submit ourselves
wholly and as we should do to His will.
A person who was very devout and who was accustomed to spend much time
in mental prayer, being attacked with severe headache, was forbidden by
her doctor to practise this devotion, as it increased her suffering and
prevented her recovery. The patient much distressed at this prohibition
wrote to consult our Blessed Father on the subject, and this is his reply:
"As regards meditation," he says, "the doctors are right. While you are
so weak, you must abstain from it; but to make up you must double your
ejaculatory prayers, and offer them all to God as an act of acquiescence
in His good pleasure, which, though preventing you from meditating, in no
way separates you from Himself, but, on the contrary, enables you to unite
yourself more closely to Him by the practice of calm and holy resignation.
What matters it how or by what means we are united to God? Truly, since
we seek Him alone, and since we find Him no less in mortification than in
prayer, especially when He visits us with sickness, the one ought to be as
welcome to us as the other. Moreover, ejaculatory prayers and the silent
lifting of the heart to God, are really a continued meditation, and the
patient endurance of pain and distress is the worthiest offering we can
possibly make to Him who saved us through suffering. Read also occasionally
some good book that will fill up what is wanting to you of food for the
spirit."