One of Blessed Francis' most frequent sayings was: He who complains, seldom
does so without sinning. Now, you are anxious to know what exactly he
meant by this, and if it is not allowable to complain to superiors of
wrongs which have been done us, and when we are ill, to seek relief from
suffering, by describing our pains to the physician, so that he may apply
to them the proper remedies.
To put this interpretation on the words of Blessed Francis is to overstrain
their meaning. The letter killeth, and needs to be interpreted by the
spirit that quickeneth, that is, to be taken gently and sweetly.
Our Blessed Father condemns complaining when it borders upon murmuring. He
used to say that those who thus complained sinned, because our self-love
always magnifies unduly any wrongs done to ourselves, weighing them in the
most deceitful of balances, and applying the most extravagant epithets to
things which if done by us to others we should pass over as not worth a
thought.
He did not consider it at all wrong to claim from a court of justice,
quietly, calmly, and dispassionately, reparation of injuries done to our
property, person, or honour. He has, indeed, devoted a whole chapter in his
Philothea[1] to demonstrating that we may, without failing in humility or
charity, do what is necessary for the preservation of our good name. But
human weakness is such that it is difficult even in a court of justice to
keep our temper and retain a proper equanimity: hence the proverb that, in
a hundred-weight of law, there is not so much as an ounce of good nature.
It was also his wish that when sick we should state what ails us quite
simply and straightforwardly to those who can relieve us, always
remembering that God commands us to honour the physician.[2] To Philothea
he says: "When you are ill offer your sufferings, pains, and weakness to
the service of our Lord, and entreat Him to unite them to the torments
which He endured for you. Obey the physician; take medicine, food, and
other remedies for the love of God; remembering the gall which He accepted
for love of you. Desire to recover your health that you may serve Him, but,
if He so will, do not refuse to linger long upon your bed of pain, so as to
obey Him; in fine, be ready to die if that is His pleasure, that you may
praise and enjoy Him."[3]
It was his opinion that when we complain, however justly, a certain amount
of self-love is always at the bottom of the complaint, and that a habit of
grumbling is a positive proof of our being too tender of ourselves and too
cowardly.
After all, of what use are complaints? They do but beat the air and serve
to prove that if we suffer wrong it is with regret, with sadness, and not
without some desire of revenging ourselves. An ungreased wheel makes the
most noise in turning, and in like manner, he who has the least patience is
the first to grumble.
We must remember, however, that all men deceive themselves. Those who
complain do not mean to be considered impatient. On the contrary, they
tell you that if it were not this particular thing, they would speak and
act differently; but that, as it is, if God did not forbid vengeance they
would assuredly take it in the most signal manner. Poor Israelites! really
brought out of Egypt, but yet still hankering after the leeks and garlic of
that miserable country! Truly such feebleness of mind is pitiable, and most
unworthy of a soul avowedly consecrated to the service of the Cross of
Jesus Christ.
It is not that we are absolutely forbidden to complain under great
sufferings of body or mind, or under great losses. Job, the mirror of the
patient, uttered many complaints, yet without prejudice to that virtue
which made him so highly esteemed by God, and renders him famous in all
ages. It would not only be unwise, but possibly a sin, so to conceal bodily
suffering--under the pretext of being resolved not to complain--as to
refuse to have recourse to either physician or remedies, and thereby to
risk bringing ourselves down to the gates of the grave.
Even God, the All-Perfect, does not refrain from pouring forth His
complaints against sinners, as we know from many parts of Holy Scripture.
We must then in this matter preserve a just medium, and although it behoves
us sometimes to suffer in silence, yet at other times we must make known
our sufferings, since _that suffering is truly the most wretched which,
amid torments, has no voice_.[4]
The Son of God, the pattern of all perfection, wept and cried aloud at the
grave of Lazarus and on the Cross, showing that He pities our sufferings
and shares our griefs. The measure of our complainings must be fixed by
discretion, which St. Anthony calls the regent and ruler of the kingdom of
virtues, appointed to guard it from the encroachments of sin, ever striving
to gain dominion there.
Our Blessed Father gives us the following lesson on the subject: "We must,"
he says, "abstain from a but little noticed, yet most hurtful imperfection,
against which few people guard themselves. This is, that when we are
compelled to blame our neighbour or to complain of his conduct, which
should be as seldom as possible, we never seem to get done with the matter,
but go on perpetually repeating our complaints and lamentations; a sure
sign of irritation and peevishness and of a heart as yet destitute of true
charity. Great and powerful minds only make mourning about great matters,
and even these they dismiss as quickly as possible, never giving way to
passion or fretfulness."
[Footnote 1: Part iii. chap. vii.]
[Footnote 2: Eccles. xxxviii. 1, 12.]
[Footnote 3: Part iii. chap. 3.]
[Footnote 4: Virgil, Æneid I.]