There is no kind of disposition more displeasing to men than one which is
obstinate and contradictory. People of this sort are pests of conversation,
firebrands in social intercourse, sowers of discord. Like hedgehogs and
horse-chestnuts, they have prickles all over them, and cannot be handled.
On the other hand, a gentle, pliable, condescending disposition, which is
ready to give way to others, is a living charm. It is like the honeycomb
which attracts every sort of fly; it becomes everybody's master, because it
makes itself everybody's servant; being all things to all men, it wins them
all.
People of a peevish, morose disposition soon find themselves left alone
in a mighty solitude; they are avoided like thistles which prick whoever
touches them. Our Blessed Father always spoke with the highest praise of
the dictum of St. Louis, that we should never speak evil of anyone, unless
when by our silence we should seem to hold with him in his wrong-doing, and
so give scandal to others.
The holy King did not inculcate this from motives of worldly prudence,
which he detested; nor was he following the maxim of that pagan Emperor,
who declared that no one, in quitting the presence of his Sovereign, should
ever be suffered to go away dissatisfied, a saying dictated by cunning and
with the object of teaching his fellow-potentates to win men by fair words.
No, St. Louis was travelling by a very different road, and spoke in a truly
Christian spirit, desiring only to hinder disputes and contentions, and to
follow the advice of St. Paul, who wishes that we should _avoid contentions
and strivings_.[1] But if, when it is in our power to do so, we do not
openly condemn the fault or error of another, will not that be a sort of
connivance at, and consequently a participation in, the wrong-doing? Our
Blessed Father answers that difficulty thus: "When it is a question of
contradicting another, and of setting your opinion against his, it must
be done with the utmost gentleness and tact, and without any desire to
wound the feelings of the other; for nothing is gained by taking things
ill-temperedly."
If you irritate a horse by teasing him he will, if he has any mettle, take
the bit between his teeth and carry you just where he pleases. But when you
slacken the rein he stops and becomes tractable.
So it is with the mind of another; if you force it to assent, you humble
it; if you humble it, you irritate it; if you irritate it, you utterly lose
hold of it. The mind may be persuaded; it cannot be constrained; to force
it to believe is to force it from all belief. _Is mildness come upon us_?
says David; _then are we corrected_.[2] The Spirit of God, gentle and
sweet, is in the soft refreshing zephyrs, not in the whirlwind, nor in
the tempest. It is God's enemy, the devil, who is called a spirit of
contradiction; and such human beings as imitate him share his title.
[Footnote 1: Titus iii. 9.]
[Footnote 2: Psalm lxxxix. 10.]