Speaking, my dear sisters, as he often did, on the important subject
of brotherly or friendly reproof, our Blessed Father made use of words
profitable to us all, but especially to those who are in authority, and
have therefore to rule and guide others.
He said: "Truth which is not charitable proceeds from a charity which is
not true."
When I asked him how we could feel certain that our reproofs were given out
of sincere charity, he answered:
"When we speak the truth only for the love of God, and for the good of our
neighbour, whom we are reproving."
He added: "We must follow the counsels of the great Apostle St. Paul, when
he bids us reprove in a spirit of meekness.[1]
"Indeed gentleness is the intimate friend of charity and its inseparable
companion." This is what St. Paul means when he says that charity is
_kind_, and _beareth all things_, and _endureth all things_.[2] God, who
is Charity, guides the mild in judgment and teaches the meek. His way, His
Spirit, is not in the whirlwind, nor in the storm, nor in the tempest, nor
in the voice of many waters; but in a gentle and whispering wind. _Mildness
is come upon us_, says the Royal Psalmist, _and we shall be corrected_.[3]
Again Blessed Francis advised us to imitate the Good Samaritan, who poured
oil and wine into the wounds of the poor wayfarer fallen among thieves.[4]
He used to say that "to make a good salad you want more oil than either
vinegar or salt."
I will give you some more of his memorable sayings on this subject. Many
a time I have heard them from his own lips: "Always be as gentle as you
can, and remember that more flies are caught with a spoonful of honey than
with a hundred barrels of vinegar. If we _must_ err in one direction or
the other, let it be in that of gentleness. No sauce was ever spoilt by
too much sugar. The human mind is so constituted that it rebels against
harshness, but becomes perfectly tractable under gentle treatment. A mild
word cools the heat of anger, as water extinguishes fire. There is no soil
so ungrateful as not to bear fruit when a kindly hand cultivates it. To
tell our neighbour wholesome truths tenderly is to throw red roses rather
than red-hot coals in his face. How could we be angry with any one who
pelted us with pearls or deluged us with rose water! There is nothing more
bitter than a green walnut, but when preserved in sugar there is nothing
sweeter or more digestible. Reproof is by nature harsh and biting, but
confectioned in sweetness and warmed through and through in the fire of
charity, it becomes salutary, pleasant, and even delightful. _The just
will correct me with mercy, and the oil of the flatterer shall not anoint
my head_.[5] _Better are the wounds of a friend than the kisses of the
hypocrite_;[6] if the sharpness of the friend's tongue pierce me it is only
as the lancet of the surgeon, which probes the abscess and lacerates in
order to heal."
"But (I replied) truth is always truth in whatever language it may be
couched, and in whatever sense it may be taken." In support of this
assertion I quoted the words spoken by St. Paul to Timothy:
_Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season, reprove, entreat,
rebuke in all patience and doctrine; but, according to their own desires,
they will heap to themselves teachers having itching ears, and will,
indeed, turn away their hearing from the truth, but will be turned into
fables._[7]
Our Blessed Father replied: "The whole force of that apostolic lesson lies
in the phrase: _In all patience and doctrine_. Doctrine signifies truth,
and this truth must be spoken with patience. When I use the word patience,
I am trying to put before you an attitude of mind which is not one of
confident expectation, that truth will always meet with a hearty welcome,
and even some degree of acclamation; but an attitude of mind which is on
the contrary prepared to meet with repulse, reprobation, rejection.
"Surely, seeing that the Son of God was set for a sign of contradiction, we
cannot be surprised if His doctrine, which is the truth, is marked with the
same seal! Surprised! Nay, of necessity it must be so.
"Consider the many false constructions and murmurings to which the sacred
truths preached by our Saviour during His life on earth were exposed!
"Was not this one of the reproaches addressed by Him to the Jews: _If I say
the truth you believe me not._
"Was not our Lord Himself looked upon as an impostor, a seditious person,
a blasphemer, one possessed by the devil? Did they not even take up stones
to cast at him? Yet, He cursed not those who cursed Him; but repaid their
maledictions with blessings, possessing His soul in patience."
Blessed Francis wrote to me on this same subject a letter, which has since
been printed among his works, in which he expressed himself as follows:
"Everyone who wishes to instruct others in the way of holiness must be
prepared to bear with their injustice and unreasonableness, and to be
rewarded with ingratitude. Oh! how happy will you be when men slander you,
and say all manner of evil of you, hating the truth which you offer them.
Rejoice with much joy, for so much the greater is your reward in Heaven. It
is a royal thing to be calumniated for having done well, and to be stoned
in a good cause."
[Footnote 1: Gal. vi. 1.]
[Footnote 2: 1 Cor. xiii. 4, 7.]
[Footnote 3: Psalm lxxxix. 10]
[Footnote 4: St. Luke x. 34.]
[Footnote 5: Psalm cxl. 5.]
[Footnote 6: Prov. xxvii. 6.]
[Footnote 7: Tim. iv. 2, 4.]