THE MAN IN THE CELLULOID COLLAR
The amused smile which Mr. Pyecroft had worn when he had entered,
and which he had subdued to thoughtful sobriety while "Wormwood" was
assuaging the invalid's tribulations, began now to reappear. It grew.
Mrs. De Peyster could but notice it, for he was smiling straight at
her--that queer, whimsical, twisted smile of his.
"What is it?" she felt forced to ask.
"We three are not the only ones, my dear Angelica," he replied, "who
are trying to slip one across on Mrs. De Peyster. Our friend the
cabinet-maker is on the same job. I might remark, that he's about as
much a cabinet-maker as yourself."
"What is he?"
"A detective, my dear."
"A detective!"
"The variety known as 'private,'" enlarged Mr. Pyecroft.
"What--what makes you think so?"
"Well, I felt it my duty to keep an eye on our new
guest--unobtrusively, of course. When I slipped out a little while
ago it was to watch him. He was working in the library; entirely by
accident, my dear Angelica, my eye chanced to be at the keyhole. He
was examining the drawers of the big writing-table; and not paying so
much attention to the drawers as to the letters in them. And from
the rapidity with which he was examining the letters it was plain the
cabinet-maker knew exactly what he was after."
"What--do you think--it means?" breathed Mrs. De Peyster.
"Some person is trying to get something on Mrs. De Peyster," returned
Mr. Pyecroft. "What, I don't know. But the detective party, I've
got sized up. He's one of those gracious and indispensable
noblest-works-of-God who dig up evidence for divorce trials--lay traps
for the so-called 'guilty-parties,' ransack waste-paper baskets for
incriminating scraps of letters, bribe servants--and if they find
anything, willing to blackmail either side; remarkably impartial and
above prejudice in this respect, one must admit. Altogether a most
delectable breed of gentlemen. What would our best society do without
them? And then again, what would they do without our best society?"
Mrs. De Peyster did not attempt an answer to this conjectural dilemma.
"Twin and interdependent pillars of America's shining morality,"
continued Mr. Pyecroft. "Now, like you, Angelica," he mused, "I wonder
what the detective party is after; what the lofty Lady De Peyster can
have been doing that is spicy? However," smiling at her, "Angelica, my
dear, in the words of the great and good poet, 'We should worry.'"
It was only a moment later that Matilda burst into the room and closed
the door behind her. She was almost breathless.
"He asked me for the key to"--"your" almost escaped Matilda--"to Mrs.
De Peyster's suite. He'd been particularly ordered to touch up Mrs. De
Peyster's private desk, he said."
"And you gave him the key?" inquired Mr. Pyecroft, asking the very
question that was struggling at Mrs. De Peyster's lips.
"I told him I didn't have a key," said Matilda.
"Oh!" breathed Mrs. De Peyster.
"But," continued Matilda, "he said it didn't matter, for he said he'd
been brought up a locksmith. And he picked the lock right before my
eyes."
"That's one accomplishment of gentlemanliness I was never properly
instructed in," said Mr. Pyecroft regretfully, almost plaintively. "I
never could pick a lock."
"And where--is he now?" inquired Mrs. De Peyster.
"In Mrs. De Peyster's sitting-room, retouching her desk."
"He's certainly after something, and after it hot--and probably
something big," mused Mr. Pyecroft. "Any idea what it can be,
Matilda?"
Matilda had none.
"Any idea, Angelica?"
Mrs. De Peyster was beginning to have an idea, and a terrified idea;
but she likewise said she had none.
Mrs. De Peyster wished Mr. Pyecroft would go, so she could give way
to her feelings, talk with Matilda. But Mr. Pyecroft stretched out
his legs, settled back, clasped his hands behind his head, and looked
thoughtfully at the ceiling. He had an intellectual interest in some
imaginary escapade of the far-distant Mrs. De Peyster; but no more;
and he was obviously comfortable where he was.
Matilda started out, but was recalled by a glance of imperative appeal
from Mrs. De Peyster. And so the three sat on in silence for a time,
Mrs. De Peyster and Matilda taut with expectant fear, Mr. Pyecroft
loungingly unconcerned.
And thus they were still sitting when there was a knock, which Mr.
Pyecroft answered. The cabinet-maker entered. He wore a slouching,
ready-made suit and a celluloid collar with ready-made bow tie snapped
by an elastic over his collar-button--the conventional garb of the
artisan who aspires for the air of gentlemanliness while at work. His
face, though fresh-shaven, was dark with the sub-cutaneous stubble
of a heavy beard; his eyes were furtive, with that masked gleam of
Olympian all-confidence which a detective can never entirely mask.
"How are you, Miss Simpson?" he said to Matilda. "Your niece told me
I'd find you here, so I came right up. Could I have a word with you
outside?"
"Couldn't you have it here just as well," suggested Mr. Pyecroft--who
somehow had imperceptibly taken on an air of mediocrity. "We're all in
the family, you know."
"Mebbe it'd be better to have it here," agreed the cabinet-maker. "You
other two are living in the house, so I understand, because you're
hard up; so your needing money may help what I'm after." He suddenly
and visibly expanded with importance. "When the time comes to put my
cards on the table, I don't waste a minute in showing my hand. That
cabinet-maker business was all con. I'm an officer of the law."
"You don't say!" cried Mr. Pyecroft with a startled air.
"A detective. Brown's my name. I'm here hunting for something. I got
part of what I wanted, but not all. What I want isn't here, or I'd
have found it; there's only three or four places it'd have been locked
up. I know," he ended, with driving confidence, "that a letter was
written to Mrs. De Peyster by the Duke de Crécy saying he couldn't
marry her. That letter is what I'm after."
"Oh!" breathed Mr. Pyecroft. And then with his wide-eyed mediocrity,
"I wonder whom you represent."
"Mrs. Allistair!" exclaimed Matilda.
Mrs. De Peyster long since had been silently exclaiming the same.
"Why, what could Mrs. Allistair want it for?" queried the
futile-looking brother.
"Never mind who I represent, or the reasons of the party," said Mr.
Brown. "That letter is what I'm after, and I'm willing to pay for it.
That's what ought to concern you folks."
"But if there ever was such a letter," commented Mr. Pyecroft with his
simple-minded manner, "perhaps Mrs. de Peyster destroyed it."
"Perhaps she did. But I found two others he wrote her. And if she
didn't tear it up or burn it, I'm going to have it!"
He directed himself at Matilda, and spoke slowly, suggestively,
impressively. "Confidential servants, who think a bit of number one,
should be on the lookout for documents and letters that may be of
future value to themselves. I guess you get me. For the original of
the letter I'm willing to come across with five hundred dollars."
"But I have no such letter!" cried Matilda.
"I might make it a thousand," conceded the detective. "And," he added,
"the money might come in very handy for your sick sister there."
"But I tell you I have no such letter!"
"Say fifteen hundred, then."
"But I haven't got it!" cried Matilda.
"Perhaps you may have it without knowing what it is. Some of his
letters he signed only with an initial. Here is a sample of the Duke's
handwriting--one of his letters I found."
"I tell you I have--"
"Pardon me, Mr. Brown," interrupted the ineffectual-looking Mr.
Pyecroft. "May I see the handwriting, please?"
Firmly holding it in his own hands, the detective displayed the letter
to Mr. Pyecroft--an odd, foreign hand, the paper of superfine quality,
but without crest or any other embossing. Mr. Pyecroft studied it
closely; his look grew puzzled; then he turned to Matilda.
"I don't exactly remember, Matilda, but it seems to me that there was
handwriting like this among the letters you sent to me to keep for
you."
Matilda gaped at Mr. Pyecroft. Mrs. De Peyster, half-rising on an
elbow, peered in amazed stupefaction at her incalculable young man of
the sea.
"Why, of course, she'd have turned it over to some one else for
safe-keeping!" the detective cried triumphantly. "Where is it?" he
demanded of Mr. Pyecroft.
"I'm not so sure I have it," said the shallow Mr. Pyecroft
apologetically. "It just seems to me that I saw writing like this.
If I have, it's over in a little room I keep. But if I really do have
it"--with the shrewd look of a small mind--"we couldn't sell it for
fifteen hundred."
"How much d'you want?"
"Well"--Mr. Pyecroft hesitated--"say--say three thousand."
"Good God, that's plain blackmail!"
"It may be, but poor people like us don't often get a chance like
this."
"I won't pay it!"
"Perhaps, then,"--apologetically,--"we'd better deal with Mrs.
Allistair direct."
"Oh, well,--if you've got the letter, we won't scrap about the price.
I'll come across."
"Cash?" shrewdly queried the doltish brother.
"Sure. I don't run no risks with checks."
"I--we--wouldn't let the letter go out of our hands until it's paid
for. And we won't go to any office. You yourself can say whether it's
what you want or not? And you can pay right here?"
"Sure. I'm the judge of what I want. And when I go for a big thing,
I go prepared." Mr. Brown opened his coat, and significantly patted a
bulge on the right side of his vest.
"Well, then, I'll go to my room and see if I have it. But you'll have
to wait here, for"--again with the shrewd look of the ineffectual
man--"you might follow me, and with some more detectives you might
take the letter from me."
"Soon wait here as anywhere else. Anyhow, I'll want your sister's
word," nodding at Matilda, "that the letter is the same. But don't
worry--nobody's going to take anything from you."
Mr. Pyecroft started out, then paused.
"I just happened to remember; you said the letter might not be signed.
Hadn't you better let me have one of the Duke de Crécy's letters, so I
can verify the handwriting?"
"I don't mind; these don't tell much." And the detective handed over
one letter.
"It may be an hour or two before I can get back; the letters are
packed away and I've got to go through them and compare them."
He slipped out. Mr. Brown, as he watched him, could hardly conceal his
contempt.
The detective sat heavily down. Mrs. De Peyster was sick with
apprehension as to what that incomprehensible Mr. Pyecroft was about
to do. She wanted to talk to Matilda. But the two dared not speak with
this confident, omniscient, detectorial presence between them. Mr.
Brown condescendingly tried to make conversation by complimenting
Matilda on her shrewdness; he'd helped a lot of clever servants like
her to snug little fortunes.
But Matilda proved a poor conversationalist.
Close upon two hours passed before Mr. Pyecroft returned. He drew a
letter from his pocket, firmly gripped its edges with both hands, and
held it out to Mr. Brown.
"Is this the one?"
"Didn't I tell you not to be afraid; no one's going to steal it from
you."
He took the letter from Mr. Pyecroft's unwilling and untrustful hands
and glanced it through. The next moment it was as though an arc light
of excitement had been switched on within his ample person. With
swift, expert fingers he compared the texture of the paper of the new
letter and the earlier ones.
"Great God!" he exulted. "Same paper--same handwriting--and it says
just what I expected--and signed 'De Crécy'!"
He held out the letter to Matilda.
"Of course, you identify this as the letter you found?"
But Matilda shrank away as though the letter was deadly poison.
"I never saw the thing before!"
"What's that?" cried the detective.
"She's trying to hold out for more money," explained Mr. Pyecroft.
From behind the detective's broad back he gave Matilda a warning look;
then said softly: "Of course, it's the letter, isn't it, sister?"
Matilda thought only of saving the hour. The day would have to save
itself.
"Yes," she said.
"Might--might I see it?" huskily inquired Mrs. De Peyster.
"Sure. The more that corroborates it the better."
Her face to the wall, the faint light slanting across her shoulder,
she glanced at the letter. The Duke's own handwriting! And a jilting
letter!--politely worded--but a jilting letter!... Mrs. De Peyster
jilted!... If that were ever to come out--
For a moment she lay enfeebled and overwhelmed with horror. Then
convulsively she crushed the letter in her hands.
"See here--wha' d' you mean?" cried the startled detective, springing
forward; in a moment his powerful hands rescued the document.
"Both of my sisters think we ought to stand out for more money,"
apologized Mr. Pyecroft. "And I'm not so sure they're not right."
"We've made our bargain already," quickly returned Mr. Brown. "And
that's just how we'll settle."
He started to slip the letter into a pocket. But Mr. Pyecroft caught
hold of it.
"How about the money?"
"You mean you don't trust me?"
"I'm not saying that," apologized Mr. Pyecroft. "But this means a lot
to us. We can't afford to run any risks."
"All right, then."
[Illustration: "SAME PAPER--SAME HANDWRITING!"]
Mr. Brown released the letter, drew a leather wallet from inside his
vest, counted off six five-hundred-dollar bills, returned the wallet
and held out the bills. The exchange was made. The detective carefully
put the letter into a thick manila envelope, which he licked and
sealed and put inside his vest to keep company with the wallet.
Mr. Pyecroft counted the bills, slowly, three or four times; then
looked up.
"I bet my sisters were right; you would have paid more," he said
regretfully, greedily.
"Never you mind what I would have paid!" retorted the detective,
buttoning his coat over the letter.
"You'd have paid twice that!" Mr. Pyecroft exclaimed disappointedly.
The detective, triumphant, could not resist grinning confirmingly.
"We've been outwitted!" cried Mr. Pyecroft. He turned to the two woman
contritely. "If I'd only heeded you--let you have managed the affair!"
"You people got a mighty good price," commented Detective Brown.
"Well--perhaps so," sighed Mr. Pyecroft. Chagrin gave way to curiosity
in his face. "I wonder, now, how Mrs. Allistair is going to use the
letter?"
"That's none of my business."
"She must think she can do a lot with it," mused Mr. Pyecroft. "If
the letter, or its substance, were printed, say in 'Town Gossip,' I
suppose it would mean the end of Mrs. De Peyster's social leadership,
and Mrs. Allistair would then have things her own way."
"Can't say," said the detective. But he winked knowingly.
When he had gone Mr. Pyecroft stood listening until the descending
tread had thinned into silence. Then he turned about to Mrs. De
Peyster and Matilda, and his wide mouth twisted up and rightward into
that pagan, delighted smile of his. He laughed without noise; but
every cell of him was laughing.
"Well, sisters dear, we're cleaning up--eh! I had the devil's own time
matching that letter-paper at Brentanos', and I ran a pretty big risk
leaving the house--but, say, it was worth it!" For a moment he could
only laugh. "First, let's split the pile. I told you I was always
square with my pals. Here's a thousand for you, Angelica,"--slipping
two bills under Mrs. De Peyster's pillow,--"and a thousand for you,
Matilda,"--thrusting the amount into her hands,--"and a thousand for
your dear brother Archibald,"--slipping his share into a vest pocket.
Neither of the two women dared refuse the money.
"But--but," Mrs. De Peyster gasped thickly, "it's an outrageous
forgery!"
"A forgery, I grant you, my dear Angelica," Mr. Pyecroft said
good-humoredly. "But if by outrageous you mean crude or obvious, I
beg to correct you. Even if I must say it myself, that forgery was
strictly first-class."
"But it's a forgery!" repeated Mrs. De Peyster.
"My dears, don't you worry about that," he reassured them soothingly.
"There'll be no comeback. That detective and his agency, and Mrs.
Allistair behind them, first tried robbery, then tried bribery.
They're all in bad themselves. So stop worrying; you're in no danger
at all from arrest for forgery or fraud. There'll never be a peep from
any of them."
This seemed sound reasoning, but Mrs. De Peyster did not acknowledge
herself comforted.
"Besides," Mr. Pyecroft went on, with a sudden flash of wrathful
contempt, "if there's anybody under God's sun I like to slip something
over on it's those damned vermin of private detectives! And the swells
that employ them! I hope that Mrs. Allistair gets stung good and
plenty!"
"But Mrs. De Peyster!" wailed that lady--she couldn't help it, though
she tried to keep inarticulate her sense of complete annihilation.
"When they publish that letter the damage will have been done. It's a
forgery, but nobody will believe her when she says so, and she can't
prove it! She'll be ruined!"
"Well," Mr. Pyecroft commented casually, "I don't see where that
bothers us. She's pretty much of a stiff, too, and I wouldn't mind
handing her one while we're at it. But, Lord, this won't hurt her a
bit."
Mrs. De Peyster sat suddenly upright.
"Not hurt her?"
"Didn't I tell you?" chortled Mr. Pyecroft. "Why, when our excellent
friend, Mr. Brown, presents the Duke's letter to-morrow morning to his
chief, or to Mrs. Allistair's agent,--if he ever gets that far,--he
will turn triumphantly over one sheet of Brentanos' very best
notepaper--blank."
"Blank?" cried Mrs. De Peyster.
Mr. Pyecroft's right eyelid drooped in its remarkable wink; his mouth
again tilted high to starboard in its impish smile.
"You see," he remarked, "the Duke's letter was written in an ink of my
own invention. One trifling idiosyncracy of that ink is that it fades
completely and permanently in exactly twelve hours."