INSUBORDINATION FOLLOWED BY ELEVATION--A MIDSHIPMAN TRICED UP IN
MID-AIR, AFFORDING A PRACTICAL LESSON ON OSCILLATION--ALL TRUCK AND NO
BARTER.
But as it is not my intention to write a diary of my life, which was
like all other midshipmen's lives in the West Indies, I shall pass over
some months, during which we remained tolerably healthy, took many
prizes, cut out some privateers, and spent money so rapidly gained, in a
manner still more rapid.
Of my own messmates I remember but little. They were generally
shockingly ignorant young men, who had left school too early, to whom
books were an aversion, and all knowledge, save that merely nautical, a
derision. I had to go more often to fisty-cuffs with these youths, in
defending my three deckers--words of Latin or Greek derivation--than on
any other occasion. I remember well that the word "idiosyncrasy" got me
two black eyes, and my opponent as "pretty a luxation" of the shoulder
by being tumbled down the main hatchway at the close of the combat, as
any man of moderate expectations might desire. I was really obliged to
mind my parts of speech. I know that instead of using the obnoxious
word "idiosyncrasy," I should have said that Mr So-and-so had "a list
to port in his ideas." I confess my error--my sin against elegance was
great; but it must be said in extenuation that then I was young and
foolish.
However, I really liked my mode of life. Notwithstanding my occasional
squabbles with my messmates upon my inadvertently launching a
first-rate, I can safely say I was beloved by everybody--nor is the term
too strong. The captain liked me because I was always well dressed, of
an engaging appearance, and a very handsome appendage to his gig, and
aide-de-camp in his visits on shore; perhaps from some better motives--
though certainly, amidst all his kindness to me, he once treated me most
tyrannously.
The doctor and the purser liked me, because I could converse with them
rationally upon matters not altogether nautical. The master almost
adored me, because, having a good natural talent for drawing, I made him
plans of the hold, and the stowage of his tiers of water-casks, and
sketches of headlands in his private log-book, to all which he was
condescending enough to put his own name. The other superior officers
thought me a very good sort of fellow, and my messmates liked me,
because I was always happy and cheerful--and lent them money.
The crew, to a man, would have done anything for me, because--(it was
very foolish, certainly)--I used, for some months to cry heartily when
any of them were tied up. And afterwards, when I got rid of this
weakness, I always begged as many of them off from the infliction of the
lash of Mr Farmer, the first-lieutenant, as I could. With him I could
take the liberty if I found him in a good humour, though I dared not
with the captain; for, though the latter had some attachment for me, it
was a dreadfully wayward and capricious feeling.
The longer I sailed with him the more occasion I had to dread, if not
hate him. The poor man had no resources; it is not, therefore,
surprising that he began to have recourse to habitual ebriety. Then,
under the influence of his wife, he would be gay, mischievous,
tyrannical, and even cruel, according to the mood of the moment. Yet,
at the worst, though his feet faltered, when in his cups, his tongue
never did. He even grew eloquent under the vinous influence. It
sharpened his cunning, and wonderfully increased his aptitude for
mischief. It was a grievous calamity to all on board the ship that we
could not give his mind healthful occupation. I said that he was fond
of me; but I began to dread his affection, and to feel myself as being
compelled to submit to the playful caresses of a tiger. As yet, not
only had we not had the slightest difference, but he had often humoured
me to the detriment of the service, and in defiance of the just
discipline Mr Farmer wished to maintain. If I presumed upon this, who
shall blame such conduct in a mere boy? And then, Captain Reud was
necessary to me. I found that I could not avail myself of my too ample
allowance until he had endorsed my bills of exchange.
However, the concealed fang of the paw that had so often played with,
and patted me into vanity, was to wound me at length. It came upon me
terribly, and entered deeply into my bosom.
I was learning to play chess of the purser--the game had already become
a passion with me. It was also my turn to dine in the ward-room, and,
consequently, I was invited. The anticipated game at chess enhanced the
value of the invitation. That same forenoon the captain and I had been
very sociable. He gracious, and I facetious as I could. I had been
giving him a history of my various ushers, and he had been pleased to be
wonderfully amused. I was down in the midshipmen's berth: a full hour
after I had received the ward-room invitation, the captain's steward
shoved his unlucky head within the door, and croaked out, "Captain
Reud's compliments to Mr Rattlin, and desires his company to dinner
today."
I answered carelessly, rather flippantly, perhaps, "Tell the captain I'm
going to dine in the ward-room." I meant no disrespect, for I felt
none. Perhaps the fellow who took back my answer worded it maliciously.
I had totally forgotten, as soon as I had uttered my excusal, whether I
had or had not used the word "compliments," or "respects"--perhaps
thoughtlessly, neither one nor the other.
I dined in the ward-room, enjoyed my chess, and, good, easy youth, with
all my blushing honours thick upon me, of having given mate with only
trifling odds in my favour, the drum beat to evening quarters. I was
stationed to the four aftermost carronades on the quarter-deck. I had
run up in a hurry; and at that period, straps to keep down the trousers
not having been invented, my white jeans were riddled a good deal up the
leg. I passed the captain, touched my hat, and began to muster my men.
Unconscious of any offence, I stole a look at my commander, but met with
no good-humoured glance in return. He had screwed up his little yellow
physiognomy into the shape of an ill-conditioned and battered face on a
brass knocker. He had his usual afternoon wine-flush upon him; but a
feeling of vindictiveness had placed his feelings of incipient
intoxication under complete mastery.
"So you dined in the ward-room, Mr Rattlin?"
"Yes, sir," my hat reverently touched, not liking the looks of my
interrogator.
"And you did not even condescend to return the compliments I sent you,
with my misplaced invitation to dinner."
"Don't recollect, sir."
"Mr Rattlin, in consideration of your ignorance, I can forgive a
personal affront--damme--but, by the living God, I cannot overlook
disrespect to the service. You young misbegotten scoundrel! what do
mean by coming to quarters undressed? Look at your trousers, sir!"
"The captain is in a passion, certainly," thought I, as I quietly
stooped to pull the offending garment down to my shoes.
"Mr Farmer, Mr Farmer, do you see the young blackguard?" said the
commander. "Confound me, he is making a dressing-room of my
quarter-deck--and at quarters, too--which is the same as parade.
Hither, sirrah;--ho-ho, my young gentleman. Young gentleman, truly--a
conceited little bastard!"
The word burnt deeply into my young heart, and caused a shock upon my
brain, as if an explosion of gunpowder had taken place within my skull;
but it passed instantaneously, and left behind it an unnatural calm.
"Pray, sir," said I, walking up to him, deliberately and resolutely,
"how do _you_ know that I am a bastard?"
"Do you hear the impudent scoundrel? Pray, sir, who is your father?"
"Oh! that I knew," said I, bursting into tears. "I bless God that it is
not you."
"To the mast-head! to the mast-head! Where's the boatswain? start him
up! start him up!"
The boatswain could not make his way aft till I was some rattlings up
the main rigging, and thus, his intentional and kind dilatoriness saved
me from the indignity of a blow. Twice I gazed upon the clear blue and
transparent water, and temptation was strong upon me, for it seemed to
woo me to rest; but when I looked inboard, and contemplated the
diminutive, shrivelled, jaundiced figure beneath me, I said to myself,
"Not for such a thing as that."
Before I had got to the main-top, I thought, "This morning he loved
me!--poor human nature!"--and when I got to the topmast cross-trees, I
had actually forgiven him. It has been my failing through life, as
Shakespeare expresses it, "to have always lacked gall." God knows how
much I have forgiven, merely because I have found it impossible to hate.
But it was to be tried still more. I had settled myself comfortably on
the cross-trees, making excuses for the captain, and condemning my own
want of caution, and anticipating a reconciliatory breakfast with my
persecutor, when his shrill voice came discordantly upon my ears.
"Mast-head, there!"
"Sir."
"Up higher, sir--up higher."
I hesitated--the order was repeated with horrid threats and
imprecations. There were no rattlings to the topgallant rigging. It
had been tremendously hot all day, and the tar had sweated from the
shrouds; and I was very loath to spoil my beautiful white jean trousers
by swarming up them. However, as I perceived that he had worked himself
into a perfect fury, up I went, and to the topgallant-mast-head,
embracing the royal pole with one arm, and standing on the bights of the
rigging. My nether apparel, in performing this feat, appeared as if it
had been employed in wiping up a bucket of spilled tar.
But I was not long to remain unmolested in my stand on the high and
giddy mast. My astonishment and dismay were unbounded at hearing
Captain Reud still vociferate, "Up higher, sir."
The royal pole stood naked, with nothing attached to it but the royal
and the signal-halyards, the latter running through the truck. My lady
readers must understand that the truck is that round thing at the top of
all the masts that looks so like a button. I could not have got up the
well-greased pole if I had attempted it. A practised seaman could,
certainly, and, indeed, one of those worthies who climb for legs of
mutton at a fair, might have succeeded to mount a few inches.
"What!" said I, half aloud, "does the tyrant mean? He knows that this
thing I cannot do: and he also knows that if I attempt it, it is
probable I shall lose my hold of this slippery stick, and be rolled off
into the sea. If he wishes to murder me, he shall do so more directly.
Forgive him--never. I'll brave him first, and revenge myself after."
Again that deadly calm came over me, which makes soft dispositions so
desperate, and to which light-haired persons are so peculiarly subject.
In these temperaments, when the paleness becomes fixed and unnatural,
beware of them in their moods. They concentrate the vindictiveness of a
life in a few moments; and, though the paroxysm is usually short, it is
too often fatal to themselves and their victims. I coolly commenced
descending the rigging, whilst the blackest thoughts crowded in distinct
and blood-stained array upon my brain. I bethought me from whence I
could the most readily pluck a weapon, but the idea was but
instantaneous, and I dismissed it with a mighty effort. At length I
reached the deck, whilst the infuriated captain stood mute with surprise
at my outrageously insubordinate conduct. The men were still at their
quarters, and partook of their commander's astonishment; but, I am
convinced, of no other feeling.
When I found myself on deck I walked up to Captain Reud, and between my
clenched teeth I said to him, slowly and deliberately, "Tyrant, I scorn
you. I come premeditatedly to commit an act of mutiny: I give myself up
as a prisoner: I desire to be tried by a court-martial. I will undergo
anything to escape from you; and I don't think that, with all your
malice, you will be able to hang me. I consider myself under an
arrest." Then turning upon my heel, I prepared to go down the
quarter-deck hatchway.
Captain Reud heard me to the end in silence; he even permitted me to go
down half the ladder unmolested, when, rousing himself from his utter
astonishment, he jumped forward, and spurning me with his foot violently
on my back, dashed me on the main deck. I was considerably bruised,
and, before I got to the midshipmen's berth, two marines seized me and
dragged me again to the quarter-deck. Once more I stood before my angry
persecutor, looking hate and defiance.
"To the mast-head, sir, immediately."
"I will not. I consider myself a prisoner."
"You refuse to go?"
"I do."
"Quarter-master, the signal halyards. Sling Mr Rattlin." Mr Rattlin
was slung. "Now run the mutinous rascal up to the truck."
In a moment I was attached to a thin white line, waving to and fro in
mid air, and soon triced up to the very top of the royal pole, and
jammed hard to the truck. Is this believed? Perhaps not; yet no
statement was ever more true. At the time when this atrocity was
perpetrating not an officer interfered. My sufferings were intense.
The sun was still hot, my hat had fallen off in my involuntary ascent,
and, as the ship was running before the wind under her topsails, the
motion at that high point of elevation was tremendous. I felt horribly
sea-sick. The ligature across my chest became every moment more
oppressive to my lungs, and more excruciating in torture; my breathing
at each respiration more difficult, and, before I had suffered ten
times, I had fainted. So soon as the captain had seen me run up he went
below, leaving strict orders that I should not be lowered down.
Directly the captain was in his cabin, the first-lieutenant, the doctor,
purser, and the officers of the watch, held a hurried consultation on my
situation. But the good-natured doctor did not stop for the result, but
immediately went below, and told Reud if I remained where I was I should
die. Those who knew the navy at that time will anticipate the answer--
no others can--"Let him die and be damned!" The good doctor came on
deck, desponding. Mr Farmer then hailed me once, and again and again.
Of course he received no answer: I heard him, but, at that moment, my
senses were fast leaving me. The sea, with its vast horizon, appearing
so illimitable from the great height where I was swaying, rocked, to my
failing sight, awfully to and fro: the heavens partook of the dizzying
motion. I only, of all the creation, seemed standing still: I was sick
unto death; and as far as sensation was concerned, then and there I
died.
Upon receiving no reply, Mr Farmer sent one of the top-men up to look
at me. No sooner had he reached the topgallant rigging than he reported
me dead. A cry of horror escaped from all the deck. The captain rushed
up: he needed no report. He was frantic with grief. He wept like a
child, and assisted with his own hands to lower me down; they were his
arms that received, himself that bore me to his cabin. Like a wilful
boy who had slain his pet lamb, or a passionate girl her dove, he
mourned over me. It was a long time before my respiratory organs could
be brought into play. My recovery was slow, and it was some time before
I could arrange my ideas. A cot was slung for me in the cabin, and
bewildered and exhausted, I fell into a deep sleep.
I awoke a little after midnight perfectly composed, and suffering only
from the weal that the cord had made across my chest. Before a table,
and his countenance lighted by a single lantern, sat the captain. His
features expressed a depth of grief and a remorse that were genuine. He
sat motionless, with his eyes fixed upon my cot: my face he could not
see, owing to the depth of the shadow in which I lay. I moved: he
advanced to my cot with the gentleness of a woman, and softly uttered:--
"Ralph, my dear boy, do you sleep?"
The tones of his voice fell soothingly upon my ear like the music of a
mother's prayer.
"No, Captain Reud; but I am very thirsty."
In an instant he was at my side with some weak wine and water. I took
it from the hand of him whom, a few hours before, in my animosity I
could have slain.
"Ralph," said he, as he received back the tumbler, "Ralph, are we
friends?"
"Oh! Captain Reud, how could you treat a poor lad thus, who respected,
who loved you so much?"
"I was mad--do you forgive me, Ralph?" and he took my not unwilling
hand.
"To be sure; but do me one little favour in return."
"Anything, anything, Ralph--I'll never mast-head you again."
"Oh, I was not thinking of that; I ought not to have put you in a
passion. Punish me--mast-head me--do anything, Captain Reud, but call
me not bastard."
He made no reply: he pressed my hand fervently; he put it to his lips
and kissed it--on my soul he did: then, after a pause, gently murmured
"Good-night;" and, as he passed into the after-cabin to his bed, I
distinctly heard him exclaim, "God forgive me, how I have wronged that
boy!"
The next day we were better friends than ever; and for the three years
that we remained together, not a reproachful word or an angry look ever
passed between us.
I must be permitted to make three observations upon this, to me,
memorable transaction. The first is, that at that time I had not the
power of retention of those natural feelings of anger, which all should
carry with them as a preservation against, or a punishment for, injury
and insult. I know that most of my male, and many of my female readers,
will think my conduct throughout pusillanimous or abject. My mother's
milk, as it were, still flowed in my veins, and with that no ill blood
could amalgamate. All I can say is, that now I am either so much better
or so much worse, that I should have adopted towards Captain Reud a much
more decided course of proceedings.
My second remark is, that this captain had really a good heart, but was
one of the most striking instances that I ever knew of the demoralising
effect of a misdirected education, and the danger of granting great
powers to early years and great ignorance. With good innate feelings,
no man ever possessed moral perceptions more clouded.
And lastly, that this statement is not to be construed into a libel on
the naval service, or looked upon in the least as an exaggerated
account. As to libel, the gentlemanly deportment, the parental care of
their crews, and the strict justice of thousands of captains, cannot in
the least be deteriorated by a single act of tyranny, by a solitary
member of their gallant body; and, as to exaggeration, let it be
remembered that, in the very same year, and on the very same station
that my tricing-up to the truck occurred, another post-captain tarred
and feathered one of his young gentlemen, and kept him in that state, a
plumed biped, for more than six weeks in his hen-coop. This last fact
obtained much notoriety, from the aggrieved party leaving the service,
and recovering heavy damages from his torturer in the court of civil
law. My treatment never was known beyond our frigate.