RALPH FIGURETH AT A BALL, EXCELLETH, AND AFTERWARDS SLEEPETH--HE
RETURNETH ON BOARD, AND HATH BOTH HIS TOILS AND HIS SAND UNDERVALUED,
AND THUS DISCOVERETH THE GRATITUDE OF FIRST-LIEUTENANTS.
Not yet having sufficiently Hibernised my taste to luxuriate on
Raleigh's root, plain, with salt, I begged them to procure me something
more placable to an English appetite. I gave money to my hosts, and
they procured me eggs and bacon. I might also have had a fowl, but I
did not wish to devour guests to whom on my boat's keel I had given such
recent hospitality. They returned me my full change, and, though there
was more than enough of what they cooked for me to satisfy myself and
boys, they would not partake of the remains, until I assured them, that
if they did not I would throw them away. At this intimation they
disappeared in a twinkling.
Then came the whiskey--the real dew. I never touched it. I have before
stated, that for three years I abstained from all spirituous liquors.
My lads had made no such resolution. The big iron pot was now, like an
honest old sailor that had done his duty, kicked aside the corner; the
drummer and fifer seating themselves on the keel of the inverted dinghy,
and struck up a lilt, and:--
"Off they went so gaily O!"
More lads and lasses came in, and jigs and reels succeeded each other
with such rapidity, that, notwithstanding the copious supplies of
whiskey, the drummer's arms failed him, and the fifer had almost blown
himself into an atrophy. Did I dance? To be sure I did, and right
merrily too. I had such pleasant, fair-haired, rosy, Hebe-like
instructresses, ready to tear each other's eyes out to get me for a
partner. Then, they talked Irish so musically, and put the king's
English to death so charmingly that, notwithstanding the heat and smoke
of the cabin was upon them, and the whiskey did more than heighten the
colour on their lips, they were really enchanting, though stockingless
creatures. It has been truly said, that in the social circle, the
extremes, as to manners, almost meet. These ladies, I suppose, had gone
so far beyond vulgarity, that they were now converging to the superior
tone and frank _degagement_ of the upper classes. Positively it never
struck me that I was in vulgar company. I then, of course, could have
been but an indifferent judge. But I have thought of it often since,
and must say, that in the degrading sense of the word, my company of
that night was not vulgar. It was pastoral, and perhaps barbarous, but
everything was natural, and everything free from pretension. I did not
often again, though I have danced with spirits as unwearied, dance with
a heart so light. During this festive evening I saw no indications of
that pugnacity so inseparable with Irish hilarity, though there were
assembled a dozen of as pretty "broths of boys," as ever practised skull
salutation at Donybrook fair.
At length, about one in the morning, the whiskey had overpowered my
boat's crew, and the whisking myself. They made up a lair for me with
abundant greatcoats in the corner of the room, and my eyes gradually
closed in sleep, catching, till they were finally sealed up, every now
and then, twinklings of bare legs and well-turned ankles, mingled with
the clatter of heavy brogues, and the drone of a bagpipe that had now
superseded the squeak of the fife, and the rattle of the drum.
I certainly did dream, I suppose about an hour after I had fallen
asleep, of the clattering of sticks, the squalling of women, and the
cursing of men; and I felt an indistinct sensation, as if people were
practising leaping over my body, and finally, as if some soft-rounded
figure had caught me in her arms. I was so terribly oppressed with
fatigue that I could not awake; and, as the last part of my dream gave
me so sweet an idea of happiness and security, if I may use the
expression, I shall say, as every novelist has a right to do once in his
three volumes--"I was lapped in Elysium."
Everything was oblivion until I was awakened by one of my lads at eight
in the morning, and I arose refreshed, though a little stiff. The
hardened clay, which composed the floor, was neatly swept up, the pigs
and the poultry were driven out, and a good fire was blazing under the
chimney. Of all the party of the night before, there remained only the
two fine young men who brought me and my boat up, the elderly couple,
and two blooming girls, with the youngest of whom I had danced almost
the whole of the previous evening. I observed on one of the young men a
tremendous black eye, that certainly was not there the day before, and
the other had his temples carefully bandaged, and both my boat-boys
complained of being kicked and trampled on during the night, yet I am
not so ungrateful, upon such slender evidence, as to assert that the
dance had ended in a scrimmage, or so presumptuous as to say in what
manner I thought that I had been protected during the row, if there had
been one.
My hosts had nothing to offer me for breakfast but a thin, and by no
means tempting pot of hot meal and water. I certainly did taste a
little, that I might not seem to disrespect the pretty Norah, who had
prepared it for me, and strove to make it palatable by a lump of butter,
a delicacy that was offered to no one else. As I was impatient to be
off, I kissed the girls heartily, yes, heartily; shook hands with the
sons, and prepared for my departure, after having, with considerable
difficulty, forced a half-guinea upon my hosts. I begged to know the
names of those to whose hospitality I was so much indebted, and, as well
as memory will serve me at this distance of time, I think they were
specimens of what excellent O'Tooles potatoes are capable of producing.
We then resumed our procession down to the beach, I walking first,
bearing the boat-hook pikeways, followed by the boat itself borne
between the two athletic Tooles, and the procession was closed by the
boat's crew, each with his oar upon his shoulder. We were soon launched
and instructed as to the course we were to take. The wind and sea had
gone down, and the tide was favourable. We had to pull about five miles
to get round the bluff, when we arrived at the sandy little nook from
which we had made our involuntary excursion to sea the night before.
The spirit of obedience to orders was strong upon me, and in spite of
the remonstrance of the boys, I went in and loaded the dinghy nearly
down to the gunnel with the sand, for which we had been so much
perilled. After all my dangers, I got safely on board before noon, much
to the surprise of all on board, who had given us up as lost, and there
already had been a coolness between the captain and the first-lieutenant
on my account. This coolness promised a warm reception for myself; and
I got it.
So occupied had Mr Farmer been all the day before with taking in Irish
beef and pork, for the West Indian storehouses, and extra water to
supply any of the convoy that might fall short of that necessary
article, that he had totally forgotten the sand expedition, and it was
eight in the evening, just at the time that I was, in the words of the
song, "Far, far at sea," that he was reminded of it. Mr Silva, the
second-lieutenant, begged as a favour, that a boat might be lent him,
just to put him alongside the _Roebuck_, one of the two eighteen-gun
brigs that was to accompany us as whippers-in to the convoy. As the
captain was not expected on board till late, Mr Farmer had not much
hesitation in granting the request, with the usual "Take the dinghy, Mr
Silva." But just then the Atlantic had been beforehand with him. The
dinghy had not returned. She had been last seen at the sandy nook to
which she had been sent. The barge and cutter were immediately manned
and sent to look for me. They easily got to the place where I was seen
loading, and found the sand disturbed, and nothing else. They returned
with some difficulty against the head-wind, and, of course, made a most
disheartening report. When the captain returned he was dreadfully
angry.
Well, as I crept up the side sneakingly, not very well knowing whether I
were to enact the hero or the culprit, I concocted a speech that was
doomed to share the fate of "the lost inventions." I saw the captain
and Mr Farmer pacing the deck, but both decidedly with their duty faces
on. Touching my hat very submissively, I said sheepishly, "I've come on
board, sir, and--"
"You young blackguard! I've a great mind--"
"To do what, Mr Farmer?" said Captain Reud, interposing.
Now I can assure the reader, twenty-five years ago, when we had nearly
cleared the seas of every enemy, and the British pennant was really a
whip, which had flogged every opponent of the ocean, the "young
gentlemen" were sometimes flogged too, and more often called young
blackguards than by any other title of honour. All this is altered for
the better now. We don't abuse each other, or flog among ourselves so
much--and, the next war, I make no doubt, what we have spared to
ourselves we shall bestow upon our enemies. I mention this, that the
reader may not suppose that I am coarse in depicting the occasional
looseness of the naval manners of the times.
"To punish him for staying out all night without leave."
"That's a great fault, certainly," said the captain, slily. "Pray, Mr
Rattlin, what _induced_ you to commit it?"
"Please, sir, I wasn't induced at all. I was regularly blown out, and
now I am as regularly blown--."
"Come, sir, I'll be your friend, and not permit you to finish your
sentence. If it's a fair question, Mr Rattlin, may I presume to ask
where you slept last night?"
"With the two Misses O'Tooles," said I; for really the young ladies were
uppermost in my thoughts.
"You young reprobate! What, with both?" said the captain, grinning.
"Yes sir," for I now began to feel myself safe; "and Mr and Mrs
O'Toole, and Mr Cornelius O'Toole, who has red hair, and Mr Phelim
O'Toole, who has a black eye,--and the poultry, and the pigs, and the
boat's crew."
"And where was the boat all this time?"
"Sleeping with us, too, sir."
I then shortly detailed what had happened to me, which amused the
captain much. "And so," he continued, "after all, you have brought off
the sand. I really commend your perseverance."
A bucket of sand was handed up, and Mr Farmer contemptuously filtered
it through his fingers; then turning to me wrathfully, exclaimed, "How
dare you bring off for sand, such shelly, pebbly, gritty stuff as this,
sir?"
"If you please, sir, I had no hand in putting it where I found it, and I
only obeyed orders in bringing it off." For I really felt it to be very
unjust to be blamed for the act of nature, and especially as three lives
had been endangered to procure a few buckets of worthless earth.
The captain thought so too; for he said to Mr Farmer, very coldly, "I
think you should have ascertained the quality of the sand before you
sent for it; and I don't think that you should have sent for it at all
towards nightfall, and at the beginning of ebb tide. Youngster, you
shall dine with me to-day, and give me a history of the O'Tooles."