RALPH IS SHIPPED, HULKED, AND OVERCOME--A DARK HALL AND AN EBONY
SERVITOR--A TAILOR'S POLITENESS, AND A MASTER'S MATE, WHO SIGHS TO BE
MATED YET DOES NOT SEE THAT HE IS OUTMATCHED.
I found the _Eos_ all rigged and strong in the breeze, with the not very
agreeable aroma of dockyard paint. The ship's company was not, however,
on board of her. They were hulked on board of the _Pegasus_. A very
brief introduction to the officers of the watch, and I was shown down
with my sea-chest, my shore-going trunk, and quadrant, cocked-hat,
etcetera, to the midshipmen's berth in the hulk. One of the after-guard
performed for me the office of gentleman-usher. It was a gloomy, foggy,
chilly day, and the damp of the atmosphere was mingled with the reeking,
dank, animal effluvia that came up, thick and almost tangible, from the
filthy receptacle of crowded hundreds.
As I descended into darkness, and nearly felt overpowered by the
compound of villainous smells, I was something more than sick at heart.
My pioneer at length lifted up the corner of a piece of dirty canvas,
that screened off a space of about six feet square from the rest of the
ship's company. This I was given to understand was the _young
gentlemen's_ quarters, their dining-room and their drawing-room
combined. Even I, who had not yet attained my full growth, could not
stand erect in this saloon of elegance. I am stating nothing but
literal facts. On an oaken table, still more greasy than the greasy
decks over which I had slipped in my passage to this den, stood a
flickering, spluttering, intensely yellow candle of very slender
dimensions, inserted in a black quart bottle. Beside it was placed a
battered bread-basket, containing some broken biscuit; and a piece of
villainously-scented cheese, distinguished by the name of purser's, lay
near it, in company with an old, blood-stained, worn-out tooth-brush,
and a shallow pewter wash-hand basin, filled with horridly dirty water.
For seats round this table there were no other substitutes than various
chests of various dimensions.
Of such sordid penury as I then witnessed I had read, but never supposed
I should be compelled to witness, much less to share. Notwithstanding
the closeness of this hole, it was excessively cold. There was not a
soul there to welcome me, the petty officers being all away on dockyard
duty. It might have been ten o'clock when I was first ushered into this
region of darkness, of chill and evil odours. I remained with my
surtout coat on, sitting on my chest with my hands clasped before me,
stiff with cold, and melancholy almost to tears. How much then I panted
for the breeze that blew over the heathy common where I had lately
wantoned, leaped, and laughed!
As I there sat, I fell into a deep and dream-like reverie. I could not
after a pause convince myself that all I saw around me was real. The
light that the single unsnuffed candle gave, became more dim and smoky.
I began to think that my spirit had most surely stepped into the
vestibule of the abode of shadows; and I wished to convince myself that
my body was far, far away sleeping in a pure atmosphere, and under a
friendly roof. Minute after minute cropped its weight heavily, like so
many pellets of lead, upon my disordered brain. I became confused--
perhaps I was nearly upon the point of syncope from the sudden change to
bad air. I felt that all I saw about me, if not real, would prove that
I was mad; and I feared that I should become so if the scene turned out
to be no illusion. At last I jumped up, as I felt my stupor and my
sickness increasing, exclaiming--"This is hell--and there's the devil!"
as I observed a hideous shining black face peering at me over the top of
the screen, grinning in such a manner, with a row of white teeth, that
reminded me of so many miniature tombstones stretching right across a
dark churchyard.
"No debbel, sar--my name, sar, Lillydew--vat you please vant, sar?--
steward to young gentlemen, sar. Will young massa have a lily-white bit
soft tommy, sar,--broil him a sodger, sar--bumboat alongside, get a
fresh herring for relish, sar."
"Get me a little fresh air--take me upstairs."
"O Gemminnie! hi! hi! hi!--young gentleman, Massa Johnny Newcome. This
way, sar."
Conducted by this angel of darkness, I regained the deck and daylight,
and the nausea soon left my chest and the pain my head. I then made
this reflection, that whatever glory a naval officer may attain, if he
went through the ordeal I was about essaying, he richly deserved it.
The captain and some of the other officers now came on board. I was
introduced to most of them, and the skipper made himself very merry with
an account of my recent adventure with the master's mate, who was still
at the mast-head, as a convincing proof of the accuracy of the story,
and was plainly distinguishable some half-mile higher up the Medway.
I soon entered into conversation with one of the young gentlemen who was
destined to be, for so long, my messmate. I told him that the air below
would kill me. He acknowledged that it was bad enough to kill a dog,
but that a reefer could stand it. He also advised me not to have my
uniforms altered by the ship's tailors, as it would be done in a
bungling manner; but to get leave to go on shore, and that he would
introduce me to a very honest tradesman, who would do me justice. I
expressed my hopes to him, in a dry manner, that he did not belong to
the regiment of horse marines. He understood me, and said, upon his
honour, no: that it was all fair and above board; and as a
recommendation, which he thought would be irresistible, he added that
this tailor had a very pretty daughter, with the very pretty name of
Jemima.
As the latter information was very satisfactory evidence as to the skill
and honesty of the tradesman, I could not be guilty of such a _non
sequitur_ as not to promise to employ him. I then told him to make
haste and come on shore with me. I now was made painfully sensible
that, before I could enjoy my wishes, a little ceremony was needful; in
fact, that my powers of locomotion were no longer under my own control,
excepting for about one hundred and twenty feet in one direction, and
about thirty-five in another. As I was passing over the starboard side
of the quarter-deck, to ask leave to go on shore, the captain accosted
me, and did me the honour to request my company to dinner at his table.
Finding him in so bland a humour, I preferred my request to live on
shore till the ship sailed. He smiled at the enormity of my demand, and
asked what induced it. I frankly told him the filth and bad smell of my
accommodations; and also my wish not to be seen on board until my
uniforms were complete.
"He's an original," said the captain to the first-lieutenant, "but there
is some sense in his request. I suppose _you_ have no objection, Mr
Farmer? Young gentleman," he continued, turning to me, "you must always
ask the first-lieutenant, in future, for leave. Mind, don't be later
than four o'clock."
My messmate, with all manner of humility, now made his request, which
being granted, we went down together to my chest, and making a bundle of
all the clothes that required alteration, we placed that and ourselves
in a shore-boat, and made our way to the tailor's. I was there
introduced to the lovely Jemima. She looked like a very pretty doll,
modelled with crumbs of white bread; she was so soft, so fair, and so
unmeaning. After the order was given, my maker of the outward man
hazarded a few inquiries, in a manner so kind and so obliging, that
quite made me lose sight of their impertinence. When he found that I
had leave to remain on shore, and that my pocket-book was far from being
ill-furnished, he expatiated very feelingly upon the exactions of living
at inns, offered me a bed for nothing, provided only that I would pay
for my breakfast, and appoint him my tailor in ordinary; and declared
that he would leave no point unturned to make me comfortable and happy.
As this conversation took place in the little parlour at the back of the
shop, Jemima--Miss Jemima--was present, and, as I seemed to hesitate,
the innocent-looking dear slily came up beside me, and, taking my hand,
pressed it amorously, stealing at me a look with eyes swimming with a
strange expression. This by-play decided the business. The agreement
was made, the terms being left entirely to Mr Tapes. Covering my
inappropriate dress with my blue surtout, I was about leaving with my
messmate, when the young lady said to her father, "Perhaps Mr Rattlin
would like to see his room before he goes out?"
"Not particularly."
"Oh, but you must. You may come in, and I and the servant may be out.
This way--you must not come up, Mr Pridhomme, _your_ boots are so
abominably dirty. There, isn't it a nice room?--you pretty, pretty
boy," said she, jumping up, and giving me a long kiss, that almost took
my breath away. "Don't tell old leather-chops, will you, and I _shall_
love you so."
"Who is old leather-chops--your father?"
"Dear me, no; never mind him. I mean your messmate, Mr Pridhomme."
"I'm stepping into life," thought I, as I went downstairs, "and with no
measured strides either."
"What do you think of Jemima?" said Mr Pridhomme, as we walked
arm-in-arm towards the ramparts.
"Pretty."
"Pretty!--why she's an angel! If there was ever an angel on earth, it
is Jemima Tapes. But what is mere beauty? Nothing compared to
sincerity and innocence--she is all innocence and sincerity."
"I am glad that you believe so."
"Believe so--why, look at her! She is all innocence. She won't let her
father kiss her."
"Why?"
"She says it is so indelicate."
"How does she know what is, or what is not, indelicate?"
"Damn it, younker, you'd provoke a saint. She assures me when she is
forced to shake hands with a grown-up man, that it actually gives her a
cold shudder all over. I don't think that she ever kissed anybody but
her mother, and that was years ago."
"Perhaps she does not know how."
"I'm sure she don't. If I had a fortune, I'd marry her tomorrow, only
I'm afraid she's too modest."
"Your fear is very commendable. Are the ladies at Chatham so remarkable
for modesty?"
"No; and that's what makes Jemima so singular."
I like to make people happy, if they are not so; and if they are, even
though that happiness may be the creation of a delusion, I like to leave
them so. I, therefore, encouraged Mr Pridhomme to pour all his
raptures into, what he thought, an approving ear, and Jemima was the
theme, until he left me at the door of the hotel at which I was to dine
with Captain Reud. Whatever the reader may think of Jemima, I was, at
this period, perfectly innocent myself, though not wholly ignorant. I
should have deemed Miss Jemima's osculatory art as the mere effect of
high spirits and hoyden playfulness, had it not been for the hypocrisy
that she was displaying towards my messmate. I had translated Gil Blas
at school, and I therefore set her down for an intrepid coquette, if not
_une franche aventuriere_. However, though I pitied my messmate, that
was no reason why I should not enjoy my dinner.
That day I liked my little saffron-coloured captain much better. He
played the host very agreeably. He made as many inquiries as he dared,
without too much displaying his own ignorance, as to the extent of my
acquirements; and, when he found them so far beyond his expectations, he
seemed to be struck with a sudden respect for me. The tone of his
conversation was more decorous than that of the preceding evening; he
gave me a great deal of nautical advice, recommended me to the
protection particularly of the first and second lieutenants, who were
also his guests, approved of my plan of sleeping at the tailor's, and
dismissed me very early, no doubt with a feeling of pleasure at having
removed a restraint; for, as I left the room, I just caught the
words--"Make a damned sea-lawyer, by-and-by."