Of course it was a nervy thing to do, we'll admit that, but just the
same, if you'd known old Crabby Jacobs the way we knew him, you really
wouldn't have blamed us. According to our figuring he had it coming to
him ... and, after all--what we did wasn't any worse than sending a
person a terrible comic Valentine. Besides, it had a good moral to it
if Crabby could only see it, and since this was the time of year for
people to turn over new leaves and swear to be better and better in
every way, why shouldn't Crabby be interested in the resolutions we'd
drawn up for him?
I'm not saying whose idea it was since that would be giving me away but
I will say this--that all the fellows fell for it at once and Dill, who
was taking a sign painting course up at high school, volunteered to fix
up what was written so that old Crabby couldn't miss seeing it.
I suppose now you're wondering who Crabby was and just why we had it in
for him. Well, that won't take long to tell. Crabby Jacobs was the old
geezer who lived by himself in a nice-enough house right close to the
bend in the Pierson's Hill road. Where he lived was just outside the
limits of the town and the reason he lived there, we guessed, was
because he was a good three blocks away from any neighbors. Of course
the old fairground property was across the road from him but none of
the rickety frame buildings had been used for years. And hardly anybody
used the steep Pierson's Hill road except in the winter when it made
the best sliding for miles around. At the top of the hill, a quarter of
a mile above Crabby Jacobs' place, farmer Durgan and his wife and seven
kids lived ... and he was sort of accustomed to boys because he was
always mighty nice to us when we'd come out with our toboggans to start
in coasting. Why, he even got out his horse one time and helped us
level off the snow in places where it was too deep for our runners to
track. But Crabby? Say ... it was at the bend, halfway down this mile
long hill, that we'd be hitting it up at the greatest speed and it was
right here that we'd get stuck. Crabby wasn't going to have any sliding
past his place. No siree! It was a darn nuisance to begin with ... and
we was always shoutin' and carryin' on and he didn't like it a little
bit ... not a little bit!
"But Mr. Jacobs," we'd argue, "you don't own the road and we'll promise
not to make a sound when we're going by and we don't see how we're
interfering with anything you're doing!"
"I ain't goin' to argue!" he'd reply. "You boys know what's right.
Besides, coastin' is dangerous. You might run into somebody comin'
around that bend or tip over and hurt yourselves. I'm really doin' you
boys a favor by keepin' you from riskin' your necks and this is the
thanks I get. Go along now and don't let me catch you slidin' past here
again!"
Well, what are you going to do with a customer like this? Old Crabby
Jacobs has a good-sized temper when it's stirred up and we don't care
to get in a fight with anybody. On the other hand we hate like sixty to
give up the swellest coasting we'd had in years.
"Ought to be some way to get around Crabby," says Pete Bagley.
"Or else to get even with him," explodes Rod Evans.
And so we get the idea of the New Year's resolutions. And Dill
Saunders, with his knack for lettering, prints what we've thought up on
a big piece of cardboard to which we tie a string like we was going to
hang a picture. Then we hike out to Crabby Jacobs' and while the
fellows hide down around the bend, me and Pete sneak up to Crabby's
door and hang the sign on the door knob and then bang on the door real
loud. After that we does a different kind of coasting to get out of
sight.
It isn't ten seconds later when Crabby comes out on the porch in his
shirt sleeves, acting suspicious and excited. He looks all around but
he can't see anything so he starts back into the house and then he sees
plenty! He lets out a gasp which, on account of the cold air, turns
into a puff of white and we can tell from that, he's steaming hot.
There's a lot of little white puffs follows as he reads to himself
what's printed on the sign.