FAREWELL TO THE FOOTLIGHTS
I
Having booked a number of engagements there, in December, 1857, Lola
landed in New York for the second time. Directly she stepped off the
ship, she was surrounded by a throng of reporters. Never losing the
chance of making a speech, she gave them just what they wanted.
"America," she said, as they pulled out their note-books, "is the last
refuge left the victims of tyranny and oppression in the old world. It
is the finest monument to liberty ever erected beneath the canopy of
heaven."
For her reappearance she offered the public _Lola Montez in Bavaria_,
which had already done good service. By this time, however, it was a
little frayed.
"The drama represents her as a coquettish and reckless woman," was the
considered opinion of one critic. "We assure our readers she is
nothing of the sort."
This testimonial was a help. Still, it could not infuse fresh life
into a piece that had obviously outlived its popularity. Hence, she
soon changed the bill for a double one, _The Eton Boy_ and _Follies of
a Night_. But the cash results were not much better; and when she left
New York and tried her luck in Boston the week's receipts were
scarcely two hundred dollars. This, in theatrical parlance, was "not
playing to the gas."
Realising that she was losing her grip, she cast about for some fresh
method of attracting the public. It was not long before she hit on
one. As she was in a democratic country, she would make capital out of
her "title." A plan was soon matured. This was to hold "receptions,"
where anybody would be welcome who was prepared to pay a dollar.
A dollar for ten minutes' chat with a genuine countess, and, for
another 50 cents, the privilege of shaking her hand. A bargain. The
tariff appealed to thousands. Among them Charles Sumner, the
distinguished jurist, who declared of Lola Montez that, "She was by
far the most graceful and delightful woman I ever met."
Her next scheme for raising the financial wind was to employ her pen.
It was true that her "memoirs," strung together in Paris, had fallen
flat--owing to the pusillanimity of the editor of _Le Pays_--but a
full length "autobiography" would, she thought, stand a better
prospect. Apart, too, from other considerations, there was now more
material on which to draw. An embarrassing amount of it. She could say
something--a lot--about the happenings in Bavaria, in France, in
California, and in Australia. All good stuff, and a field hitherto
untouched.
The pen, however, being still an unaccustomed weapon, she availed
herself of outside help; and practically the whole of the
_Autobiography of Lola Montez_ was written for her (on a
profit-sharing agreement) by a clerical collaborator, the Rev.
Chauncey Burr.
The tale of the Odyssey--as set forth in this joint
production--established contact with glittering circles and the
breathing of perfumed air. Within its chapters emperors and kings and
princes jostle one another; scenes shift continually from capital to
capital; and plots follow counter-plots in breathless fashion. Yet
those who purchased the volume in the fond belief that it would turn
out to be the analysis of a modern Aspasia were disappointed. As a
matter of fact, there was next to nothing in it that would have upset
a Band of Hope committee-meeting. This, however, was largely because,
an adept at skating over thin ice, the Rev. Mr. Burr ignored, or
coloured, such happenings as did not redound to the credit of his
subject.
[Illustration: _Lola Montez in Middle Life. A characteristic pose_]
The "Autobiography" (alleged) finishes on a high note:
"Ten years have elapsed since the events with which Lola
Montez was connected in Bavaria; and yet the malice of the
diffusive and ever vigilant Jesuits is as fresh and as
active as it was at the first hour it assailed her. It is
not too much to say that few artists of her profession ever
escaped with so little censure; and certainly none ever had
the doors of the highest social respectability so
universally open to them as she had, up to the time she went
to Bavaria. And she denies that there was anything in her
conduct there which ought to have compromised her before the
world. Her enemies assailed her, not because her deeds were
bad, but because they knew of no other means to destroy her
influence."
Although too modest to acknowledge it, this passage is obviously the
Rev. Chauncey Burr verbatim.
An offer to serialise part of the "autobiography" in the columns of
_Le Figaro_ was accepted. In correcting the proofs, Lola still clung
to the earlier account that had already done service in the "memoirs"
contributed to _Le Pays_. But she embellished it with fresh
embroideries. Thus, to keep up the Spanish connection, she now claimed
as her aunts the Marquise de Pavestra and the Marquise de
Villa-Palana, together with an equally imaginary Uncle Juan; and she
also, for the first time, gave her schoolgirl friend, Fanny Nicholls,
a sister Valerie.
The "autobiography" had originally been accepted for _Le Pays_ by
Anténon Joly. When, however, shortly afterwards, MM. de la Guéronnière
and de Lamartine acquired the journal, they repudiated the contract.
Hence, its transfer to _Le Figaro_. But this organ also developed a
sudden queasiness, and, after the first few instalments had appeared,
declined to print the remainder, on the grounds that they were "too
scandalous." Some time afterwards, Eugéne de Mirecourt, thinking he
had a bargain, secured the interrupted portions and made them the
basis of a chapter on Lola Montez in his _Les Contemporains_. This
chapter is marked throughout by severe disapproval. Thus, it begins:
"The woman who revives in the nineteenth century the scandals of
Jeanne Vaubernier belongs to our gallery, and the abject materialism
accompanying her misconduct will be revealed in the pages that
follow."
De Mirecourt was not too happy in his self-appointed task. Like
everything else from his pen, the entire section is distinctly
imaginative. Thus, he declares that Lola, while living in Madrid, was
"supported by five or six great English lords"; and, among other
amorous incidents, says that a Brahmin priest fell in love with her;
that she conducted a "scandalous intrigue" with a young French
diplomat who was carrying despatches to the Emperor of China; and that
her husband, Lieutenant James, once intercepted a tender passage
between herself and a rajah. Further embroideries assert that Lola's
father was the son of a Lady Gilbert, and that her mother was the
daughter of a "Moorish warrior who abjured paganism." To this
rigmarole he adds that she was sent to a boarding-school at Bath, kept
by a Mrs. Olridge, where she had an early _liaison_ with the
drawing-master.
It was perhaps as well for de Mirecourt, and others of his kidney,
that libel actions had not then been added to the perils of
authorship. Still, if they had, Lola would not have troubled to bring
one. To take proceedings in America against a man living in France was
difficult. Also, by this time she was so accustomed to studied
misrepresentation and deliberate falsehoods that she refused to
interfere.
"It doesn't matter what people choose to say about me," she remarked
contemptuously, when she was informed by a friend in Paris of the
liberties being taken with her name.
Although (except when she took it into her own hands) she liked to
keep clear of the law, this was not always possible. Such an instance
occurred in March, 1858, when a Mr. Jobson of New York brought an
action against her in respect of an alleged debt. The proceedings
would appear to have been conducted in a fashion that must have been
peculiar to the time and place; and, in an effort to discredit her,
she was subjected to a cross-examination that would now be described
as "third degree."
"Were you not," began the plaintiff's counsel, "born in Montrose, the
daughter of one Molly Watson?"
When this was denied, he put his next question.
"How many intrigues have you had during your career?"
"None," was the answer.
"We'll see about that, Madam," returned the other, consulting his
brief. "To begin with, were you not the mistress of King Ludwig?"
"You are a vulgar villain," exclaimed Lola indignantly. "I can swear
on the Bible, which I read every night, but you don't, that I never
had what you call an 'intrigue' with him. As a matter of fact, I did
him a lot of good."
"In what way?" enquired the judge, looking interested.
"Well, I moulded his mind to the love of freedom."
"Before you ran off with your first husband," continued counsel, "were
you not employed as a chambermaid?"
"Never," was the emphatic response. "And, let me tell you, Mr.
Attorney, it is not at all a shameful thing to be a chambermaid. If I
had been born one, I should consider myself a much more distinguished
woman than I am."
When her own counsel, coming to the rescue, dubbed Mr. Jobson a
"fellow," there followed, in the words of a reporter, "an unseemly
fracas." From abuse of one another, the rival attorneys took to
fisticuffs; the spectators and officials joined in the struggle; and
an ink pot was hurled by the furious Jobson at the occupants of the
jury-box. This being considered contempt of court, he was arrested,
and the judge, gathering up his papers, left the Bench, announcing
that the further hearing would be adjourned.
II
After this experience, Lola developed a fresh activity. Like a modern
Joan of Arc, she suddenly announced that she heard "Voices," and that,
on their instructions, she was giving up the stage for the platform.
Her plans were soon completed; and, on February 3, 1858, she mounted
the rostrum and made her début as a lecturer, at the Hope Chapel, New
York.
There were beery chuckles from the reporters who were "covering" this
effort. "Lola Montez in the chapel pulpit is good fun," was the
conclusion at which one of them arrived; and another headed his
column, "A Desperado in Dimity."
Judging from his account of this initial sample (a lecture on
"Beautiful Women"), the _Tribune_ representative did not regard it
very seriously:
"Temperance, exercise, and cleanliness, preached Lola the
plucky; light suppers and reasonable hours; jolly long walks
in thick boots and snug wrappers for the benefit of the
complexion. From these, said Lola, come good digestion, good
humour, and good sense. And that's the way, my dear Flora,
to be healthy and wealthy--speaking crinolinely and
red-petticoatedly--and wise."
Lola was before her time. Nowadays she would have set up as a "beauty
specialist." Had she done so, she would have secured a big income from
the sale of creams and perfumes, powders and paints, and dyes and
unguents, and all the other nostrums with which women endeavour to
recover their vanished charms. But, instead of becoming a
practitioner, she became an author and compiled a handbook, _The Arts
of Beauty, or Secrets of a Lady's Toilet_. This went very fully into
the subject, and had helpful hints on "Complexion Treatment," "Hair
Culture," "Removal of Wrinkles," and what was then coyly termed "Bust
Development." Importance was also attached to "Intellect," as a
sovereign specific for repairing the ravages of advancing years. "A
beautiful mind," announced the author, "is the first thing required
for a beautiful face."
Lola's light was not hidden under any bushel. An American firm of
publishers, convinced that there was money in this sort of thing, made
an acceptable offer and issued the work with a prefatory inscription:
+--------------------------------------------------------+
| TO |
| ALL MEN AND WOMEN |
| OF EVERY LAND |
| WHO ARE NOT AFRAID OF THEMSELVES |
| WHO TRUST SO MUCH TO THEIR OWN SOULS THAT THEY DARE TO |
| STAND UP |
| IN THE MIGHT OF THEIR |
| OWN INDIVIDUALITY |
| TO MEET THE TIDAL CURRENTS OF THE WORLD, THIS BOOK IS |
| RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED BY |
| THE AUTHOR |
+--------------------------------------------------------+
The title-page of this effort ran as follows:
+---------------------------------+
| THE |
| ARTS OF BEAUTY |
| OR |
| SECRETS OF A LADY'S TOILET |
| WITH HINTS TO GENTLEMEN |
| ON THE |
| ART OF FASCINATION |
| BY MADAME LOLA MONTEZ |
| COUNTESS OF LANDSFELD |
| NEW YORK |
| DICK AND FITZGERALD, PUBLISHERS |
| 18 ANN STREET |
+---------------------------------+
A Canadian publisher, John Lovell, on the look-out for a novelty, read
this effort and suggested that a friend of his, Émile Chevalier, of
Paris, should sponsor an edition of Lola's _Arts of Beauty_ for
consumption on the boulevards. "I am too much an admirer of the gifted
author," was M. Chevalier's response, "to undertake the work without
consulting her." Accordingly, he got into touch with Lola, offering to
have a translation made. "Thank you," she replied, "but I wish to do
it myself. You, however, can put in any corrections you think
necessary. I have not written anything in French since the death of
poor Bon-Bon [Dujarier], and I want to see if I still remember the
language." Apparently she did so, for, shortly afterwards, the
manuscript was sent across the Atlantic and delivered to M. Chevalier.
Within another month it was on the bookstalls. "I have retouched it
very little," says the editor in his preface, "as I was anxious to
preserve Madame Lola's distinctly original style. Her pen is as
mordant as her dog-whip."
M. Chevalier was charmed with the fashion in which Lola had acquitted
herself, and wrote florid letters of thanks to her in New York. With a
supplementary lecture on "Instructions for Gentlemen in the Art of
Fascination," which was added to fill up the book, he declared himself
much impressed. "This," he says, "exhibits a profound knowledge of the
human heart, and is altogether one of the finest and most piquant
criticisms on American manners with which I am familiar." "Who," he
continues, warming to his work, "is more thoroughly qualified to
discuss the development and preservation of natural beauty than the
Countess of Landsfeld?"; and in an introductory puff he adds: "These
observations are very judicious, and as applicable in Europe as in
America. They should, I feel, be indelibly engraved on the minds of
all sensible women."
Perhaps they were. At any rate, the result of M. Chevalier's
enterprise was a distinct success, and the Paris bookshops soon got
rid of 50,000 copies. In fact, Lola was very nearly a best-seller.
In addition to her expert views on "Beautiful Women," Lola had plenty
of other subjects up her sleeve, to be incorporated in a series of
lectures. The list covered a wide range, for it included such diverse
headings as "Ladies with Pasts," "Heroines of History," "Romanism,"
"Wits and Women of Paris," "Comic Aspects of Love," and "Gallantry."
On all of these matters she had plenty to say. On some of them quite a
lot, for they ran to an average of a dozen closely printed pages, and,
when delivered in public, took up three hours. In the one on
"Beautiful Women" precise details were given as to the adventitious
causes contributing to her own sylph-like figure, glossy hair and
pearly teeth, etc., and a number of prescriptions were also offered.
These, she recommended, should be manufactured at home. "For a few
shillings and a little trouble," she pointed out, "any lady can secure
an adequate supply of all such things, composed of materials far
superior to the expensive compounds bought from druggists;" and the
recipes, she insisted, "had been translated by herself from the
original French, Spanish, German, and Italian." Among these were
_Beaume à l'Antique_, _Unction de Maintenon_, and _Pommade de
Seville_; and "a retired actress at Gibraltar" was responsible for a
specific for "warding off baldness." Lola put it in two words--"avoid
nightcaps." But she was sympathetic about scalp troubles. "Without a
fine head of hair, no woman can be really beautiful.... The dogs would
bark at and run away from her in the street." To be well covered on
top was, she held, "quite as important for the opposite sex." "How
like a fool or a ruffian," she remarked, "do the noblest masculine
features appear if the hair of the head is bad. Many a dandy who has
scarcely brains or courage enough to catch a sheep has enslaved the
hearts of a hundred girls with his Hyperion locks!"
Although nominally the author of them, these lectures were, like her
previous flight, really strung together by that clerical "ghost," the
Rev. Chauncey Burr, with whom she had collaborated in her "memoirs."
Wielding a ready pen, he gave good value, for the chapters were well
sprinkled with choice classical quotations and elegant extracts from
the poets, together with allusions to Aristotle and Theophrastus, to
Madame de Staël and Washington Irving.
In the lecture on "Gallantry," Lola had a warm encomium for King
Ludwig.
"His Majesty," she informed her audience, "is one of the most refined
and high-toned gentlemen of the old school of manners. He is also one
of the most learned men of genius in all Europe. To him art is more
indebted than to any other monarch who has ever lived. King Ludwig is
the author of several volumes of poems, which are evidence of his
natural genius and elaborately cultivated taste.... He worships beauty
like one of the old troubadours; and his gallantry is caused by his
love of art. He was the greatest and best King Bavaria ever had."
In another passage she had a smack at the Catholic Church:
"An evil hour brought into Ludwig's counsels the most despotic and
illiberal of the Jesuits. Through the influence of his ministers the
natural liberality of the King was perpetually thwarted; and the
Government degenerated into a petty tyranny, where priestly influence
was sucking out the very life-blood of the people."
More than something of a doctrinaire, her observations on "Romanism"
(which she dubbed "an abyss of superstition and moral pollution") might
have fallen from the lips of a hot-gospeller of to-day. "Who," she asked
her hearers, "shall compute the stupefying and brutalizing effects of such
religion? Who will dare tell me that this terrible Church does not lie
upon the bosom of the present time like a vast, unwieldy, and offensive
corpse? America does not yet recognise how much she owes to the Protestant
principle. It is that principle which has given the world the four
greatest facts of modern times--steamboats, railroads, telegraphs, and the
American Republic."
This somewhat novel definition of "the four greatest facts of modern
times" was received with rapture by its hearers.
Despite certain jeers from some of the reviewers, the lectures
continued to attract the public. The novelty of Lola Montez at the
rostrum drew large audiences everywhere; and she had no difficulty in
arranging a long tour. Feeling, when it came to an end, that a similar
measure of success might be secured on the other side of the Atlantic,
she resolved to visit England.
Just before leaving America for this purpose, she wrote to a one-time
Munich acquaintance, who was then editing a New York magazine:
YORKVILLE,
_August 20, 1858._
MY DEAR MR. LELAND,
I wish to thank you for the very kind notice you gave in
your interesting magazine of my first book, and I have
requested Messrs. Dick and Fitzgerald, my publishers, to
send to your private address a copy of my _Arts of Beauty_.
I hope, as a _critique_, it will be found "not wanting" (I
do not mean not wanted).
Will you give my best and kindest regards to our friend
Caxton; and, with the hope of hearing from you before I
leave for Europe, which will be in a couple of months, I
remain, far or near, your friend,
LOLA MONTEZ.
Of course, there was a postscript:
"The subject of my lectures in Europe will be on America.
This should prove attractive."
Another letter suggests that an appointment with Leland had not been
kept:
I should have much liked to have seen you before my
departure for Ireland on Tuesday by Pacific, but I cannot
control circumstances, you know; and therefore all I ask you
until my return next July is a "place in your memory."
Maybe, I shall write to you, or, maybe, not. But, whatever
is, be sure that _You_ will not be forgotten by Yrs.
LOLA MONTEZ.
Again the inevitable postscript:
"Give my best and kindest regards to _our friend_. Tell him I
shall certainly manage to fill his columns with plenty more
newspaper lectures."
According to himself, Lola looked upon the young American with
something more than mere friendship. "Once," he says, in his
reminiscences, "she proposed to make a bolt with me to Europe, which I
declined. The secret of my influence," he adds smugly, "was that I
always treated her with respect, and never made love."
III
It was at the end of November, 1858, that Lola landed once more in the
United Kingdom. She began her campaign there in Dublin, where,
twenty-four years earlier, she had lived as a young bride, danced at
the Castle, and flirted with the Viceroy's aides-de-camp. During the
interval a crowded chapter, and one full of colour and life and
movement, had been written.
All being in readiness, the public were duly informed of her plans by
an advertisement:
MADAME LOLA MONTEZ, COUNTESS OF
LANDSFELD, will give a Lecture on "America and its
People," at the Round Room, Rotundo, on Wednesday
evening, December 8. Reserved seats, 3s.; unreserved, 2s. 6d.
The début would appear to have been highly successful. "The
announcement of the lecture," said a report the next morning, "created
a degree of interest almost unparalleled among the Dublin public. The
platform was regularly carried by a throng of admirers, giving
Madame Lola Montez barely space to reach her desk. She was listened to
with enraptured attention and warm manifestations of approval"; and
"very properly, an ill-bred fellow, who exclaimed, 'hee-haw' at
regular intervals, was loudly hissed."
[Illustration: _"Lectures and Life." From stage to platform_]
For some reason or other, Lola was constantly embroiled with
journalists. Thus, during this Dublin visit she had a passage at arms
with one of them, who had published some damaging criticisms about her
life in Paris. Thereupon, she wrote an angry letter to the editor of
the _Daily Express_. As, however, she was alluding to events that had
taken place nearly fifteen years earlier, her memory was somewhat at
fault. Thus, she insisted that, when Dujarier met his death, she was
living in the house of a Dr. and Mrs. Azan; and also that "the good
Queen of Bavaria wept bitterly when she left Munich."
But, if Lola Montez was not very reliable, the editor of the _Dublin
Daily Express_ was similarly slipshod in his comments. "It is now," he
declared, "well established that Lola Montez was born in 1824, her
father being the son of a baronet."
Crossing from Ireland to England, Lola, prior to appearing in London,
undertook a tour in the provinces. On January 8, 1859, she appeared at
the Free Trade Hall, Manchester, where her subject was "Portraits of
English and American Character." This went down very well, although,
to her disappointment, John Bright declined to take the chair. At
Liverpool, however, "the public went almost wild with excitement";
and, as a result, her share of the box-office receipts was £250. But,
although she attracted the mob, she managed to upset the
susceptibilities of the critics. "Some of Madam's allusions," declared
a shocked hearer, "were in questionable taste, and, as she delivered
her address, the epithet 'coarse' fell from several members of the
audience."
A visit to Chester, which followed the Liverpool one, was marked by an
unfortunate incident:
"We learn with sorrow," said an eye-witness, "that on Thursday last
the lady introduced, if not American, certainly not English, manners
into one of our most venerable cathedrals. When, accompanied by a
masculine escort, she entered the sacred edifice, the gentleman (?)
demurred to removing his hat. While in dispute on this point of
etiquette, Madam's pet dog attempted to join her. On being informed by
the sexton that such canine companionship was inadmissible, her anger
was aroused and she withdrew in considerable dudgeon."
The provincial tour was an extensive one; and, during it, she
encountered a certain amount of competition. Thus, at Bristol she was
sandwiched in between Barnum and a quarterly meeting of the Bible
Society. None the less, "the fair Lola had a very cordial reception
from a number of respectable citizens." But she was to have a set-back
in one town that must have held many memories of her girlhood. This
was Bath, where she appeared in the Assembly Rooms. The attitude of
the press was distinctly inimical. "We must say," was one acid
comment, "that a greater _sell_ we have not met with for a very long
time. All the audience got for their money were some remarks of the
most commonplace and twaddling description. They lasted about an hour,
and even this was an hour too much." Still, Brighton, where the tour
finished, more than made up for Bath; and she was so successful there
that "the Pavilion was crammed to the doors, and additional lectures
had to be given." Thus, all was well that ended well.
A provincial triumph was worth having. Lola, however, had set her
heart on conquering London. With this end in view, accordingly, she
despatched an emissary ahead to make the preliminary arrangements.
Offers of theatres were showered upon her. One was from that
remarkable figure, Edward Tyrell Smith. She would probably have done
well under his management, for nobody understood showmanship better
than this British Barnum. In this direction he had nothing to learn
from anybody. Beginning his career as a sailor, he had soon tired of a
life on the ocean wave, and, abandoning the prospect of becoming
another Nelson, had joined the police force as a humble constable. But
he did not remain one long; and became in turn a Fleet Street
publican, the proprietor of a Haymarket night-house, an auctioneer, a
picture dealer, a bill discounter (with a side line in usury), and the
editor of a Sunday organ. Next, the theatre attracted his energies;
and in 1852 he secured a lease of Drury Lane at the moderate rental of
£70 a week. On Boxing-night he offered his first programme there. This
consisted of _Uncle Tom's Cabin_ (with "fierce bloodhounds complete"),
followed by a full length pantomime and a "roaring farce." Value for
money in those palmy days. But, as an entrepreneur, Mr. Smith was
always ahead of his period. Thus, he abolished the customary charge
for booking; and, instead of increasing them, he lowered his prices
when he had a success; and it is also to his credit that he introduced
matinées.
Such a manager deserved to go far. This one did go far. Having
discovered his niche, the pushful Smith soon had his fingers in
several other pies. Thus, from Drury Lane he went to the Alhambra, and
from the Alhambra to Astley's, with intervening spells at the Lyceum
and the Elephant and Castle. He also took in his stride Her Majesty's
and Cremorne. All was fish that he swept into his net. Some, of
course, were minnows, but others were Tritons. Charles Mathews and the
two Keans, together with Giuglini and Titiens, served under his
banner, as did also acrobats, conjurers, and pugilists. He "ran"
opera, circuses, gambling hells, and "moral waxworks" simultaneously;
and, these fields of endeavour not being enough for him, he added to
them by standing for Parliament (opposing Samuel Whitbread) and
editing the _Sunday Times_. Always a man of resource, when he was
conducting a tavern he put his barmaids into "bloomers." This daring
stroke had its reward; and, by swelling the consumption of beer,
perceptibly increased his bank balance. Hence, it is not perhaps
unnatural that such widely spread activities should have inspired a
lyrical apostrophe:
Awake, my Muse, with fervour and with pith,
To sing the praise of Lessee Edward Smith!
Yet, shrewd as he was, Mr. Smith was himself once bitten. During his
money-lending interval, he happened to discount (at what he considered
a "business" rate) some bills for £600 out of which Prince Louis
Napoleon, then sheltering in London, had been swindled by some
card-sharpers at the notorious Judge and Jury Club. The next morning,
the victim, coming to his senses, went to the police, and the police
went to the sharpers. As a result, the members of the gang were
arrested and the bills were cancelled. Feeling that he had a genuine
grievance, since he was out of pocket by the transaction, the acceptor
waited until a turn of Fortune's wheel had established Louis Napoleon
at the Tuileries. He then wrote to him for permission to open some
pleasure gardens in Paris on the lines of those he had conducted at
Cremorne. The desired permission, however, was withheld.
"No gratitude," said the disappointed applicant.
IV
Tempting as were the prospects he offered, Lola, after some
discussion, felt that she could do better, from a financial point of
view, without the help of Mr. E. T. Smith. Accordingly, making her own
arrangements, she hired the St. James's Hall, where, on April 7, 1859,
she delivered the first of a series of four lectures.
Although a considerable interval had elapsed since she was last in
London, the public had not forgotten the dramatic circumstances under
which she had then appeared at Marlborough Street police court. This
fact, combined with the lure of her subject, "Beautiful Women," was
sufficient to cram every portion of the building with an interested
and expectant audience. They came from all parts. Clapham and
Highgate were no less anxious for guidance than Kensington and
Belgravia. If an entertainment-tax had been levied at that period the
revenue would have benefited substantially. "The appearance on the
platform of the fair lecturer," said one account, "was responsible for
the most extensive display of opera glasses that has been seen in
London since the Empress Eugénie visited the Opera."
By an unfortunate coincidence, the St. James's Hall _première_ clashed
with another attraction elsewhere. This was the confirmation that
evening of the dusky King of Bonny by the Bishop of London. Still, a
considerable number managed to attend both items; and, of the two, the
lecture proved the greater draw.
Striking a note of warning at the outset, Lola began by telling her
hearers that, "It is the penalty of Nature that young girls must fade
and become as wizened as their grandmothers." But she had a message of
hope to offer, for, she said, "wrinkles can be warded off and autumn
tresses made to preserve their pristine freshness." The cure was
merely careful dieting and the "abolition of injurious cosmetics and
the health-destroying bodice." Taking the measure of her audience, she
laid on flattery with a trowel. "You have," she assured them, "only to
look into the ranks of the upper classes to see around you the most
beautiful women in Europe; and where this is concerned, I must give
the preference to the nobility of England." Among the examples held up
for admiration by her were the Duchess of Sutherland--"the paragon and
type of Britain's aristocracy"--and "the very voluptuous Lady
Blessington." Approval for the Duchess of Wellington, however, was
less pronounced, since, while admitting her physical charms, Lola
declared her to be "of little intellect, and as cold as a piece of
sculpture."
Claiming to have visited Turkey (but omitting to say when), Lola
offered an item unrecorded in the archives of the British Embassy
there:
"In Turkey I saw very few beautiful women. The lords of
creation in that part of the world treat the opposite sex as
you would geese--stuff them to make them fat. Through the
politeness of Sir Stratford Canning, English Ambassador at
Constantinople, I was kindly permitted to visit the Sultan's
harem as often as I pleased and there look upon the 'lights
of the world.' These 'lights of the world' consisted of five
hundred bodies of unwieldy avoirdupois. The ladies of the
harem gazed upon my leanness with commiserating wonder."
The lecture finished up on a high note:
"It has been my privilege to see some of the most celebrated
beauties that shine in the gilded courts of fashion
throughout the world--from St. James's to St. Petersburg,
from Paris to India--and yet I am unaware of any quality
that can atone for the absence of an unpolished mind and an
unlovely heart. A charming activity of soul is the real
source of woman's beauty. It is that which gives the
sweetest expression to her face and lights up her
_personnel_."
In the matter of publicity Lola had nothing of which to complain; and
the next morning descriptive columns were published by the dozen.
The début of Madame Lola Montez (announced the _Star_), in
the presence of a large and fashionable gathering, was a
decided success. Every portion of the spacious and elegant
building was completely filled. Madame presented herself in
that black velvet costume which seems to be the only
alternative to white muslin for ladies who aspire to be
considered historic. Not Marie Stuart herself could have
become it better than Lola Montez. Her face, air, attitude,
and elocution are thoroughly and bewilderingly feminine.
Perhaps her smartest and happiest remark was the one in
which, with a pretty affectation, she says, "If I were a
gentleman, I should like an American young lady to flirt
with, but a typical English girl for a wife." This dictum
was received with much applause.
One can well believe it.
An anonymous leader, but which, from its florid touches, was evidently
penned by George Augustus Sala, dwelt on Lola's personality:
Some disappointment may have been caused by the appearance
of the fair lecturer. A Semiramis, a Zenobia, a Cleopatra,
in marvellous robes of gold and silver tissue, might have
been looked for; but, in reality, the rostrum was occupied
by a very handsome lady, with a very charming voice and a
very winning smile.... Madame Lola Montez lectures very well
and very naturally. Some will go to hear the accomplished
elocutionist; others will be envious to see the wife of
Captain James and silly Mr. Heald; the friend of Dujarier
and Beauvalon; the _cara sposa_ of King Ludwig. Phryne went
to the bath as Venus--and Madame Lola Montez lectures at St.
James's Hall.
Taking a professional interest in everything connected, however
remotely, with the drama (and having more time in which to do it) the
_Era_ offered its readers a considered opinion at greater length:
If any amongst the full and fashionable auditory that
attended her first appearance fancied (with a lively
recollection of certain scandalous chronicles in the
newspapers touching upon her antecedents) that they were
about to behold a formidable-looking woman, of Amazonian
audacity and palpably strong-wristed as well as
strong-minded, their disappointment must have been grievous;
greater if they anticipated the legendary bulldog at her
side, and the traditionary pistols in her girdle, and the
horse-whip in her hand. The Lola Montez who made a graceful
and impressive obeisance to those who gave her on Thursday
night so cordial and encouraging a reception appeared simply
as a good-looking lady in the bloom of womanhood, attired
in a plain black dress, with easy unrestrained manners....
The lecture might have been a newspaper article, the first
chapter of a book of travels, or the speech of a long-winded
American Ambassador at a Mansion House dinner. All was
exceedingly decorous and diplomatic, slightly gilded here
and there with those commonplace laudations that stir a
British public into the utterance of patriotic plaudits. A
more inoffensive entertainment could hardly be imagined; and
when the six sections into which the lady had divided her
discourse, were exhausted, and her final bow elicited a
renewal of the applause that had accompanied her entrance,
the impression on the departing visitors must have been that
of having spent an hour in company with a well-informed lady
who had gone to America, had seen much to admire there, and,
coming back, had had over the tea-table the talk of the
evening to herself. Whatever the future disquisitions of the
Countess of Landsfeld may be, there is little doubt that
many will go to hear them for the sake of the peculiar
celebrity of the lecturer.
To this, the _Era_ reporter naïvely added: "Her foreign accent might
belong to any language from Irish to Bavarian."
Lola did not have the field entirely to herself. While she was telling
the St. James's Hall public how to improve their appearance at very
small cost, a rival practitioner, with a _salon_ in Bond Street, was,
in the advertisement columns of the morning papers, announcing her
readiness to furnish the necessary requisites at a very high figure.
This was a "Madame Rachel," some of whose dupes parted with as much as
five hundred guineas, on the understanding that she would make them
"Beautiful for ever!"
Like Lola Montez, "Madame Rachel" brought out a puff pamphlet,
directing attention to her specifics. This production beat the effort
of the Rev. Chauncey Burr, for it bristled with references, to the
Bible and Shakespeare, to Grace Darling and Florence Nightingale.
Among her nostrums was a bottle of "Jordan Water," which she sold at
the modest figure of £15 15s. a flask. Chemical analysis, however,
revealed it to have come, not from Palestine, but from the River
Thames. She also supplied, on extortionate terms, various drugs and
"medical treatment" of a description upon which the Law frowns
heavily. As a result, "Madame Rachel" left Bond Street for the dock of
the Old Bailey, where she was sent to penal servitude for swindling.
In the lecture on "Wits and Women of Paris," Lola did not forget her
old friends. She had a good word for Dumas:
"Of the literary lights during my residence in Paris,
Alexandre Dumas was the first, as he would be in any city
anywhere. He was not only the boon companion of princes, but
he was the prince of boon companions. He is now about
fifty-five years old, a tall, fine-looking man, with
intellect stamped on his brow. Of all the men I ever met he
is the most brilliant in conversation. He is always sought
for at convivial suppers, and is always sure to attend
them."
Discretion, perhaps, prevented her saying anything about Dujarier and
the tragedy of his death. Still, she had something to say about Roger
de Beauvoir, whom she declared to be "one of the three men that kept
Paris alive when I was there." Her recollection of Jules Janin
rankled. "He was," she said, "a malicious and caustic critic.
Everybody feared him, and everybody was civil to him through fear. I
do not know anyone (even his wife) who loves him in Paris." But Eugéne
Sue was in another category. "He was an honest, sincere, truth-loving
man; and it will be long before Paris can fill the place which his
death has made vacant."
In the "Heroines of History" lecture the audience were told that "All
history is full of startling examples of female heroism, proving that
woman's heart is made of as stout a stuff and of as brave a metal as
that which beats within the ribs of the coarser sex." But, feminist as
she was, Lola had no sympathy with any suggestion to grant them the
franchise. "Women who get together in conventions for the purpose of
ousting men will never," she declared, "accomplish anything. They can
effect legislation only by quiet and judicious counsel. These
convention women are very poor politicians."
The last lectures in the series dealt with "Comic Aspects of Love,"
and "Strong-minded Women." Among the typical specimens offered for
consideration were such diverse personalities as Semiramis, Queen
Elizabeth, the Countess of Derby, George Sand, and Mrs. Bloomer. In
the discourse on "The Comic Aspects of Love" the range swept from
Aristotle and Plato to Mahomet and the Mormons. If the B.B.C. had been
in existence, Lola would undoubtedly have been booked for a "talk." As
it was, two of the lectures were reprinted in _The Welcome Guest_, "a
magazine of recreative reading for all," with Robert Browning, Charles
Kingsley and Monckton Milnes among its contributors. Thinking they had
a market, an enterprising publisher rushed out a volume, _The Lectures
of Lola Montez_. When a copy reached the editor, it was reviewed in
characteristically elephantine fashion by the _Athenæum_:
"We can imagine the untravelled dames of Fifth Avenue
listening with wonder to a female lecturer who seems to have
lived hand in glove with all the crowned heads of Europe;
and who can tell them, not only Who's-Who, but also repeat
their conversations, criticise their personal appearances,
and describe the secret arts by which the men preserve their
powers and the women their beauty."