_January 22d._--I have discovered where I have seen Mr. Slater before.
I stopped at Stewart's yesterday to buy some gloves (I was paid the
morning after the Slater party), and as I walked down the shop one of
the individuals popularly known as "walkers" approached me.
"What do you desire, sir?" I heard a pompous voice say. "Where may I
direct you?"
"Gloves," I said, mechanically.
"Third section on the right hand, Fourth Avenue side, sir."
I looked at my guide, as a familiar tone struck my ear. It was Mr.
Slater. At the same instant he recognized me. A moment before we had
been independent human beings--at the next our consciousness of the
mutual knowledge we possessed of each other destroyed our comfort. Mr.
Slater walked away in one direction and I in another. Still, it was a
comfort to know where I had seen him before.
_January 27th._--I find that a whole week has elapsed since I have
written anything in my journal. The truth is, I have been too
miserable. This occupation is degrading. Everywhere I go some fresh
humiliation awaits me. The very servants look on me with suspicion. At
one place the butler followed me around all the evening as if I were a
thief. I don't think any one noticed it, yet I could not rid myself of
the feeling that Morton, who happened to be there, looked at me
suspiciously once or twice. Suppose he were to discover everything,
and tell it at the club! It is too hideous to be thought of.
At another house, where I had been obliged to sing comic songs and
make a buffoon of myself for two hours, my host--an enormously rich
and illiterate person--presented me with a check for twenty-five
dollars as I left the house. I returned it indignantly, but he pressed
it into my hand, saying, heartily:
"I ain't goin' to take it back, so you may as well keep it. You done
first-rate this evening--first-rate! 'Tain't charity, but because
what you done is worth more than fifteen dollars by a long shot; and
when I have pleasure, I expect to pay for it, like I do for everything
else."
To avoid a scene, I had to keep the money. I am certainly richer than
I was. I have been able, by my honest exertions, to supply myself with
the luxuries without which I cannot exist; and when my present income
is doubled, I shall be able to pay something on account for my board
bill here, and settle some of my other bills. The question that now
troubles me is, Are they _honest_ exertions?
Since the evening at Mr. Griddle's (the rich manufacturer who gave me
the check) I have been to several places, at all of which, among
others that I knew, I saw Morton. His manner is becoming most
unpleasant. He said to me the other night, with that satirical grin of
his:
"You're getting to be quite a society man, Valentine. Never used to
see you about so much. It's always been my way, but it's something new
for you."