_Ancient Dame._ "What d'ye say? They call he a 'shuvver,' do they? I
see. They put he to walk behind and shove 'em up the hills, I reckon."
* * * * *
A CYCLE OF CATHAY.--_The Yorkshire Evening Post_, in reporting the case
of a motor-cyclist charged with travelling at excessive speed on the
highway at Selby, represents a police-sergeant as stating that "he timed
defendant over a distance of 633 years, which was covered in 64 secs."
The contention of the defendant that he had been "very imperfectly
timed" has an air of captiousness.
* * * * *
"Many roads in the district are unfit for motorists," is the report of
the Tadcaster surveyor to his council. We understand the inhabitants
have resolved to leave well alone.
* * * * *
At a meeting of the Four Wheeler's Association, a speaker boasted, with
some justification, that a charge which is brought every day against
drivers of motor-cars has never been brought against members of their
Association, namely, that of driving at an excessive speed.
* * * * *
Rumour is again busy with the promised appearance of a motor-bus which
is to be so quiet that you will not know that there is one on the road
until you have been run over.
* * * * *
Illustration: AN UNPARDONABLE MISTAKE.--_Short-sighted Old Lady._
"Porter!"
* * * * *
Illustration: NOSCE TEIPSUM.--_Lady Cyclist_ (_touring in North
Holland_). "What a ridiculous costume!"
* * * * *
Illustration: _Sporting Constable_ (_with stop-watch--on "police trap"
duty, running excitedly out from his ambush, to motorist just nearing
the finish of the measured furlong_). "For 'evin's sake, guv'nor, let
'er rip, and ye'll do the 220 in seven and a 'arf!"
* * * * *