A Pedestrians' Protection League is being formed to uphold the rights of
foot-passengers on the highways. As no bane is without its antidote, an
opposition union is to be organised, having in view the adoption of the
following regulations:--
1. Every pedestrian must carry on his front and back a large and
conspicuous number as a means of easy and rapid identification.
2. No foot passenger shall quit the side-walk, except at certain
authorised crossings. In country lanes and places where there is no
side-walk the ditch shall be considered equivalent to the same.
3. Each foot-passenger about to make use of such authorised
crossings shall thrice sound a danger-signal on a hooter, fog-horn
or megaphone; and, after due warning has thus been given, shall
traverse the road at a speed of not less than twelve miles an hour.
The penalty for infringement to be forty shillings or one month.
4. Any pedestrian obstructing a motor by being run over, causing a
motor to slow down or stop, or otherwise deranging the traffic,
shall be summarily dealt with: the punishment for this offence to be
five years' penal servitude, dating from arrest or release from
hospital, as the case may be.
5. Should the pedestrian thus trespassing on the highway lose his
life in an encounter with a motor-car, he shall not be liable to
penal servitude; compensation for shock and loss of time, however,
shall be paid from his estate to the driver of the car, such amount
being taxed by the coroner.
6. All cattle, sheep, pigs, swine, hares, rabbits, conies, and other
ground game, and every goose, duck, fowl, or any animal whatsoever
with which the motor shall collide shall, _ipso facto_, be
confiscated to the owner of the motor.
7. Any comment, remark, reflection, sneer or innuendo concerning the
shape, speed, appearance, noise, smell, or other attribute of a
motor-car, or of its occupants, shall be actionable; and every
foot-passenger thus offending shall be bound over in the sum of L500
to keep the peace.
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The Scotchman who tumbled off a bicycle says that in future he intends
to "let wheel alone."
* * * * *
Illustration: _Mabel's three bosom Friends_ (_all experts--who have run
round to see the Christmas gift_). "Hullo, Mab!. Why, what on earth are
you doing?"
_Mab_ (_in gasps_). "Oh--you see--it was awfully kind of the Pater to
give it to me--but I have to look after it myself--and I knew I should
_never have breath enough to blow the tyres out_!"
* * * * *
Illustration: AN ACCOMMODATING PARTY.--_Lady Driver._ "Can you show us
the way to Great Missenden, please?"
_Weary Willie._ "Cert'nly, miss, cert'nly. We're agoin' that way. 'Op
up, Joe. Anythink to oblige a lady!"
* * * * *
Among the correspondence in the _Daily Mail_ on the subject of "The
Motor Problem," there is a letter from a physician, who exposes very
cynically a scheme for improving his practice.
"I am," he says, "a country doctor, and during the last five years have
had not a single case of accident to pedestrians caused by motor car....
As soon as I can afford it I intend to buy a motor."
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