“My grandfather was a baronet, and my grand-uncle is Admiral Sir Peter
Hawkshaw, whose flagship, as you may know, is the _Ajax_, seventy-four.”
“I know him well,” responded my new acquaintance. “We were drunk
together this night week. He bears for arms Lot’s wife after she was
turned into a pillar of salt, with the device, ‘I thirst’.”
This was an allusion to the drysalter. For I soon found that the young
gentlemen in the cockpit were intimately acquainted with all of the
antecedents, glorious or otherwise, of their superior officers.
The lie in the early part of this sentence was patent to me, but so
great was the power to charm of this squinting, wide-mouthed fellow,
that I felt myself drawn to him irresistibly, and something in my
countenance showed it, for he linked his arm through mine and began
again,--
“I know your great-aunt, too, Polly Hawkshaw. Dreadful old girl. I hear
she can tack ship as well as the admiral; knows to a shilling what his
mess bill is, and teaches him trigonometry when he is on leave.”
This was, of course, a vilification, and Lady Hawkshaw’s name was
not Polly, but Apollonia; but I blush to say I spoke not one word in
defense of either her or her name. It occurred to me that my new friend
was a person who could give me much information about my outfit and
uniforms, and I candidly stated my case to him.
“Come on,” he cried. “There’s a rascal of a haberdasher here who lives
off his Majesty’s officers, and I’ll take you there and fit you out;
for Sir Peter’s the man to have his young officers smart. A friend of
mine--poor fellow!--happened to be caught in mufti in the _Ajax_ the
other day, and Sir Peter had all hands turned up for an execution. My
unhappy friend begged that he might be shot instead of hanged, and Sir
Peter, I’ll admit, granted him the favor. The poor fellow tied the
handkerchief over his eyes himself, forgave all his enemies, and asked
his friends to pay his debts. Zounds, ’twas the most affecting scene I
ever witnessed.”
I plainly perceived that my companion was talking to frighten me, and
showed it by thrusting my tongue into my cheek, which caused him to
burst out laughing. He presently became grave, however, and assured me
solemnly that a sea-officer had his choice of dressing handsomely, or
being court-martialed and shot. “For,” said he, “the one hundred and
forty-fourth regulation of the service reads, ‘All of his Majesty’s
sea-officers are commanded to marry heiresses, and in these cases, the
usual penalties for the abduction of heiresses are remitted’. Now, how
can we abduct heiresses, or even get them to look at us, without fine
clothes? Women, my boy, are caught by the eye alone--and I know ’em, by
Gad!”
This trifling speech remained in my memory, and the day came when I
recalled the idle talk of us two laughing midshipmen as prophetic.
We went together to a shop, where, under his direction and that of
an oily-tongued shopman, I ordered one of the handsomest outfits any
midshipman could possibly have, including two dozen of silk stockings,
as my new-found friend informed me that every man on board his
Majesty’s ships, from the admiral down to the jack-o’-the-dust, always
wore silk stockings, because in the event of being struck by a ball or
a pike or a cutlass in action, the danger from inflammation was much
less with silk than with cotton or wool.
All went swimmingly, until it was time to pay for the things. Then, I
acknowledge, I was at a loss. The shopman, suddenly changing his tone,
cried out to my companion,--
“Mr. Giles Vernon, I remember the last reefer you brought here bought
near a boatload and paid with the foresail, as you gentlemen of the sea
call it. I will not be done this time, I assure you.”
At this, Giles Vernon promptly drew his sword, which did not disturb
the shopman in the least, as I found out afterward; young gentlemen of
Giles’ age and rank, in Portsmouth, drew their swords whenever they
could not draw their purses. But I was very unhappy, not on Giles’
account, but on that of the poor shopman, whom I expected to see
weltering in his blood. After a wordy war, Giles left the shop, taking
me with him, and menacing the shopman, in case the purchases I had
ordered did not come aboard the _Ajax_ that night.
I thought it wise to suggest that I should now go aboard, as it was
well on to three o’clock. Giles agreed with me. I had forgotten to ask
him what ship he was attached to, but it suddenly occurred to me that
he, too, might be in the _Ajax_, and I asked him. Imagine my delight
when he said yes.
“But if the admiral does not behave himself better,” he added, “and
if the captain does not ask me to dinner oftener than he has been
doing lately, I shall prefer charges against both of them. I have been
assured by the lords in admiralty that any request of mine will be
regarded as an order by them, and I shall request that Admiral Hawkshaw
and Captain Guilford be relieved of their commands.”
By that time we had reached the water and there, stepping into a
splendid, eight-oared barge, I saw Sir Peter Hawkshaw. He caught sight
of us at the same moment, and the change in Giles Vernon’s manner was
what might have been expected. He was even more modest and deferential
than I, as we advanced.
“Here you are!” pleasantly cried the admiral to me. “You ran away so
fast t’other day, that I had no chance to give you any directions, and
I scarcely expected you to turn up to-day. However, I shall now take
you to the ship. Mr. Vernon, I have room for you.”
“Thank you, sir,” responded Giles very gratefully, “but I have a
pressing engagement on shore--a matter of important business--” at
which I saw the suspicion of a grin on the admiral’s homely old face.
He said little to me until we were in the great cabin of the _Ajax_.
For myself, I can only say that I was so awed by the beauty, the
majesty, the splendor of one of the finest ships of the line in the
world, that I was dumb with delight and amazement. Once in the cabin,
the admiral asked me about my means and my outfit. I burst out with the
whole story of what occurred in the haberdasher’s shop, at which Sir
Peter looked very solemn, and lectured me upon the recklessness of my
conduct in ordering things with no money to pay for them, and followed
it up with an offer to fit me out handsomely. This I accepted with the
utmost gratitude, and in a day or two I found myself established as one
of his Majesty’s midshipmen in the cockpit of the _Ajax_, and I began
to see life.