My Marriage in my Eleventh Year makes me the Slave of my Wife, and
procures for me Cudgellings from my Mother-in-law--A Ghost of Flesh and
Blood.
On the first evening of my marriage my father was not present. As he
told me at my departure that he had still to settle some articles on my
account, and therefore I was to wait for his arrival, I refused, in
spite of all the efforts that were made, to appear that evening.
Nevertheless the marriage festivities went on. We waited the next day
for my father, but still he did not come. They then threatened to bring
a party of soldiers to drag me to the marriage ceremony; but I gave them
for an answer, that, if this were done, it would help them little, for
the ceremony would not be lawful except as a voluntary act. At last, to
the joy of all interested, my father arrived towards evening, the
articles referred to were amended, and the marriage ceremony was
performed.
Here I must mention a little anecdote. I had read in a Hebrew book of an
approved plan for a husband to secure lordship over his better half for
life. He was to tread on her foot at the marriage ceremony; and if both
hit on the stratagem, the first to succeed would retain the upper hand.
Accordingly, when my bride and I were placed side by side at the
ceremony this trick occurred to me, and I said to myself, Now you must
not let the opportunity pass of securing for your whole lifetime
lordship over your wife. I was just going to tread on her foot, but a
certain _Je ne sais quoi_, whether fear, shame, or love, held me back.
While I was in this irresolute state, all at once I felt the slipper of
my wife on my foot with such an impression that I should almost have
screamed aloud if I had not been checked by shame. I took this for a bad
omen and said to myself, Providence has destined you to be the slave of
your wife, you must not try to slip out of her fetters. From my
faint-heartedness and the heroic mettle of my wife, the reader may
easily conceive why this prophecy had to be actually realised.
I stood, however, not only under the slipper of my wife, but--what was
very much worse--under the lash of my mother-in-law. Nothing of all that
she had promised was fulfilled. Her house, which she had settled on her
daughter as a dowry, was burdened with debt. Of the six years' board
which she had promised me I enjoyed scarcely half a year's, and this
amid constant brawls and squabbles. She even, trusting to my youth and
want of spirit, ventured now and then to lay hands on me, but this I
repaid not infrequently with compound interest. Scarcely a meal passed
during which we did not fling at each other's head, bowls, plates,
spoons, and similar articles.
Once I came home from the academy extremely hungry. As my mother-in-law
and wife were occupied with the business of the public house, I went
myself into the room where the milk was kept; and as I found a dish of
curds and cream, I fell upon it, and began to eat. My mother-in-law came
as I was thus occupied, and screamed in rage, "You are not going to
devour the milk with the cream!" The more cream the better, thought I,
and went on eating, without disturbing myself by her cry. She was going
to wrest the dish forcibly from my hands, beat me with her fists, and
let me feel all her ill-will. Exasperated by such treatment, I pushed
her from me, seized the dish, and smashed it on her head. That was a
sight! The curds ran down all over her. She seized in rage a piece of
wood, and if I had not cleared out in all haste, she would certainly
have beat me to death.
Scenes like this occurred very often. At such skirmishes of course my
wife had to remain neutral, and whichever party gained the upper hand,
it came home to her very closely. "Oh!" she often complained, "if only
the one or the other of you had a little more patience!"
Tired of a ceaseless open war I once hit upon a stratagem, which had a
good effect for a short time at least. I rose about midnight, took a
large vessel of earthenware, crept with it under my mother-in-law's bed,
and began to speak aloud into the vessel after the following
fashion:--"O Rissia, Rissia, you ungodly woman, why do you treat my
beloved son so ill? If you do not mend your ways, your end is near, and
you will be damned to all eternity." Then I crept out again, and began
to pinch her cruelly; and after a while I slipped silently back to bed.
The following morning she got up in consternation, and told my wife,
that my mother had appeared to her in a dream, and had threatened and
pinched her on my account. In confirmation she showed the blue marks on
her arm. When I came from the synagogue, I did not find my mother-in-law
at home, but found my wife in tears. I asked the reason, but she would
tell me nothing. My mother-in-law returned with dejected look, and eyes
red with weeping. She had gone, as I afterwards learned, to the Jewish
place of burial, thrown herself on my mother's grave, and begged for
forgiveness of her fault. She then had the burial place measured, and
ordered a wax-light as long as its circumference, for burning in the
synagogue. She also fasted the whole day, and towards me showed herself
extremely amiable.
I knew of course what was the cause of all this, but acted as if I did
not observe it, and rejoiced in secret over the success of my stratagem.
In this manner I had peace for some time, but unfortunately it did not
last long. The whole was soon forgotten again, and on the slightest
occasion the dance went on as before. In short, I was soon afterwards
obliged to leave the house altogether, and accept a position as a
private tutor. Only on the great feast-days I used to come home.