In presenting the following epistle to my readers, it may be
necessary to apprise them, that it is the genuine production of my
eldest daughter, Julia, who has lately obtained the situation of
lady's-maid in the house of Mr. Samuel Briggs, an independent wax
and tallow-chandler, of Fenchurch-street, City, but who keeps his
family away from business, in fashionable style, in
Russell-square, Bloomsbury. The example of many of our most
successful literary _chiffonniers_, who have not thought it
disgraceful to publish scraps of private history and unedited
scandal, picked up by them in the houses to which they happened to
be admitted, will, it is presumed, sufficiently justify my
daughter in communicating, for the amusement of an enlightened
public, and the benefit of an affectionate parent, a few
circumstances connected with Briggs' family, with such
observations and reflections of her own as would naturally suggest
themselves to a refined and intelligent mind. Should this first
essay of a timid girl in the thorny path of literature be
favourably received by my friends and patrons, it will stimulate
her to fresh exertions; and, I fondly hope, may be the means of
placing her name in the same rank by those of Lady Morgan, Madame
Tussaud, Mrs. Glasse, the Invisible Lady, and other national
ornaments of the feminine species.--[PUNCH.
Russl Squear, July 14.
Dear PA,--I nose yew will he angxious to ear how I get on sins I left the
wing of the best of feathers. I am appy to say I am hear in a very
respeckble fammaly, ware they keeps too tawl footmen to my hand; one of
them is cawld John, and the other Pea-taw,--the latter is as vane as a
P-cock of his leggs, wich is really beutyful, and puffickly
streight--though the howskeaper ses he has bad angles; but some pipple loox
at things with only 1 i, and sea butt there defex. Mr. Wheazey is the
ass-matick butler and cotchman, who has lately lost his heir, and can't get
no moar, wich is very diffycult after a serting age, even with the help of
Rowland's Madagascar isle. Mrs. Tuffney, the howsekeaper, is a prowd and
oystere sort of person. I rather suspex that she's jellows of me and
Pea-taw, who as bean throwink ship's i's at me. She thinks to look down on
me, but she can't, for I hold myself up; and though we brekfists and t's at
the same _board_, I treat with a _deal_ of _hot-tar_, and shoes her how
much I dispeyses her supper-silly-ous conduck. Besides these indyvidules,
there's another dome-stick, wich I wish to menshun particlar--wich is the
paige Theodore, that, as the poat says, as bean
"--contrived a double debt to pay,
A _paige_ at night--a _tigger_ all the day."
In the mornink he's a tigger, drest in a tite froc-cote, top-boots, buxkin
smawl-closes, and stuck up behind Master Ahghustusses cab. In the heavening
he gives up the tigger, and comes out as the paige, in a fansy jackit, with
too rose of guilt buttings, wich makes him the perfeck immidge of Mr.
Widdycomb, that ice sea in the serkul at Hashley's Amphitheatre. The
paige's bisiness is to _weight_ on the ladies, wich is naterally _light_
work; and being such a small chap, you may suppose they can never make
enuff of him. These are all the upper servants, of coarse, I shan't lower
myself by notusing the infearyour crechurs; such as the owsmade, coke,
_edcett rar_, but shall purceed drackly to the other potion of the fammaly,
beginning with the old guv'nor (as Pee-taw cawls him), who as no idear of i
life, and, like one of his own taller lites, has only _dipped_ into good
sosiety. Next comes Missus:--in fact, I ot to have put her fust, for the
grey mayor is the best boss in our staybill, (Exkews the wulgarisrm.) After
Missus, I give persedince to Mr. Ahghustuss, who, bean the only sun in the
house, is natrally looked up to by everybody in it. He as bean brot up a
perfick genelman, at Oxfut, and is consekently fond of spending his knights
in _le trou de charbon_, and afterwards of skewering the streets--twisting
double knockers, pulling singlebelles, and indulging in other fashonable
divertions, to wich the low-minded polease, and the settin madgistrets have
strong objexions. His Pa allows him only sicks hundred a-year, wich isn't
above 1/2 enuff to keep a cabb, a cupple of hosses, and other thinks, which
it's not necessary to elude to here. Isn't it ogious to curb so fine a
spirit? I wish you see him, Pa; such i's, and such a pear of beutyful black
musquitoes on his lip--enuff to turn the hidds of all the wimming he meats.
The other membranes of this fammaly are the 3 dorters--Miss Sofiar, Miss
Selinar, and Miss Jorgina, wich are all young ladyes, full groan, and goes
in public characters to the Kaledonian bawls, and is likewise angxious to
get off hands as soon as a feverable opportunity hoffers. It's beleaved the
old guv'nor can give them ten thowsand lbs. a-peace, wich of coarse will
have great weight with a husband. There's some Qrious stoaries going--Law!
there's Missuses bell. I must run up-stairs, so must conclewd obroply, but
hope to resoom my pen necks weak.
Believe me, my dear Pa,
Your affeckshnt
JULIA PUNCH.
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