room all alone?
TOBY-DOG
It happens so now and then.
THE LITTLE DOG
And you don't bark? _I_ cry as soon as I'm left alone. I'm bored,
afraid, feel sick, and chew up the cushions.
TOBY-DOG
And then you're whipped.
THE LITTLE DOG, (_insulted_)
I'm--what did you say? You're losing your senses, I imagine. (_Suddenly
amiable again_.) That would be a pity. You have lovely eyes.
TOBY-DOG
Haven't I? They show well, don't they? They're large, and then they
stick out. She says I have eyes like a lobster's, and sometimes She says
"his beautiful seal's eyes, his frog-like eyes of gold."
THE LITTLE DOG
Who's She?
TOBY-DOG, (_simple_)
She.
THE LITTLE DOG
I don't understand all you say, but I find you so _very_ sympathetic!
What are you doing this evening?
TOBY-DOG
Why ... I dine.
THE LITTLE DOG
Naturally! I wanted to know whether they receive here this evening, or
do _you_ go out?
TOBY-DOG
No, I've been out already.
THE LITTLE DOG
Driving?
TOBY-DOG
Walking--of course.
THE LITTLE DOG
Why, of course? I hardly stir except in a carriage. Show me the
underside of your paws. Horrors! One would say 'twas the stone they
sharpen knives on! Look at mine. Satin on top, velvet underneath.
TOBY-DOG
I'd like to see you in the country, on the cobble-stones.
THE LITTLE DOG
I've been there, Sir. I was in the country last summer and there weren't
any cobble-stones.
TOBY-DOG
Then it wasn't the country. You don't know what country means.
THE LITTLE DOG, (_vexed_)
Indeed I do, Sir! It's fine sand, and velvety lawns that are swept every
morning; it's a reclining chair on the grass, great, fresh cushions of
cretonne, foamy milk, naps in the shade, and charming little red apples
to play with.
TOBY-DOG, (_shaking his head_)
No. It's the road covered with white powder that makes the eyelids smart
and the paws burn, the tough, shriveled, sweet-smelling grass, where I
scratch my nose and my gums; it's the fearful night--for I'm the only
one to guard them, He and She. I lie in my basket, but the beating of my
poor overdriven heart keeps me awake. I hear a dog crying to me from far
off, that the Bad Man has passed on the road. Is he coming in my
direction? Will I be obliged in another minute, my eyes bloodshot and
tongue dry as chalk, to throw myself upon him and devour his shadowy
face?...
THE LITTLE DOG, (_trembling and in ecstasy_)
Go on! Go on! Oh! how frightened I am!...
TOBY-DOG, (_modestly_) Don't be afraid--it has never happened. All
that is the country, yes, and the interminable hill, in the shadow of
the carriage, when thirst, hunger, heat and fatigue, render the soul
submissive and hopeless ...
THE LITTLE DOG, (_quite worked up_)
And then?
TOBY-DOG
Oh, nothing. One arrives at the house, after all, and the pail of dark
water, one drinks without taking breath, ("his tongue," She says, "his
big tongue is parted in the center, like an iris-petal") while sore
eyelids and dusty lashes are splashed with cooling drops.... The country
is all that and many things besides....
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_on the piano, musingly_)
All that, yes ...and the habits of the year before that one finds again,
molded to one's shape, like a cushion marked with the imprint of a long
sleep ...the long nights of freedom, when the lone owlet, with his sad
little laugh, makes his way through the air as quietly as I do on the
ground, and silvery gray rats cling to the vines, eating grapes and
keeping their eyes on me at the same time. It's the sun-cure on the hot
stone-wall, from which I arise wan and shrunken, baked through and
through, but svelte enough to make the youngest tomcat envious. (_Coming
back to the present with a murderous look at_ THE LITTLE DOG.) Death to
you, ill-smelling beast, for having evoked these by-gone joys! Aren't
you going to disappear, that I may come down from this cold pedestal,
where my paws are growing numb?
TOBY-DOG, (_enthusiastically to_ THE LITTLE DOG)
But let us forget all that! With you there, I can think of nothing but
you. I feel that I love you!
THE LITTLE DOG, (_lowering her eyes_)
Do you mean ...really?
TOBY-DOG
Of course I do!
THE LITTLE DOG
So soon!
TOBY-DOG
We've already wasted a great deal of time.
THE LITTLE DOG
But ... we've been chatting. I've enjoyed it very much ... and I fail to
understand why the society of young dogs like you, is forbidden me ...
TOBY-DOG
Allow me to make love to you.
THE LITTLE DOG
What's that?
TOBY-DOG
I'll show you. First I hold myself very erect, stiffen my legs, walk
'round you, barking low and melodiously. My tail wriggles, my ears ...
THE LITTLE DOG
Don't come near me. I feel quite upset. (_Escaping_.) Aïe! You
unmannerly fellow!
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_standing up_)
These preludes are indeed a sad parody on our wild love-making ...
(_aloud, very angry_) I should think--
THE LITTLE DOG _looks to see where the dreadful voice is coming from,
and espies a strange striped monster with eyes afire, and eyebrows and
whiskers bristling ferociously. She dashes towards the door crying_,
Help, help! There's a tiger on the piano!...
_And falls into the arms of her mistress, who has come upon the scene
and proceeds to console her with great volubility; Fifi! my Zezette! My
darling! there, there, goo, goo, goo, goo, you poor helpless little
doggie! What did they do to her? Ooooo!--Ooo! Was it the naughty
bow-bow? etc., etc., etc_.