horse and try to catch my stubby tail. Now I turn 'round and
'round--and--heavens! the whole room spins!--It's--st--opping--now.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Insufferable creature!
TOBY-DOG
Insufferable yourself! Look out, I'm going to run at you as She does,
when She's merry, crying "Ha, cat!"
(KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _without rising, puts up a paw bristling with claws
and spotted underneath with rose color and black; it looks like a thorny
flower_.)
If you dare!...
TOBY-DOG, (_in a frenzy_) I do dare! Bow-wow-wow! Ha, cat! ha, cat!
(KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _exasperated, gives a spring and hangs on the
table-cloth, slowly dragging it down. A lamp and various things fall to
the ground. Terrified silence. The two animals, crouching under an
arm-chair, await punishment_.)
HE _appears at the study door, holding a pen, like a bit, between his
teeth_.
Thunder and blitzen! What is it now? This cursed menagerie has
overturned everything! Where's your Mistress? What a place this is to be
sure! Dinner never on time!... (etc., etc., etc....)
(_The two guilty ones, who well know the harmlessness of such outbursts,
laugh quietly to themselves and lying flat as bed-room slippers, look at
one another through the fringes of the chair. The garden gate opens_.
SHE _comes in carrying a basket, full of fragrant plums; her hands are
sticky from their sugariness, her hair tumbled_. SHE _stands horrified,
before the disaster_.)
SHE
Oh! They've been fighting again, have they? (_Without conviction_.) Dear
_me,_ what nasty creatures! I'll give them away! I'll sell them!!--I'll
_kill_ them!!! (_But the cat and dog, groveling in exaggerated humility,
crawl up to her, and speak together_.)
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Purr-rr-rr!...There you are!...It's very late ...Toby attacked me; it's
he who's broken everything. I believe he went mad from hunger.... You
smell good, of grass and the twilight. You sat down on some wild thyme.
Come!...Tell your Master to carry me on his shoulder--the meat will be
overdone, I'm afraid. You'll carve the chicken very quickly, won't you,
and you'll keep the browned skin for me? If you wish I'll stretch out my
paw like a spoon, which knows how to take up the littlest morsels, and
carry them to my mouth with that human gesture that makes you laugh
so--you and He.... Come!
TOBY-DOG Hiii ... hiii ... there you are at last! I'm so unhappy when
you're away. You banished me ... you didn't love me ... The lamp fell
down all by itself ... Come! I'm awfully hungry, but I'll gladly go
without dinner, if you'll promise to take me with you always wherever
you go ... yes, even out in the twilight, though it makes me sad, I'll
willingly follow you there ... my nose close, close to the hem of your
dress....
SHE, (_disarmed and quite indifferent to the cataclysm_)
Do look how pretty they are!
SHE IS ILL
_A bed-room in the country-house; autumnal sunshine filters in through
closed blinds_. SHE _lies on a couch, apparently asleep, dressed in a
white woolen gown_. KIKI-THE-DEMURE _makes his toilet on a narrow
console-table_. TOBY-DOG, _on the carpet, in a sphinx-like attitude,
watches_ HER _and at the same time, is attentive to the words of his
master, who is leaving the room on tip-toe._
HE, (_in a very low voice to the two animals_)
Sh! Don't wake her. Be good. I'm going downstairs, to write.
(_He closes the door noiselessly after him_.) TOBY-DOG, (_to_
KIKI-THE-DEMURE)
What did He say?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
I don't know. Something vague. Directions, like: stay there, good-by.
TOBY-DOG
He said, "'Sh!" _I'm_ not making any noise.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_ironically_)
They're astonishing! They say "no noise," and thereupon walk off with a
step a deaf rat could hear two miles away.
TOBY-DOG Some truth in that. (_He looks at the sleeping figure on the
couch_.) Her face still looks very small. She's asleep. If you jump down
from that table don't land with a big thump.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_stiffly_)
Ah, you're teaching me to jump now, are you? Oh, worthy counselor!
(_quoting_) Put a beggar in your barn and he'll make himself your heir.
TOBY-DOG
What's that?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Nothing. An Oriental proverb. If I wished, dog, to disturb the silence
of this room I'd be clever enough to choose a rickety chair; its feet
would pound out a regular tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc, in time with my
tongue as I washed myself. It's a means I've invented to gain my
liberty. Tic-toc, tic-toc, says the chair. She happens to be reading or
writing, is easily irritated, and cries, "Be quiet, Kiki!" But I go on
unconscious of any wrong-doing; tic-toc, tic-toc. She jumps up
distracted and opens the door wide for me: slowly, like one exiled, I
cross its threshold and once outside, laugh to find myself so superior
to them all.
TOBY-DOG, (_who hasn't been listening, yawns_)
What a sad week, eh? I don't know what it is to take a walk any more. I
haven't taken any pleasure in eating either, since She fell from her
horse.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Heavens, one can love people and care for one's stomach too.
TOBY-DOG, (_with ardor_)
Not I! When She screamed and fell from her horse, I felt the heart
crack inside me.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
That affair couldn't have ended otherwise. One doesn't go climbing up on
a horse! People don't do such things! I see nothing but extravagance
around me. To begin with, a horse is a fearful monstrosity.
TOBY-DOG, (_indignantly_)
Did one ever hear the like!
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_peremptorily_)
I happen to have had the opportunity of making a very close study of
one....
TOBY-DOG, (_aside_)
He makes me laugh!
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
... It was the farmer's horse that grazed in the meadow. My life, for a
whole month, was embittered by that roving mountain. Lying under the
hedge, I could see his heavy feet disfiguring the ground. I breathed
his vulgar odor and heard his strident cry shaking the air. Once when he
was eating the lower twigs of the hedge, I saw myself--the whole of
me--reflected in one of his eyes! I fled ... and from that day my hatred
was so strong that I wildly hoped to annihilate the monster. I'll go up
to him, thought I, I'll plant myself firmly in front of him, and the
desire of his death will be so strong in my eyes, that perhaps, he'll
die when he meets my look ...
TOBY-DOG, (_diverted_)
And then?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_continuing_)
I carried out my plan. But the horse I had waited for in fear and
trembling, just blew through his nostrils a long jet of foul-smelling
vapor, and _I_ fell back in atrocious convulsions.
TOBY-DOG, (_Inwardly writhing with laughter_)
You don't exaggerate?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_serious_)
Never! And She must needs go climbing on a horse's back, holding fast to
four cords, one leg this side and the other that. ... Strange
aberration!
TOBY-DOG
We don't think alike, Cat. For me, the horse is, after man, the most
beautiful thing in the world.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_vexed_) And where do I come in?
TOBY-DOG, (_evasive and courteous_)
Oh, you're a _Cat_. But a horse, and with Her on his back! What a
beautiful picture they make, high up in the blue air! To gaze on it, I
have to throw my head 'way back on my thick neck. The horse lends her
his speed. Now at last, She can race with me when I go off on a mad run.
Sometimes I'm ahead, ears floating back and tongue hanging out like a
little flag--the angular shadow of the horse on the road in front. If I
follow her, a fragrant dust blows back at me. It smells of warm leather,
moist beast, and a little of her own perfume too. The road runs under
me, like a ribbon that someone is pulling. Oh, what joy it is to be so
little and so swift, running along in the shadow of a great galloping
horse! When we halt, I pant like a motor, between the legs of my friend,
who snorts and in the kindliest way puts down his fettered mouth and
sprinkles me ...
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
I know, I know! The horse "with long mane ashake; hoofs, heavy with
tumult; eyes, glimmering white." ...You are the last of the
Romanticists.
TOBY-DOG
I'm not the last of the Romanticists. I'm a little bull-dog that came
into the world one evening, almost under the feet of a chestnut mare.
She didn't lie down all night long, she was so afraid of crushing my
mother and her puppies. A little bull-dog like me is almost the child of
a horse. I lay in the warm straw against her warm flanks, I drank out of
the stable pails. I used to get up when I heard the sound of hoofs
coming in and I took an interest in the washing of the carriages, until
the day She came and picked me out--_me_, the best-looking, the most
snub-nosed, the stockiest of the litter. (_Sighing_.) And there She
lies, so dreadfully quiet! It makes me sad to see her with that little
cloth still 'round her ankle. You remember when He picked her up in his
arms? He held her--and She's a lot bigger than I am--just as if She were
a little dog that he was going to drown....
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_bitterly_)
I remember. I was at the top of the stairs irritated by the noise, but
curious. He came up and pushed me aside with his foot, as he would have
done if a piece of furniture had happened to be in his way.
TOBY-DOG
Is that why you stayed away from this room--her room--for three whole
days?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_hesitating_)
Yes ... and for another reason too.
TOBY-DOG
What reason?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Because of the fever.
TOBY-DOG, (_carried away by his love_)
Her fever smells better than other peoples' good health!
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shrugging his shoulders_)
And they talk of a dog's scent! Truly the convictions of Two-Paws are
based upon childish fables. You know of course that fever--
TOBY-DOG, (_in a low tone_)
Makes one afraid, yes.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_in a low tone_)
Makes one afraid, gives one cold shivers down one's back, distaste for
everything and uneasiness all over. One hesitates on the threshold of a
room where there is fever, searching fearfully some hidden thing.... She
was in bed and burning hot. I looked at her a long time, ready to run,
saying to myself: "Who can be with her there--behind the curtains--who
is it stifles and torments her and makes her moan in her sleep?"
TOBY-DOG, (_frightened retrospectively_)
There wasn't anyone, was there?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
No one but He--and the fever. He, the most intelligent of Two-Paws, was
leaning over her listening to her breathing, dimly aware of an invisible
presence. I overcame my aversion and looked at her. I was melancholy and
jealous. He must love her, thought I, to go so near and defend her, to
kiss her, imbued as She is with the evil charm. Would He hold me to his
heart, if I--
TOBY-DOG, (_imperatively_)
'Sh!
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
What?
TOBY-DOG
She stirred.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
No.
TOBY-DOG, (_alert, looking at her_)
No ... She didn't stir, but her thoughts did. I felt them. Continue.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_who has recovered his equanimity_)
I don't know now what we were talking about.
TOBY-DOG
The fev--
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_quickly_)
Enough. Don't recall it. Fever is the beginning of the thing one never
speaks of.
TOBY-DOG, (_shivering_)
Yes, I know.... I don't like an animal that can't move. You know what I
mean ...
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_laughing cruelly_)
Nor do I. I can only eat live birds, and as for the tiny mice, I prefer
to swallow them, squeak and all....
TOBY-DOG
Why does it amuse you to horrify me? You've a certain vanity that I
can't understand. It consists in exaggerating cruelties that are already
real enough. You call me the last of the Romanticists, aren't you the
first of the Sadics?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Oh dog, poisoned with literature! An eternal misunderstanding separates
us. "I'm a little bull-dog," you replied just now, with that stupid
sincerity which disarms me. Let me say to you in my turn, "I am a Cat."
The name is sufficient dispensation. There is in me a hatred of pain and
ugliness, an overmastering detestation of all that offends my sight, or
my reason. When the concierge's cat dragged around his wounded paw, I
threw myself upon him, fired by a righteous anger, and until he stopped
his whining I--
TOBY-DOG, (_supplicatingly_)
Don't tell me!
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_getting angry_) Understand then, once and for
all--if the pale recital of what I did upsets you--that I wished to
abolish, to annihilate in that bleeding animal the suggestion of my own
inevitable death ...
(_They are quiet for a little while_.)
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shuddering_)
This confinement does us no good. I would gladly go out into the soft
sunshine and do "the bayadeer's dance," as He calls it, on the dry
gravel among the leaves, which look like fried potatoes. Everything is
yellow out-of-doors. My green eyes would reflect the golden sun and the
flaming woods and so turn yellow too.... Now I'll think only of what is
joyous and yellow, the beautiful, cold Autumn, the rosy dawn that leaves
its colors in the foliage of the cherry-tree ... Come, let's prove the
strength of our legs and enjoy to the full the consciousness that youth
has only just begun for us ... Who knows, death may never come ...
(_He jumps down from the console-table, without making the least
noise_.)
TOBY-DOG, (_stopping him_)
What are you going to do?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Scratch at the door, and strike up the "Hymn of the Sequestered Cat."
TOBY-DOG, (_indicating the figure on the couch_)
And doubtless waken Her?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_stubbornly_)
I'll sing in a very small voice.
TOBY-DOG
And you'll scratch with your tiniest claws, I suppose? Stay here
quietly, He commanded it when He went away.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_loftily_)
Does He command me? He beseeches me, and that's my only reason for
obeying him.
(_He sits down again, apparently resigned, and yawns slowly_.)
TOBY-DOG, (_yawning_)
You make me yawn.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
On the contrary, it's you who bore me. (_Temptingly_.) You're thinking
what a good thing freedom is, aren't you?... A hen has probably escaped
from the chicken yard--what sport you're missing!
TOBY-DOG
You really think so?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
I said: probably.... Have you finished exploring that rabbit's hole?
TOBY-DOG, (_disturbed_)
No ... it's so very deep! I almost buried myself, hollowing it out
yesterday. The earth that stuck to my muzzle had some of the animal's
fur in it....
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_more and more satanic_)
I suppose you'll finish that to-morrow ... or some other day. TOBY-DOG,
(_sadly_)
Why not say next year, while you're about it?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
What's the matter with you? Your shiny black lip hangs down an ell, and
your froggy eyes glitter with tears. Are you crying?
TOBY-DOG, (_sniffling_)
No ...
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Poor, sensitive heart, console yourself. You'll have your pleasures and
your friends again. At this very moment the farmer's dog is crunching
bones in the kitchen ... to beguile the long wait for you.
TOBY-DOG, (_overcome_)
Oh! oh! the farmer's dog!
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
She's not alone either; that great dane, the watch-dog, keeps her
company.
TOBY-DOG, (_rebellious_)
That's not true!
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Go see.
TOBY-DOG, (_after one bound toward the door_) No, that would make
noise.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
You're right, it would.
(_A mournful silence follows_. TOBY _curls himself up like a turban and
closes his eyes, because he feels like crying. His breath comes in
little sobs_.)
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_absently, in a low, monotonous chant_.)
The dog ... the little dog ... the bones, the little dog ... the rabbit
... the great dane, the rabbit's hole ...the little dog, the mutton
bones ...the rabbit's skin ...
TOBY-DOG, _at first endures the torture heroically; then his nerves
betray him and lifting his head he howls--the long plaint of the
abandoned dog_.
Wooo--oo--oooooo!
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_from the top of the console-table_)
Will you be quiet!
TOBY-DOG
Wooooooooo!!--oo--oooo--oo!
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_aside_)
That's it! That's it!
(SHE _wakes bewildered, still captive of her dreams, while the Cat
listens patiently to the approaching step on the stairs, which means
liberty for him and punishment for_ TOBY-DOG.)
THE FIRST FIRE
_Because it is raining and an October wind chases wet leaves through the
air, She has lit the first fire of the season in the great
chimney-place_. KIKI-THE-DEMURE _and_ TOBY-DOG, _in ecstasy, side by
side on a corner of the warm hearth-stone, contemplate the flame with
dazzled eyes and address their meditations to it_.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_looking very like a cushion; no paws visible_)
Oh Fire, how splendid you are! You have come back more beautiful than my
memory of you! You are hotter and nearer than the sun! The pupils of my
eyes contract in your light, their lids half close, modestly hiding the
joy I feel at seeing you again, and my inscrutable countenance shows but
the semblance of a thought painted there in fawn color and black....
Your crackling drowns the soft sound of my purr. Don't snap too much. Be
merciful, O inconstant Fire! Don't sputter sparks on my fur. Allow me to
adore you without fear ...
TOBY-DOG, (_half baked; eyes blood-shot; tongue pendant_)
Fire! Divine Fire! Here you are again! I am still very young, but I
remember how awe-struck I was the first time Her hand woke you in this
same chimney-place. The sight of a god as mysterious as you are was most
impressive to a baby-dog just out of the maternal stable. Oh Fire, I've
not quite gotten over my fear! Hiii!... You spit at me, something red
that smarts ... I'm afraid ... Well, it's gone now. How beautiful you
are, Fire! Out from your ruddy center shoot tatters and shreds of gold,
sudden spurts of blue, and smoke that twists upwards and draws queer
shapes of beasts ... Oh, but I'm hot! Gently, gently, sovereign Fire,
see how my truffle of a nose is drying up and cracking, and my ears--are
they not ablaze? I adjure thee with suppliant paw. I groan ... ah ... I
can endure it no longer!... (_He turns away_.) Nothing is ever perfect.
The east wind coming under the door nips my hind-legs. Well, it can't be
helped! I'll freeze behind if I must, provided I can adore you face to
face.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
I am a Cat and therefore aware of all that you bring in your train, O
Fire! I foresee winter; its coming both troubles and pleases me. I've
already begun to thicken and embellish my fur-coat in its honor, the
darker stripes are becoming black, my white tippet swells into a
dazzling boa, and the fur on my belly surpasses in beauty anything that
has ever been seen. What shall I say of my tail, broad as a club, with
alternate rings of fawn-color and black, or of the sensitive, priceless
aigrettes which spring from my ears? My ear-rings She calls them....
What cat could resist me! Ah! the January nights, the serenades under a
frosty moon, the dignified wait on the pinnacle of a roof, the encounter
with a rival cat on the narrow top of a wall!... But I feel quite sure
of my superior strength. I'll swish my tail, put back my ears, sniff
tragically as one does before vomiting, and then lift up my voice--its
modulations are infinite. I'll make it strong enough to waken all the
sleeping Two-Paws. I'll vociferate, I'll whimper, pacing up and down the
garden, my body distended, my legs bent outward, feigning madness to
terrify the tom-cats!
TOBY-DOG
I know something of the changes and pleasures you foretell, Fire--for
I'm a Dog. Already, it is raining in the garden. I suppose it's raining
on the road too, and in the woods. The falling drops are not warm, as
they were in the summer storms when my truffle, gray with dust,
delighted in the damp smell that came from the west. The sky is troubled
and the wind has grown strong enough to blow my ears out straight, like
little flags. A sharp cry, such as I make when I beg, comes under the
door. You'll be shining here every day, Fire; but I'll have to suffer
for the right to worship you. For She'll continue to wander about, her
head covered with the pointed hood which changes her so, that it
frightens me. She'll put on wooden shoes too, and carelessly crush the
puddles, the little heaps of mud, and the weeping mosses. I'll follow
her, since I've promised to do so my life long (and also because I
can't help it), I'll follow her, a forlorn and piteous object, shining
wet, my belly covered with mud, until, through very excess of misery
I'll forget, and ramble in the coppice, interested in every undulation
of the grass, eager to revive the drowned scents in it.... She'll become
communicative when she sees me hurrying along and we'll talk: "Ha,
Toby-Dog," she'll say, "ha! ha! a bird! There on the branch! Look! you
booby! Now he's gone." She'll condole with me then, until I'm on the
verge of tears. "Oh, my little black boy, my sympathetic cylinder, my
batrachian love, how cold you are, how wet, how sad, how you suffer,
oooo!" And before I'm able to judge of the sincerity of her pity, the
tears will overflow, my throat contract, and we'll wail in unison....
Ah, but what delirious joy when the capricious wooden shoes turn again
toward the house, hurrying to rejoin Him whom we've left scratching
paper! They don't go half fast enough for me then! I jump 'round her,
barking with delight to see the hill diminishing, our climb at an end,
to smell the good stable smell and that of burning wood as we near the
house. At last you shine forth, O Fire, O Sun, through the misty window
pane!... I shall hardly have crossed the threshold when an overpowering
sleepiness will dash me to the floor in front of you--you, who will
reduce the mud on my belly to fine powder and change the water of the
roads to smoky vapor.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE A delightful glow penetrates my coat to the silky
down, the impalpable colorless threads which protect my delicate skin. I
feel myself swelling like a cloud. I must quite fill the room. My
whiskers seem charged with electricity--a sign that I will sleep--but
for the time being, the contemplation of your splendor and thoughts of
the coming season keep me awake. It's raining. I shall not go out. I'll
wait for the sun, or the dry wind, or better still, the frost. Ah, how
the biting cold stimulates me! It lashes my lungs with handfuls of
needles, and makes a _bonbon glacé_ of my charming nose. The rollicking
frost-sprite will blow his madness into me. She'll laugh and He too,
leaving his scratching-paper, to see me vie with the leaves in bounds,
leaps and wild whirlings, resembling a floating flurry of gray smoke
rather than a Cat. To the top of a tree! Down again! Then seven turns
after my tail! A perilous backward leap! A vertical jump, with aerial
_danse du ventre_! Girations, sneezes, careering from the real to the
dream, until in terror of myself, I come to a sudden stop.... Everything
turns before my eyes. I'm the center of a strange, spinning world ... In
my bewilderment (half-feigned) I'll make a little moo, like a cow, which
will bring them both running to me,--She laughing, and He fearing
something wrong. That will suffice to sober me, and with a bold front
and noble mien, I'll regain this cushion near your altar, O Fire!
TOBY-DOG