"ONE time," said Uncle Remus--adjusting his spectacles so as to
be able to see how to thread a large darning-needle with which he
was patching his coat--"one time, way back yander, 'fo' you wuz
bomed, honey, en 'fo' Mars John er Miss Sally wuz bomed--way back
yander 'fo' enny un us wuz bomed, de animils en de creeturs
sorter 'lecshuneer roun' 'mong deyselves, twel at las' dey 'greed
fer ter have a 'sembly. In dem days," continued the old man,
observing a look of incredulity on the little boy's face, "in dem
days creeturs had lots mo' sense dan dey got now; let 'lone dat,
dey had sense same like folks. Hit was tech en go wid um, too,
mon, en w'en dey make up der mines w'at hatter be done, 'twant
mo'n menshun'd 'fo, hit wuz done. Well, dey 'lected dat dey
hatter hol' er 'sembly fer ter sorter straighten out marters en
hear de complaints, en w'en de day come dey wuz on han'. De Lion,
he wuz dar, kase he wuz de king, en he hatter be der. De
Rhynossyhoss, he wuz dar, en de Elephant, he wuz dar, en de
Cammils, en de Cows, en plum' down ter de Crawfishes, dey wuz
dar. Dey wuz all dar. En w'en de Lion shuck his mane, en tuck his
seat in de big cheer, den de sesshun begun fer ter commence.
"What did they do, Uncle Remus?" asked the little boy.
"I can't skacely call to mine 'zackly w'at dey did do, but dey
spoke speeches, en hollered, en cusst, en flung der langwidge
'roun' des like w'en yo' daddy wuz gwineter run fer de legislater
en got lef'. Howsomever, dey 'ranged der 'fairs, en splained der
bizness. Bimeby, w'ile dey wuz 'sputin' 'longer one er nudder, de
Elephant trompled on one er de Crawfishes. Co'se w'en dat creetur
put his foot down, w'atsumever's under dar wuz boun' fer ter be
squshed, en dey wa'n't nuff er dat Crawfish lef' fer ter tell dat
he'd bin dar.
"Dis make de udder Crawfishes mighty mad, en dey sorter swarmed
tergedder en draw'd up a kinder peramble wid some wharfo'es in
it, en read her out in de 'sembly. But, bless grashus! sech a
racket wuz a gwine on dat nobody ain't hear it, 'ceppin' maybe de
Mud Turkle en de Spring Lizzud, en dere enfloons wuz pow'ful
lackin'.
"Bimeby, w'iles de Nunicorn wuz 'sputin' wid de Lion, en w'ile de
Hyener wuz a laughin' ter hisse'f, de Elephant squshed anudder
one er de Crawfishes, en a little mo'n he'd er ruint de Mud
Turkle. Den de Crawfishes, w'at dey wuz lef' un um, swarmed
tergedder en draw'd up anudder peramble wid sum mo' wharfo'es;
but dey might ez well er sung Ole Dan Tucker ter a harrycane. De
udder creeturs wuz too busy wid der fussin' fer ter 'spon' unto
de Crawfishes. So dar dey wuz, de Crawfishes, en dey didn't know
w'at minnit wuz gwineter be de nex'; en dey kep' on gittin madder
en madder en skeerder en skeerder, twel bimeby dey gun de wink
ter de Mud Turkle en de Spring Lizzud, en den dey bo'd little
holes in de groun' en went down outer sight."
"Who did, Uncle Remus?" asked the little boy.
"De Crawfishes, honey. Dey bo'd inter de groun' en kep' on bo'in
twel dey onloost de fountains er de yeth; en de waters squirt
out, en riz higher en higher twel de hills wuz kivvered, en de
creeturs wuz all drownded; en all bekaze dey let on 'mong
deyselves dat dey wuz bigger dan de Crawfishes."
Then the old man blew the ashes from a smoking yam, and
proceeded to remove the peeling.
"Where was the ark, Uncle Remus?" the little boy inquired,
presently.
"W'ich ark's dat?" asked the old man, in a tone of well-feigned
curiosity.
"Noah's ark," replied the child.
"Don't you pester wid ole man Noah, honey. I boun' he tuck keer
er dat ark. Dat's w'at he wuz dar fer, en dat's w'at he done.
Leas'ways, dat's w'at dey tells me. But don't you bodder longer
dat ark, 'ceppin' your mammy fetches it up. Dey mout er bin two
deloojes, en den agin dey moutent. Ef dey wuz enny ark in dish
yer w'at de Crawfishes brung on, I ain't heern tell un it, en
w'en dey ain't no arks 'roun', I ain't got no time fer ter make
um en put um in dar. Hit's gittin' yo' bedtime, honey."