_The_ COOKS, _who have prepared the banquet, dance together,
and make the third interlude; after which they bring in a table
covered with various dishes_.
ACT IV.
SCENE I.--DORIMENE, MR. JOURDAIN, DORANTE, THREE SINGERS, A SERVANT.
DORI. Really, Dorante, this is a magnificent dinner.
MR. JOUR. You are pleased to say So, Madam, but I only wish it were
more worthy of your acceptance.
(DORIMENE, MR. JOURDAIN, DORANTE, _and the_ THREE SINGERS _sit
down_.)
DOR. Mr. Jourdain is right, Madam, in what he says; and he obliges me
by doing so well the honours of his house to you. I agree with him
that the dinner is not worthy of you. As it was I who ordered it, and
as I have not for this kind of thing the knowledge of some of our
friends, you will not find here a well studied repast, but will meet
with many incongruities of good eating and some barbarisms against
good taste. If our good friend Damis had ordered it, all would be
according to rule; there would be elegance and erudition everywhere;
and he would not fail to exaggerate to you the excellence of every
dish, and to make you acknowledge his high capacity in the science of
good eating. He would speak to you of a loaf with golden sides, crusty
all over, and yielding tenderly under the teeth; of wine full-bodied
and of not too perceptible an acidity; of a saddle of mutton stewed
with parsley; of a loin of Normandy veal, long, white, tender, and
which is, as it were, an almond paste between the teeth; of partridges
wonderful in flavour; and as his masterpiece, a pearl broth reinforced
with a large turkey flanked with young pigeons, and crowned with white
onions blended with endive. For my part I confess my ignorance; and as
Mr. Jourdain has very well said, I wish the repast were more worthy of
your acceptance.
DORI. Well, I can only answer to this compliment by eating as I am
doing.
MR. JOUR. Ah! what beautiful hands!
DORI. The hands have not much to boast of, Mr. Jourdain; it is the
diamond which you wish to speak of; it is indeed very beautiful.
MR. JOUR. I, Madam? Heaven forbid that I should speak of it. It would
be ungentlemanly to do so, and the diamond is but a trifle.
DOR. You are difficult to please.
MR. JOUR. You are too kind, and....
DOR. (_after having made signs to_ MR. JOURDAIN). Come, come,
give a little wine to Mr. Jourdain and to these gentlemen, who will do
us the pleasure of singing us a drinking song.
DORI. It is a most charming thought to make good music accompany good
food, and I find myself most kindly entertained here.
MR. JOUR. Madam, it is not....
DOR. Mr. Jourdain, let us listen to the music; what these gentlemen
will tell us is better than all you and I could say.
1ST _and_ 2ND SINGERS _together, each with a glass in his
hand_.
Phyllis, deign to fill my glass;
Give the draught an added charm.
Which is fairer, wine or lass,
Love for both my heart doth arm?--
In this hour supernal,
Let us swear, while we can,
For wine, woman, and man,
A friendship eternal.
Ruby-red, the blushing wine,
Paints thy lips with brighter shade,
While its colours softer shine
Where thy glances fall, fair maid!--
While our youth is vernal,
Let us swear, while we can,
For wine, woman, and man,
A friendship eternal.
_Drinking Song_.
Fill your glass, fill your glass, my friends,
Let us drink, though time fly;
We must live while we live, my friends,
For time passes by.
When we cross the waves of the river,
Wine and love say farewell
We must leave them behind for ever,
So value them well.
What though fools spend their time in thinking
Of the true aim of life!
Our philosophy lies in drinking,
Not in wordy strife.
And glory, wisdom, and wealth,
Do not ease life of ill,
But we find our pleasure and health
As the wine-cup we fill.
DORI. I never heard anything better sung, and all this is really
beautiful.
MR. JOUR. I see something still more beautiful here, Madam.
DORI. Why, Mr. Jourdain, you are a greater flatterer than I should
have thought.
DOR. And for what, Madam, do you take Mr. Jourdain?
MR. JOUR. I wish she would take me for what I could name.
DORI. Again!
DOR. (_to_ DORIMENE). You do not know him.
MR. JOUR. But she will know me whenever it pleases her.
DORI. Oh, I give up.
DOR. He is a man always ready with an answer. But do you not see,
Madam, that Mr. Jourdain eats all the pieces you have touched.
DORI. Mr. Jourdain is a man I am charmed with.
MR. JOUR. If I could only charm your heart, I should be....
SCENE II.--MRS. JOURDAIN, MR. JOURDAIN, DORIMENE, DORANTE, SINGERS,
SERVANTS.
MRS. JOUR. Ah! ah! I find charming company here, and I see clearly
that I was not expected. It is for this fine piece of business, Sir,
that you showed such anxiety to pack me off to my sister; was it? I
have just seen a theatre down below, and here I find a banquet worthy
of a wedding. That is the way you spend your money, and thus it is
that you feast ladies in my absence, and give them music and the
comedy, whilst you send me, trotting.
DOR. What do you mean, Mrs. Jourdain, and what fancies are you taking
into your head to go and imagine that your husband is spending his
money and giving the dinner to this lady? I beg to tell you that he
has only lent me his house, and that it is I who give this feast, and
not he. You should be a little more cautious in what you say.
MR. JOUR. Yes, rude woman that you are, it is the count who gives all
that to this lady, who is a lady of rank. He does me the honour of
making use of my house, and of wishing me to be with him.
MRS. JOUR. All this is rubbish; I know what I know.
DOR. Put on better spectacles, Mrs. Jourdain.
MRS. JOUR. I have no need of spectacles, Sir, and I see clearly enough
what is going on. It is some time since I have seen things as they
are, and I am no fool. It is very wrong of you, a great lord, to
encourage my husband in his delusion. And for you, Madam, a great
lady, it is neither handsome nor honest to sow dissension in a family,
and to allow my husband to be in love with you.
DORI. What does all this mean? How very wrong of you, Dorante, to
expose me to the preposterous fancies of this foolish woman.
DOR. (_following_ DORIMENE, _who is going away_). Madam,
stop, I pray; where are you going?
MR. JOUR. Madam.... My Lord the Count, present my humblest apologies
to her and try to bring her back.
SCENE III.--MRS. JOURDAIN, MR. JOURDAIN, A SERVANT.
MR. JOUR. Ah! insolent woman that you are; these are your fine doings.
You come and abuse me before everybody, and send away from my house
persons of quality.
MRS. JOUR. I don't care a pin for their quality.
MR. JOUR. I don't know, accursed woman that you are, what prevents me
from beating your skull in with what remains of the feast you have
come and disturbed.
MRS. JOUR. (_going away_). I despise your threats. I come here to
defend my own rights, and all wives will be on my side.
MR. JOUR. You do wisely to avoid my anger, I can tell you.
SCENE IV.--MR. JOURDAIN (_alone_).
She came in at a most unlucky moment. I was in a mood to tell her very
pretty things, and I never felt so full of wit. But what does this
mean?
SCENE V.--MR. JOURDAIN, COVIELLE (_disguised_).
COV. Sir, I am not sure if I have the honour of being known to you.
MR. JOUR. No, Sir.
COV. (_putting his hand about a foot from the ground_). I saw you
when you were not taller than that.
MR. JOUR. Me?
COV. Yes! You were the most beautiful child in the world, and all the
ladies used to lift you up in their arms to kiss you.
MR. JOUR. To kiss me?
COV. Yes. I was a great friend of the late nobleman your father.
MR. JOUR. Of the late nobleman my father?
COV. Yes, he was a most kind gentleman.
MR. JOUR. What do you say?
COV. I say that he was a most kind gentleman.
MR. JOUR. My father?
COV. Your father.
MR. JOUR. You knew him well?
COV. Very well indeed.
MR. JOUR. And you know him to have been a nobleman?
COV. Undoubtedly.
MR. JOUR. Well, I don't understand what the world means.
COV. What do you say?
MR. JOUR. There are some stupid people who try to persuade me that he
was a shopkeeper.
COV. He a shopkeeper! It is sheer calumny. All he did was this: he was
extremely kind and obliging, and understood different kinds of stuff
very well; therefore he used to go everywhere and choose some; then,
he had them brought to his house, and was in the habit of letting his
friends have some for money if they chose.
MR. JOUR. I am delighted to have made your acquaintance, so that you
may testify that my father was a nobleman.
COV. I will maintain it before the whole world.
MR. JOUR. You will oblige me greatly; may I know what business brings
you here?
COV. Since my acquaintance with your late father--a perfect gentleman,
as I was telling you--I have travelled to the end of the world.
MR. JOUR. To the end of the world?
COV. Yes.
MR. JOUR. I suppose it is a very far-off country.
COV. Very far off. I only returned four days ago, and owing to the
interest I take in all that concerns you, I have come to give you the
best news possible.
MR. JOUR. What can it be?
COV. You know that the son of the Grand Turk is here. [Footnote: There
seems to have been a Turkish envoy in Paris at that time.]
MR. JOUR. No, I didn't know.
COV. You didn't know! He has a most magnificent retinue of attendants.
Everybody goes to see him, and he has been received in this country as
a personage of the greatest importance.
MR. JOUR. Indeed? I have heard nothing of it.
COV. What is of great concern to you is that he is in love with your
daughter.
MR. JOUR. The son of the Grand Turk?
COV. Yes, and that he wishes to, become your son-in-law.
MR. JOUR. My son-in-law, the son of the Grand Turk!
COV. The son of the Grand Turk your son-in-law When I went to see him,
as I understand his language perfectly, we had a long chat together;
and after having talked of different things, he told me, _Acciam
croc soler onch alla moustaph gidelum amanahem varahini oussere
carbulath_? that is to say, "Have you not seen a beautiful young
girl who is the daughter of Mr. Jourdain, a nobleman of Paris?"
MR. JOUR. The son of the Grand Turk said that of me?
COV. Yes. Then I answered him that I knew you perfectly well, and that
I had seen your daughter. Ah! said he, _marababa sahem_! which is
to say, "Ah! how much I love her!"
MR. JOUR. _Marababa sahem_! means, "Ah! how I love her!"
COV. Yes.
MR. JOUR. Indeed, you do right to tell me; for I should never have
known that _Marababa sahem_! meant, "Ah I how much I love her!"
This Turkish language is admirable.
COV. More admirable than you would ever imagine. For instance, do you
know what _Cacaracamouchen_ means?
MR. JOUR. _Cacaracamouchen_? No.
COV. It means, "My dear love."
MR. JOUR. _Cacaracamouchen_ means, "My dear love"?
COV. Yes.
MR. JOUR. It is wonderful! _Cacaracamouchen_, "My dear love." Who
would ever have thought it? I am perfectly astounded.
COV. In short, in order to end my embassy, I must tell you that he is
coming to ask your daughter in marriage; and in order to have a
father-in-law worthy of him, he wants to make you a _mamamouchi_,
which is a great dignity in his country.
MR. JOUR. _Mamamouchi_?
COV. _Mamamouchi_; that is to say in our own language, a paladin.
Paladin, you know those ancient paladins; in short, there is nothing
more noble than that in the whole world, and you will take rank with
the greatest lords upon the earth.
MR. JOUR. The son of the Grand Turk honours me greatly, and I beg of
you to take me to his house, that I may return him my thanks.
COV. Not at all; he is just coming here.
MR. JOUR. He is coming here?
COV. Yes, and he is bringing with him everything necessary for the
ceremony.
MR. JOUR. It is doing things rather quickly.
COV. Yes, his love will suffer no delay.
MR. JOUR. All that perplexes me in this affair is that my daughter is
a very obstinate girl, who has taken it into her head to have a
certain Cleonte for her husband, and vows she will marry no other.
COV. She is sure to change her mind when she sees the son of the Grand
Turk; besides, wonderful to relate, the son of the Grand Turk has a
strong likeness to that very Cleonte. People showed him to me, and I
have just seen him; the love she feels for the one is sure to pass to
the other, and ... I hear him coming! Lo, here he is.
SCENE VI.--CLEONTE (_dressed as a Turk_), THREE PAGES
(_carrying the vest of_ CLEONTE), MR. JOURDAIN, COVIELLE.
CLE. _Ambousahim oqui boraf, Giourdina, salamatequi_.
COV. (_to_ MR. JOURDAIN). That is to say, "Mr. Jourdain, may your
heart be all the year round a budding rose tree." It is a way of
speaking they have in that country.
MR. JOUR. I am your Turkish highness's humble servant.
COV. _Carigar camboto oustin moraf_.
CLE. _Oustin yoc catamalequi basum base alla moran_.
COV. He says, "May heaven grant you the strength of the lion and the
prudence of the serpent."
MR. JOUR. His Turkish highness does me too much honour, and I wish him
all manner of prosperity.
COV. _Ossa binamen sadoc baballi oracaf ouram_.
CLE. _Belmen_.
COV. He says you must go quickly with him to prepare for the ceremony,
in order afterwards to see your daughter and conclude the marriage.
MR. JOUR. So many things comprised in two words?
COV. Yes, The Turkish language is like that, it says a good deal in a
few words. Go quickly where he wishes you.
SCENE VII.--COVIELLE (_alone_).
Ah! ah! ah! Upon my soul, this is most absurd. What a dupe! Had he
learnt his part by heart, he would not have played it better. Ah! ah!
ah!
SCENE VIII.--DORANTE, COVIELLE.
COV. I beg of you, Sir, to help us here in a little affair we have in
hand.
DOR. Hallo! Covielle, who would have known you again? What a get up!
COV. As you see. Ah! ah! ah!
DOR. What are you laughing at?
COV. At a thing worth laughing at, I can tell you.
DOR. What is it?
COV. You would never guess the stratagem we have invented to induce
Mr. Jourdain to give my master his daughter in marriage.
DOR. I certainly can't guess what it is, but I can guess that it will
succeed since you are at the head of affairs.
COV. I know, Sir, that the animal is appreciated by you.
DOR. Tell me what you are about.
COV. Kindly go a little on one side to make room for what I see
coming. You will be able to have a view of a part of the business
whilst I explain the rest to you.
SCENE IX.--THE TURKISH CEREMONY. [Footnote: Lulli composed the music,
and acted the part of the Mufti.]
THE MUFTI, DERVISHES, TURKS (_assisting the_ MUFTI), SINGERS and
DANCERS.
SIX TURKS _enter gravely, two and two at the sound of instruments.
They carry three carpets which they lift very high as they dance
several dances The_ TURKS _pass under the carpets, singing and
range themselves on each side of the stage. The_ MUFTI, _accompanied
by_ DERVISHES, _closes the march. The_ TURKS _then spread the
carpets on the ground, and kneel down upon them. The_ MUFTI
_and the_ DERVISHES _stand up in the middle of them; and while
the_ MUFTI _invokes Mahomet in dumb contortions and grimaces
the_ TURKS _prostrate themselves to the ground, singing_ Alli, _raising
their hands to heaven, singing_ Alla, _and continue so alternately to
the end of the invocation; after which they all rise up, singing_, Alla
eckber, _and two_ DERVISHES _go and fetch_ MR. JOURDAIN.
SCENE X.--THE MUFTI, DERVISH, TURKISH SINGERS _and_ DANCERS. MR.
JOURDAIN, _dressed like a Turk, his head shaved, without any turban
or sword_.
THE MUFTI (_to_ MR. JOURDAIN).
[1] Se ti sabir,
Ti respondir;
Se non sabir,
Tazir, tazir.
Mi star muphti,
Ti qui star si?
Non intendir;
Tazir, tazir. [2]
[1]
_Lingua franca,_ jargon composed of Italian, Spanish, &c., and
spoken in the Levant.
[2]
If you understand,
Answer;
If you do not understand,
Hold thy peace, hold thy peace.
I am the Mufti
(TWO DERVISHES _retire with_ MR. JOURDAIN.)
SCENE XI.--THE MUFTI, DERVISHES, TURKS, _singing and dancing_.
MUF. Dice, Turque, qui star quista? Anabatista? anabatista? [Say,
Turk, who is this? Is he Anabaptist? Anabaptist?]
TUR. Ioc. [No.]
MUF. Zuinglista? [A Zwinglian?]
TUR. Ioc. [No.]
MUF. Coffita? [A Capht?]
TUR. Ioc. [No.]
MUF. Hussita? Morista? Fronista? [A Hussite? a Moor? a Phronist?]
TUR. Ioc, ioc; ioc. [No, no, no.]
MUF. Ioc, ioc, ioc. Star pagana? [No, no, no. Is he a pagan?]
TUR. Ioc. [No.]
MUF. Luterana? [A Lutheran?]
TUR. Ioc. [No.]
MUF. Puritana? [A Puritan?]
TUR. Ioc. [No.]
MUF. Bramina? Moffina? Zurina? [A Brahmin? a Moffian? a Zurian?]
TUR. Ioc, ioc, ioc. [No, no, no.]
MUF. Ioc, ioc, ioc. Mahametana? Mahametana? [No, no, no. A Mahometan?
a Mahometan?]
TUR. Hi Valla. Hi Valla. [There you have it. There you have it.]
MUF. Como chamara? Como chamara? [How is he called? How is he called?]
TUR. Giourdina, Giourdina. [Jourdain, Jourdain.]
MUF. (_jumping_). Giourdina, Giourdina. [Jourdain, Jourdain.]
TUR. Giourdina, Giourdina. [Jourdain, Jourdain.]
THE MUFTI. [1]
Mahameta, per Giourdina,
Mi pregar sera e matina.
Voler far un paladina
De Giourdina, de Giourdina;
Dar turbanta, e dar scarrina,
Con galera, e brigantina,
Per deffender Palestina.
Mahameta, per Giourdina,
Mi pregar sera e matina.
(_To the_ TURKS.)
Star bon Turca Giourdina?
[1]
To Mahomet for Jourdain,
I pray night and day.
I wish to make a paladin
Of Jourdain, of Jourdain.
Give him a turban, and give him a sword,
With a galley and a brigantine,
To defend Palestine.
To Mahomet for Jourdain
I pray night and day.
(_To the_ TURKS.).
Is Jourdain a good Turk?
TUR. Hi Valla. Hi Valla. [Yes, by Allah!]
MUF. (_singing and dancing_). Ha la ba, ba la chou, ba la ba, ba
la da.
TUR. Ha la ba, ba la chou, ba la ba ba la da. [2]
[2]
Thus separated, these words have no sense; but by joining and
correcting them, we have: _Allah baba, hou, Allah hou_, which
are really Turkish, and which signify, "_God my Father; God my
Father_." (_Auger_.)
SCENE XI.--TURKS, _singing and dancing_. _Second entry of
the_ BALLET.
SCENE XIII.--THE MUFTI, DERVISHES, MR. JOURDAIN, TURKS, _singing and
dancing_.
_The_ MUFTI _returns, wearing on his head the state turban,
which is of enormous size, and adorned with lighted candles, four or
five rows deep; he is accompanied by_ TWO DERVISHES _bearing the
Koran, and wearing cone-shaped caps also adorned with lighted candles_.
_The two other_ DERVISHES _lead in_ MR. JOURDAIN, _and make
him kneel down, his two hands on the ground, so that his back, on
which the Koran is placed, serves for a desk for the_ MUFTI, _who
makes a second burlesque invocation, knitting his eyebrows, striking
from time to time on the Koran, and turning over the pages with
precipitation; after which, lifting up his hands, he cries with a loud
voice_, "HOU."
_During this second invocation, the other_ TURKS, _bowing down
and raising themselves alternately, sing likewise_, "Hou, hou,
hou."
MR. JOUR. (_after they have taken the Koran from off his back_).
Ouf!
THE MUFTI (_to_ MR. JOURDAIN). Ti non star furba? [Thou wilt not
be a knave?]
THE TURKS. No, no, no.
THE MUFTI. Non star forfanta? [Nor be a thief?]
THE TURKS. No, no, no.
THE MUFTI (_to the_ TURKS). Donar turbanta. [Give the turban.]
THE TURKS.
Ti non star furba? [Thou wilt not be a knave?]
No, no, no.
Non star forfanta? [Nor be a thief?]
No, no, no.
Donar turbanta. [Give the turban.]
Third entry of the BALLET.
_The_ TURKS, _dancing, put the turban on_ MR. JOURDAIN'S
_head at the sound of the instruments_.
THE MUFTI (_giving a sabre to_ MR. JOURDAIN).
Ti star nobile, non star fabbola. [Be brave, be no Scoundrel]
Pigliar schiabbola [Take the Sword.]
THE TURKS (_drawing their sabres_).
Ti star nobile, non star fabbola. [Be brave, be no Scoundrel]
Pigliar schiabbola. [Take the Sword.]
_Fourth entry of the_ BALLET.
_The_ TURKS, _dancing, strike_ MR. JOURDAIN _several times
with their swords, keeping time with the music_.
THE MUFTI.
Dara, dara
Bastonnara. [Give, give the bastonnade.]
THE TURKS.
Dara, dara
Bastonnara. [Give, give the bastonnade.]
_Fifth entry of the_ BALLET.
_The_ Turks, _dancing, give_ MR. JOURDAIN _several blows
with a stick, keeping time meanwhile_.
THE MUFTI.
Non tener honta; [Think it not a shame;]
Questa star l'ultima affronta. [This is the last affront.]
THE TURKS.
Non tener honta; [Think it not a shame;]
Questa star l'ultima affronta. [This is the last affront.]
_The_ MUFTI _begins a third invocation. The_ DERVISHES
_support him under the arms with great respect, after which the_
TURKS, _singing and dancing round the_ MUFTI, _retire with him,
and lead off_ MR. JOURDAIN.
ACT V.
SCENE I.--MRS. JOURDAIN, MR. JOURDAIN.
MRS. JOUR. Goodness gracious me! Lord, have mercy on us! What can this
be? What a figure! Is it a _momon_ [Footnote: Apparently there is
no English equivalent to _momon_ in this sense.] you have in
hand, and is this carnival time? Do speak! What does all this mean?
Who trussed you up in this manner?
MR. JOUR. Just see the impertinent woman, to speak after such a manner
to a _mamamouchi_.
MRS. JOUR. What do you say?
MR. JOUR. Yes, you must show me respect now; I have just been made a
_mamamouchi_.
MRS. JOUR. What can you possibly mean with your _mamamouchi_?
MR. JOUR. _Mamamouchi_, I tell you; I am a _mamamouchi_.
MRS. JOUR. What kind of a beast is that?
MR. JOUR. _Mamamouchi_; which in our language means paladin.
MRS. JOUR. Ballet in? Are you of an age to be dancing ballets?
MR. JOUR. What an ignorant woman you are! I say "paladin," which is a
dignity which has just been conferred upon me with all due ceremony.
MRS. JOUR. What ceremony?
MR. JOUR. _Mahameta per Jordina_.
MRS. JOUR. What does that mean?
MR. JOUR. _Jordina, that is to say Jourdain_.
MRS. JOUR. Well? What, Jourdain?
MR. JOUR. _Voler far un paladina de Jordina_.
MRS. JOUR. What?
MR. JOUR. _Dar turbanta con galera_.
MRS. JOUR. What does that mean?
MR. JOUR. _Per deffender Palestina_.
MRS. JOUR. Tell me what you mean then.
MR. JOUR. _Dara, dara bastonnara_.
MRS. JOUR. What is all this jargon?
MR. JOUR. _Non tener honta, questa star l'ultima affronta_.
MRS. JOUR. Whatever is all this?
MR. JOUR. (_singing and dancing_). _Hou la ba, ba la chow, ba
la ba, ba la da_. (_Falls to the ground_.)
MRS. JOUR. Alas, alas! my husband is gone out of his mind.
MR. JOUR. (_getting up and walking off_). Peace! Show respect to
the _mamamouchi_.
MRS. JOUR. (_alone_). Where can he have lost his senses? I must
run after him and prevent him from going out! (_Seeing_ DORIMENE
_and_ DORANTE.) Oh dear! Oh dear! Here's the last straw! I see
nothing but trouble and disgrace everywhere!
SCENE II.--DORANTE, DORIMENE.
DOR. Yes, Madam, it is the most amusing thing that you ever saw, and I
do not think that there is in the whole world a man as, crazy as this
one. Moreover, we must try to help Cleonte and back up his masquerade.
He is a most excellent fellow, and one who deserves all your interest.
DORI. I have the greatest esteem for him, and he is worthy of all
success.
DOR. We also have here, Madam, a ballet due to us. We must not miss
it, for I should be glad to see if my idea succeeds.
DORI. I saw magnificent preparations yonder; and this is a state of
things, Dorante, with which I can bear no longer. Yes, I must put an
end to your profusion; and in order to cut short all the expenses I
see you run into for me, I have decided upon marrying you as soon as
possible. This is the real secret of my decision; all these things, as
you know, end ever in matrimony.
DOR. Ah, Madam, is it possible that you should have come to such a
kind determination in my favour?
DORI. It is only to prevent you from ruining yourself, for, if I am
not quick, I clearly see that before long you will not have a penny
left.
DOR. What thanks I owe you for your anxiety about my fortune! That and
my heart are entirely yours, and you can dispose of both as shall seem
good to you.
DORI. I will make a right use of both. But here is our man coming.
What an admirable figure!
SCENE III.--MR. JOURDAIN, DORIMENE, DORANTE.
DOR. Sir, we have both come to do homage to your new dignity, and to
rejoice with you over the marriage of your daughter with the son of
the Grand Turk.
MR. JOUR. (_after bowing in the Turkish manner_). Sir, I wish you
the strength of the serpent, and the wisdom of the lion.
DORI. I am very glad to be one of the first, Sir, to come and
congratulate you on the high degree of glory to which you are raised.
MR. JOUR. Madam, may your rose-tree bloom all the year round. I am
infinitely obliged to you for interesting yourself in the honour just
bestowed upon me; and I am greatly rejoiced to see you back here, so
that I may tender to you my most humble apologies for the
extraordinary conduct of my wife.
DORI. Don't speak about it. I excuse in her such a momentary impulse;
your heart ought to be very precious to her; and it is not to be
wondered at that the possession of such a man as you are may cause her
some alarm.
MR. JOUR. The possession of my heart is a thing you have altogether
acquired.
DOR. You see, Madam, that Mr. Jourdain is not one of those whom
prosperity blinds, and that, even in his elevation, he knows how to
recognise his friends.
DORI. It is the proof of a truly generous soul.
DOR. Where can his Turkish highness be? We should like, as your
friends, to pay our homage to him.
MR. JOUR. Here he is coming, and I sent for my daughter to give him
her hand.
SCENE IV.--MR. JOURDAIN, DORIMENE, DORANTE, CLEONTE (_dressed as a
Turk_).
DORI. (_to_ CLEONTE). Sir, we come, as friends of your father-in-law,
to salute your highness, and to assure you with all respect of our most
humble services.
MR. JOUR. Where is the interpreter, to tell him who you are, and to
make him understand what you say? You shall see that he will answer
you, and he speaks Turkish wonderfully well. Holla, here! where the
deuce is he gone? (_To_ CLEONTE) _Strouf strif, strof, straf_. This
gentleman is a _grande segnore, grande segnore, grande segnore_;
and this lady a _granda dama, granda dama. (Seeing that he is not
understood)_ Ah! (_To_ CLEONTE, _showing him_ DORANTE) This
gentleman is a French _mamamouchi_, and the lady she is a French
_mamamouchess_. I cannot explain myself more clearly. Good! Here
is the interpreter.
SCENE V.--MR. JOURDAIN, DORIMENE, DORANTE, CLEONTE (_dressed as a
Turk_); COVIELLE (_disguised_).
MR. JOUR. Where are you going, then? You know that we can say nothing
without you. (_Showing_ CLEONTE.) Just tell him that this
gentleman and this lady are people of very high rank, who have come to
pay their homage to him, as friends of mine, and to assure him of
their services. (_To_ DORIMENE _and_ DORANTE) You will see how
he will answer.
COV. _Alabala crociam acci boram alabamen_.
CLE. _Catalequi tubal ouria soter amalouchan_.
MR. JOUR. (to DORIMENE and DORANTE). Do you see?
COV. He says, "May the rain of prosperity water at all times the
garden of your family."
MR. JOUR. I told you that he spoke Turkish.
DOR. This is admirable.
SCENE VI.--LUCILE, CLEONTE, MR. JOURDAIN, DORIMENE, DORANTE, COVIELLE.
MR. JOUR. Come, my daughter; come near, and give your hand to this
gentleman, who does you the honour of asking you in marriage.
LUC. Why, father, how strangely dressed you are! Are you acting a
comedy?
MR. JOUR. No, no; it is no comedy, but a very serious affair, and the
most honourable for you that could ever be wished for. (_Showing_
CLEONTE.) Here is the husband I bestow upon you.
LUC. Bestow upon me, father?
MR. JOUR. Yes, upon you. There, give him your hand, and thank heaven
for your good fortune.
LUC. I have no wish to marry.
MR. JOUR. It is all very well, but I wish it; I who am your father.
LUC. I will do nothing of the kind.
MR. JOUR. Ah! what a noise! Come, I say, give him your hand.
LUC. No, father; I told you already that no power upon earth will
force me to marry any other but Cleonte; and I would have recourse to
any extremity rather than.... (_Recognising_ CLEONTE.) But it is
true that you are my father, and that I owe you absolute obedience;
dispose of me, then, according to your will.
MR. JOUR. Truly, I am delighted to see you return so quickly to a
sense of your duty; and it is a pleasure to me to have such an
obedient daughter.
SCENE VII.--MRS. JOURDAIN. CLEONTE, MR. JOURDAIN, LUCILE, DORANTE,
DORIMENE, COVIELLE.
MRS JOUR. What is it? What is the meaning of all this? They say you
want to give your daughter in marriage to a mummer.
MR. JOUR. Will you be silent? You always come and disturb everything
with your follies; and there is no possibility of teaching you how to
behave yourself.
MRS. JOUR. It is because there is no possibility of making you wise;
and you go from folly to folly. What are your intentions? and what do
you mean to do with all this assembly of people?
MR. JOUR. I wish to marry my daughter to the son of the Grand Turk.
MRS. JOUR. To the son of the Grand Turk?
MR. JOUR. (_showing_ COVIELLE). Yes; ask the interpreter to
present your compliments to him from you.
MRS. JOUR. I have no need of an interpreter, and I can tell him myself
easily to his face that he shall not have my daughter.
MR. JOUR. Will you be silent? I ask once more.
DOR. What! Mrs. Jourdain, you oppose yourself to such an honour as
this? You refuse his Turkish highness for a son-in-law?
MRS. JOUR. Good gracious, Sir! Mind your own business, if you please.
DORI. It is an honour by no means to be rejected.
MRS. JOUR. I pray you also not to trouble yourself with that which is
no concern of yours.
DOR. It is the friendship we have for you which makes us interest
ourselves in your welfare.
MRS. JOUR. I can do very well without your friendship.
DOR. You see that your daughter yields to her father's will.
MRS. JOUR. My daughter consents to marry a Turk?
DOR. Certainly.
MRS. JOUR. She can forget Cleonte?
DOR. What will not one do to be a grand lady?
MRS. JOUR. I would strangle her with my own hands if she had done such
a thing.
MR. JOUR. Too much prating by half! I tell you the marriage shall take
place.
MRS. JOUR. And I tell you that it shan't.
MR. JOUR. Ah! what a row!
LUC. Mother!
MRS. JOUR. Leave me alone, you are a bad girl.
MR. JOUR. (_to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). What! you scold her because she
is obedient to me?
MRS. JOUR. Certainly; she belongs to me as much as she belongs to you.
COV. (_to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). Madam.
MRS. JOUR. What business have you to speak to me, you?
COV. One word.
MRS. JOUR. I'll have nothing to do with your word.
COV. (_to_ MR. JOURDAIN). Sir, if she will only listen to a word
in private, I promise you to make her consent to all you want.
MRS. JOUR. I will never consent to it.
COV. Only hear me.
MRS. JOUR. No.
MR. JOUR. (_to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). Hear him.
MRS. JOUR. No; I will not hear him.
MR. JOUR. He will tell you....
MRS. JOUR. I don't want him to tell me anything.
MR. JOUR. Did ever anybody see such obstinacy in a woman! Would it
hurt you to hear him?
COV. Only listen to me; you may do what you please afterwards.
MRS. JOUR. Well, what?
COV. (_aside, to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). We have made signs to you for
the last hour. Do you not see that all this is done to fit in with the
fancies of your husband? that we are imposing upon him under this
disguise, and that it is Cleonte himself who is the son of the Grand
Turk?
MRS. JOUR. (_aside, to_ COVIELLE). Oh! oh!
COV. (_aside, to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). And that it is I, Covielle, who
am the interpreter?
MRS. JOUR. (_aside, to _COVIELLE). Ah! if it is so, I give in.
COV. (_aside, to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). Seem not to have any idea of
what's going on.
MRS. JOUR. (_aloud_). Very well, let it be; I consent to the
marriage.
MR. JOUR. So, everyone is agreed. (_To_ MRS. JOURDAIN) You would
not listen to him. I knew he would explain to you what the son of the
Grand Turk is.
MRS. JOUR. He has explained it quite sufficiently, and I am satisfied
with it. Let us send for a notary.
DOR. The very thing! And Mrs. Jourdain, in order to set your mind at
rest, and that you should lose to-day all feelings of jealousy which
you may have felt about your husband, this lady and I will ask the
same notary to marry us.
MRS. JOUR. I consent to that also.
MR. JOUR. (_aside_, to DORANTE). It is to deceive her, is it not?
DOR. (_aside_, to MR. JOURDAIN). We must amuse her with this
notion.
MR. JOUR. Good, good. (_Aloud_) Let somebody go at once for the
notary.
DOR. Whilst he draws up the contract, let us see our ballet, and give
the entertainment to his Turkish highness.
MR. JOUR. It is well thought of. Let us go to our places.
MRS. JOUR. And Nicole?
MR. JOUR. I give her to the interpreter, and my wife to anyone who
will have her.
COV. Sir, I thank you. (_Aside_) If it is possible to find a
greater fool than this one, I will go and publish it in Rome.
BALLET AND DIVERTISSEMENT.
End of Project Gutenberg's The Shopkeeper Turned Gentleman, by Moliere