"I'm afraid not."
"You poor, miserable hellhound, what do you mean, you won't be able to
come?"
"Well, I won't."
"Why not?"
"Matters of the most extreme urgency render my presence in the
metropolis imperative."
She sniffed. "I suppose what you really mean is that you're hanging
round some unfortunate girl again!"
I didn't like the way she put it, but I admit I was stunned by her
penetration, if that's the word I want. I mean the sort of thing
detectives have.
"Yes, Aunt Dahlia," I said. "You have guessed my secret. I do indeed
love."
"Who is she?"
"A Miss Pendlebury. Christian name, Gwladys. She spells it with a _w_."
"With a _g_, you mean."
"With a _w and_ a _g_."
"Not Gwladys?"
"That's it."
The relative uttered a yowl.
"You sit there and tell me you haven't enough sense to steer clear of
a girl who calls herself Gwladys? Listen, Bertie," said Aunt Dahlia
earnestly. "I'm an older woman than you are--well, you know what I
mean--and I can tell you a thing or two. And one of them is that no
good can come of association with anything labelled Gwladys or Ysobel
or Ethyl or Mabelle or Kathryn. But particularly Gwladys. What sort of
girl is she?"
"Slightly divine."
"She isn't that female I saw driving you at sixty miles p.h. in the
park the other day? In a red two-seater."
"She did drive me in the park the other day. I thought it rather a
hopeful sign. And her Widgeon Seven is red."
Aunt Dahlia looked relieved. "Oh, well, then, she'll probably break
your silly fat neck before she can get you to the altar. That's some
consolation. Where did you meet her?"
"At a party in Chelsea. She's an artist."
"Ye gods!"
"And swings a jolly fine brush, let me tell you. She's painted a
portrait of me. Jeeves and I hung it up in the flat this morning. I
have an idea Jeeves doesn't like it."
"Well, if it's anything like you I don't see why he should. An artist!
Calls herself Gwladys. And drives a car in the sort of way Segrave
would if he was pressed for time." She brooded awhile. "Well, it's all
very sad, but I can't see why you won't come on the yacht."