"Jeeves," I said, "what has been happening?"
"As far as Mr. Sipperley's romance is concerned, sir, all, I am happy
to report, is well. He and Miss Moon have arrived at a satisfactory
settlement."
"I know. They're engaged. But how did it happen?"
"I took the liberty of telephoning to Mr. Sipperley in your name,
asking him to come immediately to the flat, sir."
"Oh, that's how he came to be at the flat? Well?"
"I then took the liberty of telephoning to Miss Moon and informing her
that Mr. Sipperley had met with a nasty accident. As I anticipated, the
young lady was strongly moved and announced her intention of coming to
see Mr. Sipperley immediately. When she arrived, it required only a few
moments to arrange the matter. It seems that Miss Moon has long loved
Mr. Sipperley, sir, and----"
"I should have thought that, when she turned up and found he hadn't
had a nasty accident, she would have been thoroughly pipped at being
fooled."
"Mr. Sipperley had had a nasty accident, sir."
"He had?"
"Yes, sir."
"Rummy coincidence. I mean, after what you were saying this morning."
"Not altogether, sir. Before telephoning to Miss Moon I took the
further liberty of striking Mr. Sipperley a sharp blow on the head with
one of your golf clubs, which was fortunately lying in a corner of the
room. The putter, I believe, sir. If you recollect, you were practising
with it this morning before you left."
I gaped at the blighter. I had always known Jeeves for a man of
infinite sagacity, sound beyond belief on any question of ties or
spats; but never before had I suspected him capable of strong-arm work
like this. It seemed to open up an entirely new aspect of the fellow. I
can't put it better than by saying that, as I gazed at him, the scales
seemed to fall from my eyes.
"Good heavens, Jeeves!"
"I did it with the utmost regret, sir. It appeared to me the only
course."
"But look here, Jeeves. I don't get this. Wasn't Mr. Sipperley pretty
shirty when he came to and found that you had been soaking him with
putters?"
"He was not aware that I had done so, sir. I took the precaution of
waiting until his back was momentarily turned."
"But how did you explain the bump on his head?"
"I informed him that your new vase had fallen on him, sir."
"Why on earth would he believe that? The vase would have been smashed."
"The vase was smashed, sir."
"What!"
"In order to achieve verisimilitude, I was reluctantly compelled to
break it, sir. And in my excitement, sir, I am sorry to say I broke it
beyond repair."